Oh, well, I needed to lose a little weight anyway.

Times up, SpongeBob.

[gasping] Burning.

Only 799 words to go.

[laughing]

No!

[screaming]

What have I done? Help! Help! My house is on fire!

[screaming]

SpongeBob, why?

Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?

Why didn't you just write your essay?!

Stop wasting time!

[gasping]

Maybe if you saw what was inside,

you'd know why it has to be secret.

Inside this very box is the most secret-y secret

in all of secret-dom and I am its sole witness!

It's a heavy burden, SpongeBob, but nobody must know

the mystery of the box. Nobody! Not even Squidward's house.

Sure is peaceful around here

since SquarePants became a sad sack.

I've read all the books and still nothing.

I guess I'll never laugh again.

O-o-oh. O-o-oh!

I really hate to see the little guy so sad.

But not as much as I hate to see him happy.

[laughing]

Later that same evening...

[SpongeBob crying]

I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh.

I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon.

[crying]

[mumbling]

[snoring]

[mumbling]

[snoring]

Not food.

[gasping]

Hanging cured meats. Exotic spices.

A breadbox overflowing with baguettes.

Yummy stuff everywhere! I'll start with the fridge.

Candied sea yams, pickled urchins, anemone pies,

a bucket of kelp slaw.... Et cetera. Ooh, more et cetera.

Oh, well, I needed to lose a little weight anyway.

[grunting]

Uh, come on. What's the deal?

[grunting]

[grunting]

Ooh, boy, how long was I out?

Ugh. Long enough for all this crude

to get stuck on my shell.

[sniffing]

Eww, nasty.

Ah. Let's get this show on the road.

Do do do do do do.

Well, there goes the neighborhood.

For the better.

So long, you big pink loser!

[laughing]

[yawning]

Ow.

[groaning]

Time for my pre breakfast snack.

Come on out yummy treat.

Smashy! Smashy! Smashy! Smashy!

[groaning]

Hey, where you going, rock? I don't want to move.

I wanna live next to my best friend Squidward

and the little yellow guy.

Huh?

You know what?

That Old Man Krabs wasn't such a bad dude after all.

[chuckles] Whoa.

Someone just crashed our new pad.

[groaning]

Yo, bro. Potato?

Oh, thanks, man.

[screaming] Hippies!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I have a ticklish core.

[laughing]

[sniffing]

[coughing]

[alarm sounding]

My Roast Ala Squidward!

Threat detected.

[screaming]

What's going on?

Threat detected. Code red! Code red!

[laughing]

It's like a carnival ride!

Run for your lives!

[grunting]

What the? What are you doing?!

Huh?

[screaming]

Fire!

Wow, Squidward's house is destroying the neighborhood.

We've got to turn this thing off.

Nope, not it.

Nope.

Nope.

That's not it, either.

This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot.

Hmm. Where to look?

Hmm. This off button seems suspicious.

We did it, Patrick.

[horn blowing]