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  • Wow. Look at this neato soda drinking hat.

  • [gasping]

  • It must've belonged to someone who was number one.

  • There's only been a handful of number ones

  • in the entire history of forever.

  • That's right, SpongeBob, and you're one of 'em.

  • Really?

  • This hat says, hey, I am number one,

  • and I let gravity do my drinking.

  • This hat was made for you, boy.

  • You were born to wear this hat!

  • [squealing]

  • [clucking]

  • Huh.

  • [mumbling]

  • Hmm.

  • [mumbling]

  • - Hello, numbskulls. - Hello, dodo!

  • You guys are so gullible.

  • See?

  • I did everything that attracts a sea bear, and nothing happened.

  • If sea bears really exists, why didn't one show up?

  • Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero

  • in a goofy fashion.

  • Oh, pfft. Sorry.

  • How silly of me?

  • You mean like this?

  • [laughing]

  • No. Like that.

  • [growling]

  • [screaming]

  • [roaring]

  • [screaming]

  • Well, actually, there was

  • a railroad convention in town last week,

  • and I bought myself this nifty Conductor's cap.

  • I have never seen a more ridiculous

  • looking object on top of anybody's head anywhere.

  • I don't now.

  • Suits my needs.

  • What else did you buy at this convention?

  • Your very own locomotive?

  • [laughing]

  • Yes.

  • Hey, man, you look like you've had a rough day.

  • How'd you like to chill out with a nice massage?

  • It's free.

  • Free, huh?

  • Free.

  • Eh.

  • Okay. Let's get this over with.

  • Remember, this is the cold blooded test.

  • Just take his temperature.

  • You got it best friend.

  • Don't call me that.

  • Boop.

  • [mumbling]

  • Don't do that!

  • Now. I can show you how the pioneers hitch-hiked.

  • [humming]

  • What the?

  • She's beautiful.

  • There once was a man from Nantucket.

  • [gasping]

  • Sorry, wrong one.

  • Wow! Thanks, SpongeBob!

  • These camouflage outfits should help us find out

  • what Squidward's Secret Wednesday secret is.

  • [laughing]

  • Patrick! Tee time, Patrick!

  • Patrick! Wake up!

  • Ready to lose?

  • Weather permitting, of course.

  • Aw! How are we supposed to golf in this downpour?

  • Our putters are getting waterlogged.

  • So, this is the kitchen.

  • Hmm.

  • This grill is not in very good shape.

  • Oh, we don't use grill.

  • We cook everything on the roller.

  • [screaming]

  • Good luck, kid.

  • [mumbling]

  • [sighing]

  • I can't believe it.

  • They kicked me out of the Cephalopod Lodge.

  • Do we get to join the lodge?

  • Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?

  • [gasping]

  • How did you know?

  • Psychic powers.

  • At last, I have found my calling.

  • And I am, Patrick Man! Defender of Bikini Bottom!

  • Come in, SpongeBob.

  • Hello.

  • Hey, I can hear you in my head.

  • This is great.

  • While I'm taking the test,

  • you can give me all the answers.

  • Wait a minute, Patrick.

  • Won't I look silly with this antenna coming out of my head?

  • Cool. State of the art jellyfish nets.

  • - Touch. - Don't touch.

  • Wow! The harpoon from Jellyfish, the movie!

  • - Touch. - Don't touch.

  • Look, Doctor Man O' War!

  • The guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived.

  • And now it only hurts when you touch it.

  • Ow!

  • Touch.

  • Do I have to follow you all day?

  • From now on you'll be twice as busy

  • and I expect you to wear two hats.

  • 'Cause along with your usual try cooking duties,

  • you're my lead reporter

  • for the new Krabby Khronicle.

  • Oh! My very own press badge!

  • That's right, boy.

  • And here's your very own camera.

  • See, you'll need it

  • to document all them juicy stories you're gonna write.

  • Excuse me, sir.

  • How do you think you'll do in the race?

  • Hello out there, Bikini Bottom.

  • I'm glad I can finally talk to my adoring fans on television.

  • Best of luck to you.

  • Oh. Excuse me, miss.

  • Look, here he comes!

  • Who?

  • Thank you, Mr. Ranger.

  • Yeah, thanks.

  • My balloon!

  • [gasping]

  • Wait!

  • Hold on. Stop that bus!

  • Oh, not again!

  • Just got an order from the boss.

  • Dump everything that isn't about fine dining.

  • Everything?

  • Everything.

  • Come on, come on, come on.

  • Quicker, quicker!

  • Jelly, jelly.

  • Let's go, let's go, let's go!

  • [mumbling]

  • Come on! Let's get moving.

  • Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?

  • You don't pay me. We don't even exist.

  • We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify

  • the abstract concept of thought.

  • [gasping]

  • [squealing]

  • [squealing]

  • [crying]

  • Well, everyone,

  • I hope this doesn't put a damper on things,

  • but I just checked and, well, it's just

  • that all my money is... gone.

  • Yodel-Ay-Hee-Hoo.

  • I'm good enough to join the Bikini Bottom Men's chorus.

  • I promise.

  • Yuck.

  • Perhaps Squidward didn't see me.

  • Figaro!

  • [coughing]

  • Figaro!

  • This giant pothole ought to get his attention.

  • Figa... oh!

  • Oh.

  • Oh barnacles!

  • What am I gonna do with this dip?

  • Patrick!

  • [screaming]

  • What are you two morons doing?

  • Waiting to watch the sunrise with you.

  • - At 3:47 in the morning? - Uh huh.

  • - In my bedroom? - We come here every morning.

  • You sneak into my house every morning?

  • Uh huh.

  • [mumbling]

  • It's our favorite pastime.

  • Tada!