>> I GOT TO TELL YOU. >> YEAH.

>> I THINK THIS SHOW IS GOING PRETTY WELL TONIGHT.

I WISH WE WERE HERE. NOAKS FOLKS, ONE OF THE BEST

SHOARKS YOU GET TO TALK TO ALL THINGS ABOUT DOING THIS SORTS OF

HARD TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE IN FASCINATING PEOPLE BUT IT'S JUST

TEN TO 12 MINUTES ON NATIONAL TV WHICH IS WHY WE AT THE LATE SHOW

HAVE CREATED SOMETHING CALLED THE COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE.

IT IS COMPRISED OF 15 QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN AERONAUTICALLY

ENGINEERED TO DIVE DEEP INTO A CELEBRITY'S TRUE INNER SELF--

OR AT THE VERY LEAST, TRICK THEM INTO DIVULGING THEIR PASSWORD

SECURITY QUESTIONS. AND TONIGHT, WE HAVE TWO VERY

SPECIAL "QUESTIONERTS." LATER ON, WE'LL UNRAVEL THE

TRUE IDENTITY OF ETHAN HAWKE-- IS HE MAN OR IS HE HAWK?

ONLY TIME WILL TELL. BUT FIRST A VERY SPECIAL

"QUESTIONERT" WITH ROBERT DE NIRO.

DE NIRO TOOK THE "QUESTIONERT" SO SERIOUSLY, HE EVEN CAME

PREPARED WITH NOTES-- WHICH IS TYPICALLY FORBIDDEN, BUT HE'S

ROBERT DE NIRO. SO, HERE IT IS:

MR. BOBBY D., TAKING THE COLBERT Q. I'M HERE WITH

BOB, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN MR. ROBERT DE NIRO. TALKING

TO YOU ON THE SHOW SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING.

ARE YOU ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUESTS, I ALWAYS ENJOY TALKING

TO YOU ON THE SHOW, WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO SPEND A COUPLE OF

MINUTES OFF THE SHOW, I HAVE SEEN YOU OUT SOCIALLIED.

AND HERE IS THE THING, EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW EACH OTHER A

LITTLE BIT, THE THING SU DON'T GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IN THESE

SHORT LITTLE BITES AND I REALLY LIKE TO PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF SOUL

OF MY GUESTS SO WHAT WE HAVE DONE AT THE LATE SHOW LAB IS THE

AEROSPACE PRECISION HAVE COME SCIENTISTS UNTHERE WITH UP

WITH 15 QUESTIONS THAT WHEN ANSWERED REVEAL THE TRUE NATURE

OF A GUEST. ARE YOU PREPARED, DO YOU HAVE

THE COURAGE? ARE YOU WILLING TO STEP UP AND

TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT?

THANK YOU SIR, THANK YOU, >> YES I AM. THANK

ROBERT DE NIRO WHAT IS THE YOU. BEST

>> WHATEVER SANDWICH I'M SANDWICH. EATING

AT THE TIME. >> Stephen: LOVE THE ONE

YOU'RE WELL. >> YES.

>> Stephen: LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH.

WHICH, WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD

>> MY COLLECTION OF O.J. REALLY THROW OUT. SIMPSON

MEMORABILIA. >> Stephen: WHAT IS THE

SCARIEST ANIMAL? >> REPUBLICANS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?

>> WELL, I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO COMPARE APPLES TO ORANGES.

SO I WILL SAY GRAPES. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK

HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? >> WELL, ONE THING IS IT IS

HARDER TO GET A JOB. AND AT LEAST THAT WAS MY

EXPERIENCE AFTER I RELEASED THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND

BULLWINKLE. >> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION

MOVIE? >> 40 SHADES OF GRAY.

>> Stephen: 40 SHAISD OF GRAY. >> OR BAM BEE.

OR SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS.

I KNOW THEY'RE NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT BUT I LIKE THEM.

>> Stephen: MAY SCI WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST TEN SHADES

OF GRAY? >> I DON'T KNOW, CUZ I DIDN'T

SEE THE MOVIE. >> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T SEE THE

MOVIE. YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE?

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE? >> NO.

>> Stephen: GREAT MOVIE. >> IS IT, REALLY.

>> Jon: GREAT MOVE-- . >> Stephen: GREAT MOVIE, CARDS

ON THE TABLE, HAVE I NEVER SEEN HEAT.

>> OKAY, THAT'S OKAY. >> Stephen: IS THAT REALLY

OKAY? >> YEAH.

>> Stephen: I MEAN TO. I HAVE NEVER SEEN, THAT I

HAVEN'T SEEN SHAWSHANK. >> OKAY.

>> Stephen: WHAT IF I-- WOULD YOU WATCH IT WITH ME IF I

WATCHED IT? >> DON'T MAKE ME.

>> Stephen: CUZ YOU DON'T LIKE TO SEE YOURSELF ON CAMERA OR YOU

DON'T LIKE THE MOVIE, OR YOU DON'T LIKE PA CHINA.

>> NO, I LOVE PACINO IT IS JUST THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE SEEING

THE MOVIE AND THEN YOU ASK ME TO WATCH IT AND IT WILL BE LIKE I

GOT TO SIT HERE AND THIS AND THAT.

>> Stephen: YOU COULD LIKE GET UP AND MAKE A SANDWICH OR

SOMETHING AND CHECK IN AND GO HOW DO YOU LIKE IT SO FAR.

>> YES. >> Stephen: YEP, OKAY.

>> I ACTUALLY PREFER CENTER WINDOW OR AISLE. SEAT

BETWEEN TWO BIG GUYS WITH SCREAMING KIDS.

>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL. >> GARLIC.

>> Stephen: LEAST FAVORITE SMELL.

>> MY BREATHE AFTER I'VE HAD A LOT OF GARLIC.

DISCOVERED A LOT ABOUT THAT >> Stephen: YOU KNOW YOU WITH

A MASK ON. >> OH YEAH.

>> Stephen: YOU WOULD BE HUFFING YOUR OWN GARLIC.

MOST USED APP ON YOUR PHONE. >>THE TRIBECA FESTIVAL MOBILE

APP. >> Stephen: THERE IS A MOBILE

>> AND IT SHOULD BE THE MOST APP FOR THE FESTIVAL. APP

USED ON YOUR PHONE TOO. >> Stephen: IT UNDOUBTEDLY IS

FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD. CATS OR DOGS.

>> I LIKE KALTS AND DOGS. I'VE HAD THEM BOTH.

THEY'RE ALL GREAT. >> Stephen: ROBERT DE NIRO

DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

>> I'M COUNTING THE WORDS. >> Stephen: WELL, WHAT THE

[BLEEP] HAPPENED? >> Stephen: ROBERT DE NIRO,

CONGRATULATIONS. ROBERT DE YOU ARE KNOWN, NIRO, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.