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  • My name is Squidward. Can I take your order?

  • Hmm. Uh.

  • Oh, I'll have a, um... No.

  • Oh, maybe, no. Hmm. I'll have- No. Oh, maybe--

  • Are you planning on ordering today, sir?

  • I'll have a Krabby Patty.

  • How original?

  • And with extra onions.

  • Daring today, aren't we?

  • One Krabby Patty, extra onion.

  • One crying Johnny coming up!

  • First bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard,

  • pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes and bun,

  • in that order. One crying Johnny, up!

  • Whatever.

  • [babbling]

  • 12 Krabby Patties on wheat buns.

  • Bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun,

  • bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun,

  • bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun,

  • bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun,

  • bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun.

  • One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! Up!

  • Thanks, Farmer Brown. It's been a thrill serving you.

  • Can I get some extra salt?

  • We're all out.

  • Could you check?

  • No.

  • Let me guess, Tiny, a small salad?

  • I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe

  • on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles

  • with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry,

  • burn it, and let it swim.

  • We serve food here, sir.

  • Here we go. One of everything for Bubble Buddy.

  • [gasping]

  • Oh, no, Squidward, wait. There's cheese on these patties.

  • And?

  • Bubble Buddy's lactose intolerant

  • and can't eat cheese. What should we do?

  • We? How about you take these patties and--

  • Mr. Squidward?

  • Don't worry, Bubble Buddy,

  • Squidward will make a fresh batch.

  • What, is he allergic to bread too?

  • Actually, he doesn't like the crust.

  • And Squidward,

  • the ketchup should be under the patty.

  • And Squidward, the pickle should be on the left side.

  • And Squidward, you should- and Squidward-

  • and Squidward- and Squidward- and Squidward-

  • Here! One of everything!

  • No cheese, no crust pickles to the left,

  • four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce,

  • and farm raised tomatoes carnival style!

  • No, no, we're not going into the tacky Krusty Krab!

  • You're right, we're going through the drive-thru!

  • Triple Krabby Patty with five scoops

  • of ice cream, please.

  • [groaning]

  • Squidward, you see me struggling with this boat,

  • and you act like you don't care!

  • It's not an act.

  • [groaning]

  • I hate to do this to you,

  • Triple Krabby Patty with five scoops of ice cream,

  • but I have no choice.

  • No, no, stop! I don't like that!

  • Wow. Look at all the customers.

  • One Krabby Patty, hold the mayonnaise.

  • One Krabby Patty, hold the mayonnaise.

  • One Krabby Patty, hold the mayonnaise.

  • Thank you. Come again.

  • Braap!

  • I would like one Krabby Pat--

  • One Krabby Patty, hold the mayonnaise.

  • Braap!

  • Uh, actually, I want one with extra mayo.

  • [growling]

  • Order's up. Two Krabby Patties.

  • Oh, uh, yeah, I don't know.

  • Something wrong with the petty, sir?

  • [chuckles]

  • No. We just want something like, different.

  • Yeah, something like new.

  • - New. - New.

  • - New. - New.

  • - New. - New.

  • New.

  • Hey, we want something new too.

  • [everyone] New! New! New! New!

  • [chuckles] New, huh?

  • We've been waiting to test our, uh, our new menu, uh...

  • How'd you like to be the first to try it?

  • Yeah, we like being first.

  • Come with me, boy-o.

  • Whoa! What is this place?

  • It's me secret lab where I experiment on food.

  • Oh, Mr. Krabs, this looks like madness.

  • You think this is mad?

  • Ooh, wait til you see this!

  • [screaming] Yikes!

  • Howdy, SpongeBob.

  • Sandy, what are you doing down here?

  • I'm moonlighting as a molecular gastronomist.

  • What?! A maladowin-a-gas-a-whatalist?

  • Eugene here is paying me to science up his menu.

  • Look, I'm in a hurry. You have this special project?

  • Well, it's a work in process.

  • There it is! Your new patty!

  • Wait, no! You can't improve the Krabby Patty!

  • It's perfect perfection that cannot be perfected upon!

  • Yeah, right. Sensitive to time. Make me 200 of these, pronto!

  • Here you go, gentlemen. Two brand new patties.

  • Hmm. Huh?

  • - Hello? - No.

  • Sorry, sir, we're closed--

  • Ahoy there, Krusty Krab. How can I help you?

  • Pizza? Hmm. Of course, we have pizza.

  • - Uh, Mr. Krabs-- - A delivery?

  • Squid will bring it right over.

  • Mr. Krabs, we don't serve pizza.

  • Krabby Patties aren't slop.

  • Gotta be something they like in here.

  • No. No.

  • Nope.

  • No. Nope.

  • [sniffing]

  • Oh, no!

  • [screaming]

  • Ooh. Oh, now, lookie here. Night Patties.

  • Now you're getting the swing of it.

  • N-Night Patties?

  • Order up, people!

  • Alright!

  • Night Patties.

  • Tasty.

  • Smooth.

  • Smoky.

  • They match our purses.

  • They remind me of home.

  • Pretty Patties rule!

  • Welcome to the Krusty Towers, where our motto is,

  • "we shall never deny a guest

  • even the most ridiculous request."

  • Oh, that's great. I'd like a Double Krabby Patty

  • with no onions and extra pickles.

  • If you want a Krabby Patty,

  • you'll have to rent a room and order room service.

  • Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch.

  • And then I just cook it, like this.

  • Go on.

  • Why, what an interesting shape.

  • Are those for sale?

  • Why? Would you like to buy one?

  • Well, that would depend on the price.

  • Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?

  • Hmm. Sure, I suppose so.

  • How about double?

  • Now you're talking.

  • Krabby Patties again?

  • [sighing]

  • If only there were something else.

  • Hey, what you got there, Frank?

  • It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty,

  • but it's shaped like a wiener.

  • Well, that's sounds very interesting.

  • Yeah.

  • Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.

  • - Me too. - Me too.

  • Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!

  • [sizzling]

  • [whistling]

  • - SpongeBob. - Yeah, Squidward?

  • I need a Triple Krabby Supreme on a kelp bun.

  • And with extra sea pickle and- and burn it to a crisp, okay?

  • Coming right up.

  • Listen, Squidward, I want to apologize for before.

  • I was only trying to make you happy.