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  • [grunting]

  • [grunting]

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • Forget the Chum Bucket, this is personal.

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • No! My name's not Rick!

  • I don't like you.

  • I don't like you more.

  • I never liked you!

  • I a thousand times never liked you!

  • - Pink! - Yellow!

  • Squidward, is my best friend In the world

  • Squidward is my best friend In the sea

  • [screaming]

  • Squidward

  • Loves Patrick More than SpongeBob

  • Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!

  • Um, I can fix this.

  • [growling]

  • So, uh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!

  • Yuck. That was disgusting.

  • Feel like I need to scrub myself.

  • [screaming]

  • Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for you.

  • Patrick, get out! And put some clothes on.

  • What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy?

  • [gasping]

  • Oh, ho, ho, so this is what I find, huh?

  • My best friend and my ex best friend

  • and... rubber bath toys!

  • Oh, yeah, well he was my friend first!

  • [screaming]

  • This can't be happening to me!

  • I mean, look at the way he's dressed.

  • Only somebody with holes drilled in their head

  • would wear that stuff. And how about this shape?

  • I mean, I've heard of barrel chested

  • but never box chested.

  • [laughing]

  • Hey, SpongeBob,

  • do you have any mascara I could borrow?

  • [chuckles] The boy wears makeup?

  • What a card.

  • [laughing]

  • Hey, Patrick! Patrick!

  • Aw, he said my name.

  • Wow. How'd you train him to do that?

  • [laughing]

  • Ow! He bit me.

  • Patrick, meet me in the kitchen.

  • Oh, I guess the dummy wants to have a private conversation.

  • [laughing]

  • A dumb one.

  • [laughing]

  • So, what's on your mind?

  • No, wait. I already know the answer.

  • Nothing. [laughing]

  • See? That's funny. Cause you're dumb.

  • Patrick, could you let up on the insults

  • just a little bit?

  • Oh, were those too complicated for ya?

  • I'll try dumbing them down a bit.

  • Patrick, I get the feeling that you think I really am dumb.

  • That's just what I'd expect you to say.

  • Dumb people are always blissfully unaware

  • of how dumb they really are.

  • Patrick Star, we need to talk.

  • Just one more minute, I gotta--

  • Don't "One more minute" me, Mr. Man.

  • Hey, I'm missing the coconut.

  • You haven't been helping at all with Junior!

  • We made a commitment and you're not doing your share.

  • You never do anything.

  • I changed his diaper.

  • Yeah, once.

  • He's only this big,

  • how many diapers could he possibly use?

  • Hmm?

  • Oh, that's not so much.

  • Hmm?

  • So?

  • Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?!

  • I had no idea. What kind of father am I?!

  • I'll make it up to you, buddy. I promise.

  • So, what's the plan for today?

  • No more fooling around.

  • From now on, I'm super dad.

  • I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time.

  • So make sure you save a big, old, stinky diaper

  • for me to change

  • and you can take the night off, pal.

  • Great, so I'll see you at six o'clock.

  • - Six o'clock. - Six o'clock.

  • - Six o'clock. - Six o'clock.

  • - Six o'clock. - Six o'clock.

  • Six o'clock.

  • [giggling]

  • Oh, boy, that was some party.

  • Oh, hey, SpongeBob. Hey Junior.

  • What? What?

  • Oh, nothing.

  • Oh, what a relief.

  • For a second, I thought you were mad at me.

  • Do you remember what you said to me this morning?

  • Something about root beer, right?

  • No.

  • Wait, wait, let me guess. I give up.

  • Does "You can take the night off, pal"

  • ring a bell?!

  • I don't need this.

  • What? Where do you think you're going?

  • I'm going back to work!

  • Work?!

  • [laughing]

  • He got hit in the head with two coconuts.

  • So, this is work?

  • You know, it's not as easy as it looks.

  • Sometimes I got to move the antenna.

  • Sometimes I lose the remote

  • and sometimes my butt itches real bad.

  • Oh, you poor, poor thing.

  • By the way, you forgot your briefcase!

  • Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime.

  • Overtime?!

  • Yeah overtime!

  • [arguing]

  • How ya like me now?

  • I like you this much.

  • Whoa!

  • Feel me.

  • Whoa! Oh!

  • Patrick?

  • Patrick! Are you okay?!

  • Question is... will you be?

  • [screaming]

  • [laughing]

  • No fair!

  • All fair in love and war, my friend/enemy.

  • Or should I say, my friendenemy.

  • Let's have some real fun.

  • [screaming]

  • What was that?

  • Come on. We've got to get out of here.

  • Grab the children!

  • [screaming]

  • Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game.

  • Jumping jellyfish! Oh!

  • [laughing]

  • I wasn't gonna do this, but you've left me no choice.

  • [gasping]

  • Let's beat it, dude.

  • [laughing]

  • Huh?

  • [groaning]

  • [groaning]

  • What happened?

  • I'll tell you what happened, Patrick.

  • I got carried away.

  • Me too.

  • Good night, SpongeBob.

  • Goodnight, rock mate.

  • [meowing]

  • Good night, Gary.

  • [snoring]

  • [Patrick snoring]

  • Oh, no. What the?

  • [snoring]

  • [snoring]

  • [Patrick laughing]

  • [Patrick snoring]

  • [snoring]

  • [snoring]

  • [snoring]

  • [snoring]

  • [snoring]

  • [mumbling]

  • Spiders! Spiders!

  • No, Patrick, no! Patrick, no! Watch out!

  • Oh! Stop! It's me!

  • [screaming]