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  • Ah.

  • Ah.

  • By the all seeing eye, ye are worthy, we are not.

  • What are you two idiots doing?!

  • Secret ritual.

  • To inaugurate you as president.

  • Me, president of Bikini Bottom?

  • I knew the people would come to their senses.

  • No, silly.

  • Not the president of Bikini Bottom,

  • - even better. - Better?

  • You're the president of... the secret Royal Order

  • of the Good Neighbor Lodge.

  • The what?

  • Is this some stupid club you two made up?

  • [gasping]

  • [laughing]

  • Maybe.

  • [laughing]

  • Ah

  • Ah

  • Figaro, Figaro, figa...

  • It's so beautiful.

  • Ro

  • ♪ O-o-o ♪

  • That's the most wonderful singing I've ever heard.

  • [crying]

  • ♪ O-o-o ♪

  • What's this? Can it be?

  • My lodge robes. I'm back in a lodge.

  • I gotta try 'em on. Huh? This can't be right.

  • These aren't my cephalopod robes.

  • [laughing]

  • They sure aren't.

  • They're your uniform for your new lodge.

  • Welcome to the first official meeting of...

  • the Feather Friends.

  • Feather Friends?

  • Somebody already had Feather Buddies.

  • Yeah, those Feather Buddies better hope

  • they don't run into us in a dark alley.

  • [chattering]

  • [everyone] Blah, blah, blah...

  • People, people settle down.

  • Okay, now, how many of you have played

  • musical instruments before?

  • Do instruments of torture count?

  • No.

  • Is mayonnaise an instrument?

  • No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

  • Horseradish is not an instrument, either.

  • Boat Smarts with Mrs. Puff.

  • This driving safety film is brought to you

  • by C.O.B.B.U.T.K.S.B.S. P.O.T.R.A.O.O.B.A.T.

  • Citizens of Bikini Bottom united to keep SpongeBob SquarePants

  • off the road and out of boats altogether.

  • Good day, future motorists.

  • I'm Mrs. Puff, state accredited driving instructor.

  • Today we'll be discussing the differences between a driver

  • with boat smarts...

  • Ripping good day for a spot of driving.

  • And a driver without boat smarts.

  • Hey, Squidward, look what I can do with my feet.

  • [groaning]

  • I can't believe I fell for such a phony!

  • Oh, well, time to move on. Guess I don't need

  • my Kenny the Cat Fan Club membership card anymore.

  • Or these getting Kenny the Cat posters.

  • Oh, Kenny, how could you? You were my idol.

  • You know, I should really talk about this with someone,

  • or I might get depressed.

  • [panting]

  • Welcome everyone to the Secret Anchor Arm Wrestling Club.

  • Oh, yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

  • Give it up, old man.

  • You're nothing but a soft shelled Krabs.

  • [screaming]

  • [cheering]

  • Yeah!

  • [phone chiming]

  • Yeah? Who's calling me?

  • Hey, Will, it's Patchy the Pirate

  • president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club

  • in Encino, and I am throwing a little TV special for him.

  • Oh, really? Cause I'm president of the SpongeBob Fan Club

  • Tarzan a Chapter and I'm throwing a TV show, too.

  • So get in line.

  • What?! You can't do that.

  • Can't I? Well, guess what I'm doing.

  • I must know the secret.

  • For the last time, SpongeBob, no!

  • Come on, just a peek!

  • Never!

  • [gasping]

  • So, it's come to this.

  • And to think we joined the Best Friends Forever Club.

  • Well, I'll have you know that I am a member

  • of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom!

  • What did he say?

  • I don't know. Something about his nose.

  • Squidward, you and your nose will definitely not fit in.

  • Oh, what are you two zeros know about fitting in?!

  • Why, you should be begging me to join.

  • - Squidward! - Squidward, no, no!

  • - Stop! - Stop, please!

  • You can't join!

  • You can't join! You can't get in!

  • Well, this is stupid. There's no room up here!

  • That's what we've been trying to tell you.

  • We've been stuck up here for three days.

  • We told you you wouldn't fit in.

  • [groaning]

  • Man Ray.

  • The Dirty Bubble

  • [screaming, Dirty Bubble laughing]

  • And now playing for the dark side Barnacle Boy.

  • Barnacle Man!

  • Have been committing a series of crimes

  • throughout Bikini Bottom.

  • [laughing]

  • Shh.

  • [doorbell ringing]

  • [laughing]

  • I'll get you crazy kids!

  • These three have named their new alliance...

  • Otherwise known as EVIL. What can we do?

  • When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil?

  • Why am I asking you all these questions?

  • Do you have a dirty shell and hate bath time?

  • [meowing]

  • Of course you do.

  • That's why I must tell you about our limited time offer

  • for not four, not three, but one luxurious night

  • here at Club Shell. A perfect resort for snails.

  • [meowing]

  • Don't try to pinch yourself. This could be...

  • [SpongeBob] Gary, the bath is ready.

  • ...all yours!

  • Now I know what you're thinking, but I got you covered.

  • A temporary shell will be provided for you to wear

  • while yours is being cleaned.

  • And all of this is free of charge, of course.

  • [SpongeBob] Gary, the bath is ready!

  • [humming]

  • Hi, Mrs. Puff!

  • I'm not here.

  • Oops. My mistake.

  • Hi, Plankton! Hi, Bubble Bass!

  • Hi, Mr. Mailman!

  • [both] We're not here.

  • Maybe I need glasses.

  • Fellow Sponge sufferers,

  • the 431st We Hate SpongeBob Club will now come to order.

  • And now our motto.

  • we don't mean SpongeBob any harm,

  • We just can't stand him.

  • [whimpering]

  • I'll never forget my initiation ceremony.

  • [whimpering]

  • [cheering]

  • [both] Yeah! Way to go!

  • [gasping]

  • SpongeBob? Patrick? Did you follow me here?

  • - Hello? - Yes? Can I help you?

  • I'm here about the happiness. I'll be moving in now.

  • Are you alone?

  • No. I mean, yes.

  • There's nobody with me. Yes, peace and quiet.

  • Are you now or have you ever been a sponge?

  • - No. - What about a--

  • No, no starfish.

  • Just a regular, normal, peace loving...

  • [rumbling]

  • [creaking]

  • [music playing]

  • [laughing]

  • Heaven at last.

  • Krabby Patty?

  • Yeah, that's right.

  • Well, anything this fun and delicious can't be good.

  • What would this world be if everyone convorted

  • in such a manner?