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  • Holy Mother of all creatures, great and small!

  • It's the largest Krabby Patty the world has ever seen!

  • It's...

  • it's...

  • gorgeous!

  • Oh great Patty, take me!

  • Take me home, Daddy!

  • [screaming]

  • Keep running! It's getting closer!

  • No! It isn't!

  • Look where I'm pointing.

  • It stopped!

  • Hey, he's right!

  • One Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.

  • Now, wait just a darn minute.

  • Aw!

  • I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty.

  • I want an adult size Krabby Patty!

  • The Krabby Patty is too big for you.

  • You'll never finish it.

  • Don't you see what you're doing?

  • You're treating me like a child.

  • The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach.

  • [laughing]

  • And that's another thing.

  • I'm not a boy! I'm so old,

  • I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles on my liver spots.

  • One Pipsqueak Patty...

  • and your bib and high chair.

  • [laughing]

  • Hey, my Krabby Patty is just a bun!

  • And the two buns,

  • they're also buns,

  • stale buns.

  • My patty tastes like sadness.

  • Alright, that's enough.

  • Patties with emotional flavors,

  • it's two bits extra. Now, pay at the register.

  • I am your boss, and I order you to give me that patty!

  • No, Mr. Krabs, I will not!

  • But I will give you these.

  • Nature Patties!

  • - Oh boy! - How delightful.

  • Dig in, boys!

  • [mumbling]

  • Oh!

  • It's like eating the inside of a lawnmower.

  • I think mine is mostly stones.

  • Out here, we call them forest tomatoes.

  • Everyone, watch and learn.

  • No one watches Jim.

  • One Patty, the right way.

  • [cheering]

  • It's a thing of beauty.

  • What's so great about a Jim Patty anyway?

  • Eh. It's okay.

  • Wow!

  • That was...

  • amazing.

  • My Kiddy Meal didn't come with a toy!

  • Hmm.

  • And you'd like to upgrade to the toy package.

  • Is that right?

  • Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys.

  • Oh really?

  • Then what do you call... this?

  • [gasping]

  • An official Krusty Krab licensed toy!

  • My purpose in life is to have you as my toy.

  • Eek.

  • Disgusting.

  • Yep, it's pretty special, alright.

  • And it can be yours for only...

  • hey good lookin'.

  • I love you. Officially Licensed Krabby Patty Toy.

  • No, too formal.

  • I think I'll call you... oh, Patty Pal!

  • Too bad we couldn't take the elevator,

  • but it is for guests only

  • and you are an employee.

  • Your room, sir.

  • And I'd like to order room service.

  • I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese,

  • toenail clippings, and nose hairs.

  • [gasping]

  • You've got to be kidding me!

  • And I want it here in five seconds.

  • Yes, sir!

  • Here you are, sir!

  • Well, you got your stinky sandwich,

  • now eat it.

  • Oh, I'm not gonna eat this.

  • - You are. - What?

  • You're outta your mind

  • if you think I'm gonna eat that s...

  • Shh!

  • That's not really a Krabby Patty

  • with cheese toenails and nose hair.

  • [laughing]

  • Now, I get you boy.

  • [laughing]

  • Alright, Squidward.

  • [laughing]

  • [laughing]

  • SpongeBob!

  • Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese.

  • Hooray!

  • [gasping]

  • Oh no, Squidward, wait. There's cheese on these patties!

  • And?

  • Bubble Buddy's lactose intolerant. He can't eat cheese.

  • What should we do?

  • We?

  • How about you take these patties and...

  • Mr. Squidward!

  • Don't worry, Bubble Buddy.

  • Squidward will make a fresh batch.

  • What? Is he allergic to bread too?

  • Actually, he doesn't like the crust.

  • And Squidward,

  • the ketchup should be under the patty.

  • And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side.

  • And Squidward, you should.

  • And Squidward. And Squidward...

  • Here! One of everything!

  • No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left,

  • four squirts ketchup, wheat buns, non dairy lettuce,

  • and farm raised tomatoes,

  • Carnival style!

  • And if there's anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask!

  • I'm starving.

  • No problem. Two patties coming right up.

  • [humming]

  • Your Doodle Patty, sir.

  • Tastes weird!

  • Yeah, they are a little dry.

  • Welcome to the Krusty Krab.

  • My name is Squidward.

  • May I take your order?

  • Hmm. Uh...

  • Oh, I'll have a uh... no. Oh! Maybe, no. Hmm.

  • I'll have... no. Oh maybe...

  • Are you planning on ordering today, sir?

  • I'll have a Krabby Patty.

  • How original?

  • And with extra onions.

  • Daring today, aren't we?

  • One Krabby Patty, extra onions.

  • One Crying Johnny, coming up!

  • First bun, then Patty,

  • followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles,

  • extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun.

  • In that order. One Crying Johnny, up!

  • Whatever.

  • Krabby Patty's again?

  • [sighing]

  • If only there were something else.

  • Hey, what you got there, Frank?

  • It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty,

  • but it's shaped like a wiener.

  • Well, that's sounds very interesting.

  • Krabby Patty has a bold new shape!

  • Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.

  • Me too.

  • Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!

  • Squidward, what's that noise?

  • Excruciating.

  • Up here, boy! Take a look.

  • I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs!

  • What's it say?

  • It says, Krusty Dogs.

  • Only $3.99 or $4.99 with cheese.

  • $4.99? That's highway robbery.

  • [indiscernible], Monsieur Squidward.

  • [indiscernible]

  • My Krusty Dog, handwritten on the menu.

  • Oh pinch me, Squidward!

  • Excuse me, Mr. Pizza Man.

  • You need a fry cook?

  • Ah, boy, do I?

  • Can you make pizza?

  • Okay.

  • Probably.

  • Oh, that's amazing. Congratulations.