Is this a-, is this an Asian spare rib?

(chill music)

- My name is Marquis Sean Miles.

- Hey, what's up, I'm Reuel Belt.

- Hello, my name is Louis Macarthur.

- My name is Top Rope Zeus

and I am here to destroy all barbecue dads.

- All right, so without giving away all my secrets,

what goes into making a special barbecue

is the love you put in it.

You know, I think the biggest thing that goes into it

is just being honest about who you making it for

and what you want their reaction to be.

- I'm in love with the grill.

I kiss it before I start.

You gotta make sure you're connected with it, you're one.

- I also have the sandals, the brown grill sandals,

the Jesus 3000s that all dads wear

with the heel out,

and I make sure to always have a little bit of ash

on the back of my heel.

It's very important for the seasoning.

- (appreciative noises)

I just knew my beans were gonna be so banging

I forgot the ribs.

(chill music)

- These beans already don't look no good.

Little bit of those beans bruh.

(disapproving noises)

Naw.

- This looks like

somebody already took a bite outta this one,

and it look like he just,

he ain't try to give us the whole rib.

I'm a grown man and this like a little kid rib.

- Maybe I am little biased on my beans right now

I ain't even about to play with them things.

That rib is good.

It's like jerky, beef jerky.

- Because this is pink, this tells me

that this is not done, and it's tough.

Yeah we don't even have to go there for that one.

That's not edible.

- I'mma try it out but I don't know, I mean...

That's all right.

I think he went to try to put his foot in it

and maybe just put an elbow in.

- I don't even know if they cooked these beans.

You know how you just cook beans in a can

and just put them in there,

that's what they did.

You got another plate?

We'll put this to the side.

(laughs)

- [Producer] You not gonna try it?

- Naw.

- Yeah let me check these beans out now.

I don't know what he did with them beans.

They taste like nothing.

These taste like absolute, I don't even,

I'm not even going back.

Y'all can just...

Stick to the rib, bruh.

- On a scale of one to ten I'm gonna give this one a six.

It needs some seasoning or something.

- You forgot to say zero.

Zero, not even a one.

You lose.

That one right there, I'm sorry,

you can't even eat that, look at that meat.

Cook the meat, you had all last night.

- If they went back to the drawing board, let it marinate,

let the sauce get up in there, seven.

But he put the bean with it, ugh.

(coughs)

Mm-mm.

(upbeat music)

- Okay, the Denny's box.

- Oh, he got a whole dinosaur leg in this.

And he gave yams and greens.

Listen this definitely looks like one of them

real nice cafeteria places that you take your aunt

after a good church service.

- Let me show y'all this, this is-

Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, I see you pops.

- I see everything that I wanna eat but some baked beans.

- So even though he gave me a whole Thanksgiving plate

I'm just gonna judge it just based off of what we going off.

We gonna see what's up with this big Jurassic Park rib.

- You can't let dads just be breaking all the rules,

even though he done brought this

big Flintstone rib up in here.

- Look man, say the rib gotta come off the bone,

fall of the bone rib.

- That's a real rib.

- I don't know if it's better than mine

but it's pretty good.

- Damn, he can come to the barbecue whoever he is.

Just bring these ribs and you can come to the barbecue.

- If I had to rate this rib at anything

I'd give it a strong seven.

I don't think you would get canceled at the cookout.

- I'll give this plate a nine

cause he got me thoroughly impressed.

This rib just keeps falling of its bone.

- You get a five out of ten bro,

because the rib is A+.

You ain't got no baked beans, the rib is fire,

so you gone get a five.

(upbeat music)

- Is that a hot dog?

What the...?

(laughing)

- Yeah I smell that,

that's sweet and sour, ain't no barbecue.

- What in the Panda Express is going on here?

Is duck sauce on the side of this?

This came with fried rice and a fortune cookie.

- What kinda sauce is this,

is this some sort of ketchup?

It's not cooked brother.

- This why people are vegan right here.

(laughs)

- I feel like the other dads, we not following directions.

It's barbecue ribs, just we...

You know what, I'm judging it too much.

- I don't know what this is, it should came with a label.

I'll try the sauce.

- We don't got to try it, right?

I think I'm just gone pass on this one.

Don't think nothing bout this look right.

I said I was gone try everything but I lied.

- That's kinda biting back a little bit

as it goes down my throat.

- And the beans...

Oh, naw.

- It tastes like potato salad.

- There is no spice to it, there is no seasoning,

it's onions, but they big onions.

He could've diced it a little bit,

cause if you at the cookout and you talking to a

you know, a little thing right there,

you say, "Hey, what's happening?"

She's gonna be outta there because of the onions.

- I'mma give it a one cause he came, but mm-mm.

I'mma pass on this one.

- I give this a two, I'mma tell you why man.

This is not a real barbecue spare rib.

This came with chopsticks and friend rice.

And if you on the East Coast,

it's a big tea that comes up in a plastic container.

- Scale of one to ten I would have to just give it a one.

(dramatic music)

- Ribs and beans, that-

I thought we were all on the same accord here.

- And I just knew my beans gone be so banging,

I forgot the ribs.

- He just gone bring beans up here, ain't like-

(laughs)

This negro right here man.

- Where the-, did he hide the r-, is the rib hidden?

- Lemme tell you something black dads,

show up to the cookout with a hundred black hungry people

with just beans,

brother you won't see another cookout, I tell you that.

- Let me just shut up and try this dude beans, he got some-

Lemme see what's going on with his beans.

Beans are not seasoned, people forget

you gotta season your beans.

- Mm-hm, this guy I think he tried to steal my recipe

but he left out the hot sauce.

- He probably tried to sprinkle some oregano on here,

either oregano or he dropped a dime bag in this thing.

- Considering that he didn't bring

meat to barbecue,

we're here for, I don't know if he grilled the beans,