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  • [horn blowing]

  • Time for boating school. Let 'er rip, Gary.

  • What do you say, Mrs. Puff? Let's get this party started.

  • I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff, I know what I did wrong.

  • Don't worry, Mrs Puff, I got it this time.

  • No, SpongeBob, not again.

  • Oh. Oh, no, we're airborne!

  • It's a good thing too. One more crash

  • and you would've popped for sure.

  • Here, let me take that wheel.

  • No, SpongeBob, don't touch that- Oh, oh!

  • [laughing]

  • This is great! You and me in school together.

  • So where's the teacher?

  • You're looking at him.

  • You... are the teacher to my pupil?

  • This isn't art class, it's heaven.

  • Yeah. Grab a little piece of heaven

  • and let's get on with it.

  • I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles.

  • Okay, since you're telling me you have no prior training,

  • we'll have to start from square one.

  • Or should I say circle one?

  • [laughing]

  • Am I going too fast for ya, SpongeBob?

  • How's this, Squidward?

  • What the? How the? A perfect circle?

  • Do it again. Show your process.

  • Well, first I draw this head.

  • Then I erased some of the more detailed features.

  • And one, two, three, a circled, uh, thingy.

  • Give me that!

  • Forget the circles.

  • Ooh, nice one, Squidward. Let me try.

  • [laughing] Lookie, Squidward.

  • It's you and me playing Leapfrog.

  • That's you on the bottom.

  • Give me that.

  • There is nothing artistic about Leapfrog.

  • What are you doing now?

  • I call it Rippy Bits.

  • You take a bunch of old ripped up paper

  • and you make a new picture out of it.

  • See, you're on top this time.

  • Say, "cheese".

  • And here's the last one.

  • Now, just give a nice smile to the camera, SpongeBob.

  • Wait! Can I go home and change first?

  • No time. Say, "Cheese".

  • Ch-cheese, cheese, cheese.

  • Quit that moody brooding. This will clean you up.

  • Don't snivel like that. A winner doesn't snivel.

  • Try putting this on.

  • [crying]

  • This is it.

  • Now you are looking like a winner.

  • [honking]

  • [crying]

  • SpongeBob, please stop crying so he can take the picture.

  • Do not worry, Mrs. Puff. I brought Pearlie.

  • I can't stop crying!

  • This will make you smile, yeah, whether you want to or not.

  • Now say, "Cheese".

  • Cheese.

  • There I am.

  • Hey, I don't look so bad after all!

  • This Cadet SquarePants is your scooper,

  • the most vital weapon in the milkshakers' arsenal.

  • It's clear that most of you understand

  • the fundamentals.

  • Now it's time to see what you can do.

  • Cadets, man your milky, milky stations.

  • A few more bells and whistles than I'm used to

  • but I think I can work with this.

  • [beeping]

  • Oh dear.

  • Fantastic! Nice and creamy mouth feel.

  • [beeping]

  • SquarePants appears to be having problems again.

  • Duke, please explain where he has gone wrong.

  • Sir yes sir!

  • Sir, he is attempting to use

  • the upper control panel to mix, sir.

  • Every cadet knows these are telemetry functions

  • and that all blending controls are on the lower panel, sir.

  • Huh, that's right, how silly of me.

  • Mr. Krabs was right,

  • milkshaking sure has changed over the years.

  • Very good, but how does it taste?

  • Maybe we need to get back to basics.

  • [bell ringing]

  • Lunchtime, eh, boating buddy?

  • I'll have to eat over here, just like back in grade school.

  • Oh, Squidward,

  • You got any extra mustard in there?

  • [screaming]

  • Mmm, bon appétit, Squiddy.

  • [toilet flushing]

  • [groaning]

  • You've ruined my morning, you've ruined my lunch,

  • and you're ruining my--!

  • [groaning]

  • [bell ringing]

  • Okay, class, it's time for our behind the wheel lesson.

  • Squidward, you'll be riding with SpongeBob.

  • Yeah, I never saw that coming.

  • Now we're going to take this nice and slow.

  • SpongeBob, what do we do when pulling away from the curb?

  • Step on the gas.

  • Good, nice and easy. Now, let's slowly-

  • [screaming]

  • SpongeBob, look out!

  • SpongeBob, give me that wheel!

  • I got it! I got it!

  • Don't! Just, let go of it!

  • Oh!

  • Hooligans!

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • Do you want to learn how to drive or what?

  • Yes, sir! I'm ready to drive!

  • What do you think you're doing?

  • Ready for my test, sir.

  • You're not ready to drive yet until you learn that first.

  • This is the most grueling driving course ever devised.

  • You will learn every turn, bump, and crack on it.

  • You'll start out crawling it.

  • Crawl?

  • Hup two. Hup two. Hup two. Hup two.

  • Left turn. Crack. Bump. Nickel. Hey a nickel!

  • Keep your eyes on the road, cadet.

  • [gasping] PEBBLE!!

  • Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa- whoa-whoa-whoa!

  • [screaming]

  • Wow!!

  • [screaming] Whoa!

  • [screaming] Whoa!

  • [screaming]

  • Whew!

  • I'm ashamed of you, cadet. Tripped up by a wee pebble.

  • What are you supposed to be learning in my class?

  • How to drive, sir?

  • Affirmative.

  • But before you learn to drive, you must learn to crawl.

  • And then you learn to walk and then you learn to run.

  • But before you learn to walk, you must learn to crawl.

  • I want you to crawl!

  • Sir, yes, sir!!

  • Now get out there!

  • Hut! Hut!

  • Every good boater needs to know his vehicle inside and out.

  • Here, go take that boat apart.

  • I'm impressed, son. Put it back together again!

  • [laughing] Oh, that'll be easy.

  • Are you sure?

  • Um, yeah.

  • You just put the jig-a-mahoos on the poo-hicky and uhh...

  • I might need a couple minutes.

  • [snoring]

  • It's ready, sarge!

  • Jumpin' jellyfish!

  • In one day, I've gone from good noodle

  • to bad egg.

  • It's all stupid Patrick's fault.

  • I hate you, Patrick.

  • Well, I hate you more.

  • I'd hate you no matter what.

  • Yeah, well, I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you.

  • I'd hate you even if, uh... mm, I'd hate you

  • even if the light bulb keeping Roger alive went out.

  • Huh?

  • I'm sorry I called you a stupid star!

  • I'm sorry I got you in trouble and got you moved to the back

  • of the class and got your good noodle star removed

  • and shot spitballs...

  • I'm sorry your apology is so long.

  • Me too, now let's save Roger!

  • I'll keep him warm and you get a light bulb

  • from the supply closet.

  • Light bulb!

  • But why does it have to be so far away?

  • [yodeling]

  • I'm coming, SpongeBob!

  • Oh, where's Patrick? Forget it, I've got to get Roger warmth!

  • The light bulb!

  • Without its warmth, Roger will die!

  • Roger!

  • Without him, the light bulb will have nothing to warm!

  • We did it, Patrick, we saved Roger's life!

  • Good job, boys.

  • I saw the whole thing

  • from behind my one-way chalkboard

  • and I couldn't be happier with your team work!

  • I've decided to give you each one gold star.

  • Okay, class, it's time to take our final exam.

  • Please have your pencils ready.

  • Pss. Hey, boating buddy, if you need any help,

  • I've taken this test hundreds of times.

  • How many times do I have to tell you?

  • I am not your buddy. I don't need your help.

  • And I don't need you. Ever!

  • Now, just kindly let me take this stupid test

  • so I can get out of here

  • and never have to see you again for the rest of my life.

  • Okay, Squidward, if that's the way you want it.

  • Thank you.

  • [groaning]

  • Um. Ha ha.

  • Three more minutes class.

  • SpongeBob.

  • SpongeBob, I need your help.

  • Two more minutes.

  • SpongeBob, please, this is important.

  • You said you didn't need my help, Squidward

  • and that you didn't need me.

  • No. No, I didn't. I never said that.

  • I don't need your help and I don't need you.

  • Jerk.

  • All right, I said it but that was before.

  • Before what?

  • Before... before...

  • One more minute, class.

  • Before we were... boating buddies.

  • Yay!

  • Okay, class, time's up. [bell ringing]

  • Time can't be up.

  • I didn't get a chance to fill in a single answer.

  • What am I supposed to do?

  • You do the same thing that everybody else does

  • who fails the test.

  • You take it again next week.

  • Next week?!

  • Don't worry, Squidward.

  • I've never gotten one answer right on this test,

  • but we'll meet again next week at Mrs. Puff's Boating School.

  • [bell ringing, Squidward screaming]

[horn blowing]

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