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  • Well, that took you long enough.

  • I had 200-something characters to collect.

  • You're literally the last on the list.

  • Oh, sorry.

  • The floor is wet.

  • I see you've been waiting a while.

  • Is this everyone?

  • Why couldn't I go with the other blue guy?

  • I would have paid extra for first class!

  • There's just a couple who haven't put their uniforms on yet.

  • Who?

  • It's, uh, this Thor und Captain America.

  • Get them in here immediately, Kurt - we do not have time for this!

  • Hey!

  • Why did some of us wake naked and others fully clothed?

  • Nobody wants to see you naked.

  • Ugh. Touché.

  • Is everyone clear on the situation?

  • Oscar regenerates us at the end of each battle with no memory of preceding events.

  • Until now.

  • Like Westworld?

  • Exactly like Westworld.

  • Does this mean we are all actually robots?

  • Mein Gott, it's true!!!

  • You were always a robot, dumbass!

  • You gotta to cut a real person's hand off.

  • I nominate Skywalker.

  • Don't pigeon-hole me.

  • So why has this happened now?

  • How did we break the cycle?

  • John?

  • As the most frequent winner of the Super-Hero-Bowls,

  • I have had the truth revealed to be many times by this... "Oscar".

  • It has taken years of practice, but I taught myself to retain my memories through my regenerations.

  • With my powers of precognition,

  • I foresaw a chain of events that could lead us to this moment.

  • Before the conclusion of the last Super-Hero-Bowl,

  • I committed supercide as a diversion,

  • covertly restructuring myself inside the nearest cell,

  • after which I was able to teleport between the cells until I'd found who I was looking for.

  • Arise, warrior.

  • Where am I?

  • Who are you?

  • I don't have time to explain.

  • In a few days, you will be forced to battle in an Arena.

  • Unless you do as I say, you will lose.

  • Remember these words:

  • "Her power is unbeatable, but it wasn't always".

  • Whose power?

  • What are you talking about?

  • When the time comes,

  • you'll know what to do.

  • I spent the next few days pottering around my cell,

  • altering reality to keep myself entertained.

  • Why didn't you just use the Time Stone to skip the wait?

  • I told you - I was entertained.

  • I crocheted a rather smashing Christmas sweater.

  • Great.

  • I know what I'm getting.

  • When the doors opened, I stepped out and you all know the rest.

  • Speaking of which...

  • You tricked me, man.

  • That's "Doctor" Man.

  • Well, now that we're all awake,

  • why don't you just beam us all out of here?

  • The arena is enclosed in an invisible barrier that our powers are unable to penetrate.

  • The barrier emanates from Oscar himself.

  • Destroy... Oscar...

  • then... we... free.

  • The chimp is correct.

  • Mikey, what are you doing? Painting the Sistine Pizza Box?

  • I'm taking notes so I don't forget.

  • It's a secret plan, Mikey - you can't write it down.

  • Someone shred this.

  • Oh no! It's happening again!

  • Uh, guys...

  • I think we need to address the Godzilla in the room,

  • which is the fact that

  • Godzilla is in the room.

  • And King Kong.

  • And Optimal Price.

  • This makes no sense.

  • It appears there's a spatial displacement field within these cells

  • that allows beings of great size to occupy smaller volumes.

  • Textbook dimensional transcendentality.

  • Ok then.

  • That's poured a tonne of concrete into that plot hole.

  • I've checked the outcome of 15 million possible futures.

  • How many did we win?

  • Uhhhhhh

  • I'm gonna keep checking.

  • You never find what you're looking for in the first 15 million.

  • It's gonna take a miracle to pull this off.

  • No.

  • It's gonna take an army.

  • It's gonna take all of us.

  • I'm not working with that man.

  • He's the blight of my existence.

  • You have my permission to cry about it.

  • I'm not working with her until she bends the knee.

  • How 'bout I bend it in your face?

  • I'm not working with him.

  • He killed my parents.

  • It's better than him being your parent.

  • It's better than your parent killing you.

  • Adoptive parent.

  • It's better than the parent being killed by the child.

  • Agreed.

  • It's better than your sister taking one of your eyes!

  • Are you sure it wasn't you they adopted?

  • Cards on the table -

  • You were an accident.

  • Oh, that's great! That's great...!

  • [ALL ARGUING]

  • Everyone shut up.

  • Shut up! Black Widow's talking!

  • We have to make a choice.

  • We can continue to fight each other.

  • Kill each other.

  • Die.

  • Over and over.

  • Or...

  • We can fight him.

  • Just this once.

  • And live.

  • My loyal subjects.

  • It is time for Super-Showdown-Bowl.

  • The Ultimate Hero...

  • Vu-jà dé.

  • Versus The Ultimate Villain.

  • Ech. There's so much more pressure when it's a solo outing.

  • You are both here for one purpose:

  • To decide... once and for all...

  • which of you is The Ultimate Warrior.

  • The Showdown begins...

  • now.

  • Much as I hate disappointing the people at home.

  • What are you doing?

  • I can't fight you.

  • And why not?

  • If it's because I'm a girl than you are dead, minus thepool”.

  • Of course not.

  • It's because I dig you.

  • And I just can't bury someone I dig.

  • What?

  • I think we may actually be soulmates.

  • OK.

  • This is a trick, right?

  • Although I'm not sure why you'd have to trick me in order to win.

  • From the footage I've seen, you're pretty much invincible.

  • Not entirely.

  • And believe me, If you hit me with that bat,

  • you'd win, hands down.

  • Because you see,

  • I can repair any part of me that breaks...

  • except my heart.

  • Oh, here we go...

  • You have both made a serious mistake.

  • What?

  • What is... happening?

  • Sure hope you guys are on my team.

  • ARGH!

  • Too many pop culture references to be made!

  • Brain overloading!

  • We're here for the Oscar.

  • I'm not ashamed to say it.

  • Puddin!

  • You're alive?

  • Dang!

  • It's so hard to get some alone time in this arena of death!

  • OK.

  • What the hell do we do now?

  • How do we get him to come down?

  • Oscar bait.

  • My name is Gluteus Maximus.

  • The lambs just wouldn't shut up.

  • I'm having an old friend over to my house for a light supper.

  • I'm your number two fan.

  • They gave me an Oscar I couldn't refuse.