Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Holy Mother of all creatures, great and small! It's the largest Krabby Patty the world has ever seen! It's... it's... gorgeous! Oh great Patty, take me! Take me home, Daddy! [screaming] Keep running! It's getting closer! No! It isn't! Look where I'm pointing. It stopped! Hey, he's right! One Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy. Now, wait just a darn minute. Aw! I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty! The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it. Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child. The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach. [laughing] And that's another thing. I'm not a boy! I'm so old, I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles on my liver spots. One Pipsqueak Patty... and your bib and high chair. [laughing] Hey, my Krabby Patty is just a bun! And the two buns, they're also buns, stale buns. My patty tastes like sadness. Alright, that's enough. Patties with emotional flavors, it's two bits extra. Now, pay at the register. I am your boss, and I order you to give me that patty! No, Mr. Krabs, I will not! But I will give you these. Nature Patties! - Oh boy! - How delightful. Dig in, boys! [mumbling] Oh! It's like eating the inside of a lawnmower. I think mine is mostly stones. Out here, we call them forest tomatoes. Everyone, watch and learn. No one watches Jim. One Patty, the right way. [cheering] It's a thing of beauty. What's so great about a Jim Patty anyway? Eh. It's okay. Wow! That was... amazing. My Kiddy Meal didn't come with a toy! Hmm. And you'd like to upgrade to the toy package. Is that right? Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys. Oh really? Then what do you call... this? [gasping] An official Krusty Krab licensed toy! My purpose in life is to have you as my toy. Eek. Disgusting. Yep, it's pretty special, alright. And it can be yours for only... hey good lookin'. I love you. Officially Licensed Krabby Patty Toy. No, too formal. I think I'll call you... oh, Patty Pal! Too bad we couldn't take the elevator, but it is for guests only and you are an employee. Your room, sir. And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs. [gasping] You've got to be kidding me! And I want it here in five seconds. Yes, sir! Here you are, sir! Well, you got your stinky sandwich, now eat it. Oh, I'm not gonna eat this. - You are. - What? You're outta your mind if you think I'm gonna eat that s... Shh! That's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese toenails and nose hair. [laughing] Now, I get you boy. [laughing] Alright, Squidward. [laughing] [laughing] SpongeBob! Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese. Hooray! [gasping] Oh no, Squidward, wait. There's cheese on these patties! And? Bubble Buddy's lactose intolerant. He can't eat cheese. What should we do? We? How about you take these patties and... Mr. Squidward! Don't worry, Bubble Buddy. Squidward will make a fresh batch. What? Is he allergic to bread too? Actually, he doesn't like the crust. And Squidward, the ketchup should be under the patty. And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side. And Squidward, you should. And Squidward. And Squidward... Here! One of everything! No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left, four squirts ketchup, wheat buns, non dairy lettuce, and farm raised tomatoes, Carnival style! And if there's anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask! I'm starving. No problem. Two patties coming right up. [humming] Your Doodle Patty, sir. Tastes weird! Yeah, they are a little dry. Welcome to the Krusty Krab. My name is Squidward. May I take your order? Hmm. Uh... Oh, I'll have a uh... no. Oh! Maybe, no. Hmm. I'll have... no. Oh maybe... Are you planning on ordering today, sir? I'll have a Krabby Patty. How original? And with extra onions. Daring today, aren't we? One Krabby Patty, extra onions. One Crying Johnny, coming up! First bun, then Patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun. In that order. One Crying Johnny, up! Whatever. Krabby Patty's again? [sighing] If only there were something else. Hey, what you got there, Frank? It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener. Well, that's sounds very interesting. Krabby Patty has a bold new shape! Hey, I'd like to request a wiener. Me too. Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! Squidward, what's that noise? Excruciating. Up here, boy! Take a look. I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say? It says, Krusty Dogs. Only $3.99 or $4.99 with cheese. $4.99? That's highway robbery. [indiscernible], Monsieur Squidward. [indiscernible] My Krusty Dog, handwritten on the menu. Oh pinch me, Squidward! Excuse me, Mr. Pizza Man. You need a fry cook? Ah, boy, do I? Can you make pizza? Okay. Probably. Oh, that's amazing. Congratulations.