Now, let's see where the problem's at.

Hmm. Interesting.

[sniffing]

Uh, Patrick.

Hmm. Interesting.

Patrick.

Patrick, this isn't helping.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize you were a doctor.

I'm not.

Oh, but I'm sure you can figure it out

with your 12 years of med school.

Patrick, you didn't go to med school.

- So. - Patrick, I'm sorry.

I really need your help.

Oh, no, no. It looks like you have things under control.

Please, Patrick. I don't want to go home early.

[crying]

Okay, but we play by my rules, SquareBob.

Well, here's your problem.

But don't you worry, buddy. We're gonna make it go away.

Ah, thanks, Patrick. You're a lifesaver.

Ow!

There appears to be a little bit of swelling.

This garbage compress should help that go down.

That doesn't look good.

[beeping]

[whistling]

Eh, SpongeBob. Did you clean out the-

Sweet Dutchman's ghost!

When's the last time you took a bath, boy-o?

you're riddled with vermin.

I-I d-don't know what you mean, sir.

If customers find out you're touching patties

with your wormy hands,

the health department will shut us down for sure.

I understand, sir.

Mr. Krabs, will you excuse me for a second?

Frinkles, you heard my boss.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask

you and your friends to leave. Please.

Squatter's rights?

What the heck is squatter's rights?

Ooh, they're lawyering up, boy-o.

They're making a legal claim to keep living in your body.

It's okay, Mr. Krabs. They're not hurting me.

Son, you gotta understand.

I can't have you work here

in your present filthy conditcherian.

Now, that's the last straw! Mr. Squid-!

On it, sir. Hasta la vista, worm boy.

And don't come back until you're dewormed!

What am I going to do?

[beeping]

[yelling]

Get him!

Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom

in my own home!

And need I need an elevator to climb one stair! Hi-yah!

We've been shrinking for years!

But this is ridiculous.

[beeping]

SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

[grunting]

Ouch.

Uh, just kidding. Just kidding.

[laughing]

That SpongeBob's funnier than ears on an acorn.

[laughing]

Oh, this is it.

They're all going to find out I'm a fake.

I can't give up. I've got to try.

I can do it! I've got anchor arms!

I'm no wimp, I'm a jerk!

Yeah.

[grunting]

[grunting]

Ooh.

[grunting]

[grunting]

SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

[grunting]

[beeping]

[laughing] Whoa! Whoo! Whoo!

Oh, this feels like Mrs. Puff. Hi, Mrs. Puff.

[laughing]

Remember, SpongeBob, we agreed,

outside of class, we don't know each other.

Oh, yeah.

Well, here's your Krabby Patty, mysterious lady.

Eye hope you enjoy your meal.

[laughing]

[yelping] The health inspector?

But I already bribed him this year.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Just as I feared.

Someone in this restaurant is infected

with the highly contagious clam flu.

You're all under quarantine.

Hmm. Hmm.

[beeping]

[sneezing]

It appears as though we'll have to plug up

these holes. This oughta do the trick.

Viola.

[sneezing]

Feel better?

I don't know.

[sneezing]

Help! I'm shrinking!

No! Please don't hurt me!

No bubbles.

Patrick, your treatment is working.

You think so?

Sure. At this rate, I'll be cured in no time.

In fact, I'm going to call Sandy

and tell her not to come. Thanks, Dr. Patrick.

And they said I'd never make anything out of myself.

My fingers are too big for the buttons.

Dr. Patrick, could you call Sandy for me?

Sure, patient SpongeBob.

[dialing]

Hello, Sandy.

Hi, Patrick.

I'm calling on behalf of my patient, SpongeBob.

I'm on my way over to take him to the hospital.

Uh, that will no longer be required.

He is in my care as of today.

Well, I'm coming over to take a look.

I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit

- on a hot-- - Oh, yeah, yeah, the rabbit.

Don't bother, Sandy.

Oh, SpongeBob, quick, Sandy's coming.

We've got to make sure you're well

or she'll take you to the doctor.

Don't touch me, I'm sterile.

Scalpel, please.

- Feeling better? - Uh-uh.

[grunting]

Feeling better yet?

Not really.

How... about... now?

I don't think so.

Feeling better?

No. [screaming]

How about now?

Nope. [screaming]

How about now?

Uh-uh. [screaming]

Hello? SpongeBob?

[knocking]

Uh-oh, it's Sandy.

[sneezing]

[beeping]

Pardon me. Ugly sponge coming through.

People respect self-esteem.

Hi. I'm very ugly.

But you should enjoy the movie anyway.

Excuse me, sir.

I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you.

Not at all, boy. [sniffing]

[crying]

Don't worry about him, SpongeBob. He's just a-.

- [crying] - SpongeBob.

SpongeBob, what's wrong?

[sniffling] I can't do this, Patrick.

I've tried and I've tried,

but, I'm not always as confident as I look.

Maybe I'm gonna just go back and hide.

What is wrong with you people?!

Afraid to look ugliness in the face?!

Well, here! Look at it! It's ugly, isn't it?!

You look at it!

Hello.

You look at it!

Hi.

Look at it! Look at it!

Look at it! Look at it!

I want all of you to look at it!

[screaming]

[beeping]

Don't worry, SpongeBob. Everyone gets itchy,

swollen skin rash now and then.

Just don't scratch it and it'll go away...

Eventually.

[gasping]

There! Outta sight, outta mind!

I won't let this minor setback hinder my fry cooking!

[humming]

Now nothing can distract me from frying up those patties.

Except maybe this unbearable itchiness.

Must... stop... scratching!

SpongeBob- [screaming]

[groaning]

SpongeBob!

Huh? Oh, hi, Squidward.

SpongeBob? Why are you all puffy?

All what-y?

Your skin, SpongeBob! What's wrong with your skin?

Oh, that. It's nothing really, Squidward.

Just a little blemish, that's all!

[screaming]

[panting]

That's no blemish!

Help... me.

Oh, I'll help you, alright!

[dialing]

[ringing]

S.W.A.T. Team.

We'll be right over!

[sirens blaring]

Hold it right there!

Dear Neptune's trident!

This is the most severe case of Ick yet.

Stop, you fool! Do you want to get infected?

This is a job for the Hazmat division.

Get back! I said, "Get back!"

Back, I say!

[sirens blaring]

What's going on, Squidward?! [screaming]

[beeping]

Huh, that's funny.

Someone turned the mountain upside down.

[screaming]

SpongeBob! Land on your bottom!

It'll cushion the impact of the fall!

Like this?

No, your other bottom!

Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

Not until 4:00.

[shattering]

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

Do it again. I wasn't looking.

Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus

has made a full recovery.

My what has a what now?

Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing.

It took 20 hours to put it all back together.

We actually ran out of staples and had to use a glue stick.

Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, luck boy.

But from now on, I'd like you to be more careful.

One more injury like that and you could wind up

like that poor creature there. In the Iron Butt.

Awe, man. It itches.