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  • SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

  • And why aren't you in uniform?

  • It's about time you got here.

  • Here you go, Your Majesty.

  • -I can't drink that. -Why not?

  • Are you blind? Just look at it!

  • Here's your 20 bucks.

  • -Here's your glasses. -Thanks.

  • I'll take one executive treatment, my good man.

  • Here's your executive treatment!

  • Here you go.

  • Oh man! That looks executively delicious!

  • Carl, what are you doing

  • standing around at a time like this?

  • We're gonna be late for the big brainstorming meeting.

  • [Crowd chattering]

  • Save my sandwich for me, Squidward!

  • Squidward!

  • Ha! I'll save it, all right!

  • I'll just put it here in the circular file.

  • [Laughs]

  • What are you doing throwing away a perfectly sellable sandwich?

  • [Crowd chattering]

  • Nooo! Oh, nooo!

  • [Efforts]

  • [Crowd chatteting]

  • [Screams]

  • [Bubble soaking]

  • The bubbles are making me bigger!

  • More bubbles!

  • Argh! Ahh!

  • Thank you, Squidward!

  • I'm big enough to flip patties again!

  • Whoooah!

  • [Dramatic surprise]

  • [Dramatic scream]

  • [Crowd grumbling]

  • Mr. Squidward call the fire department!

  • No need to call them, Mr. Krabs.

  • [Efforts]

  • We'll be there in 5 minutes depending on traffic! Haha!

  • [Screams]

  • Ahhh!

  • Yucks!

  • I guess I gotta use good old-fashioned tentacle grease.

  • [Strong effort]

  • [Drilling sound]

  • All better! That should seal up that drafty gap

  • and kill the whistling, ha ha!

  • Well, thank you Dr. Squidward!

  • Say, without a gap, my voice sounds almost cool.

  • Testing, testing... one, two, three...

  • You know, with this voice I don't need whistling.

  • Oh! I've got to sing!

  • [Cheerful music]

  • [Humming]

  • [Snors]

  • Where is that heavenly voice coming from?

  • I must ...eh?

  • [Continues humming]

  • Oh! Blau fish! Does he has to ruin everything for me?

  • What a dreamy voice?

  • Wow! It really swings!

  • [Continues humming]

  • Hey everybody! Look! SpongeBob is cool now.

  • I'm ready!

  • You didn't

  • Mr. Squidward, aren't you going to compliment my outfit?

  • Ehm.. You look stunning!

  • Oh! You're so sweet!

  • -Where are my flowers? -Flowers? Oh! Well, they're...

  • ...Did you drop your lip liner?

  • [Glass breaking]

  • [Smothering]

  • I don't think that I dropped it...

  • My Squidward, you should have!

  • Oh but I wanted to!

  • Oh! you really shouldn't have! I'm very...I'm very...

  • [Sneeze]

  • ...very allergic to tulips.

  • Anyway, you're ready to go?

  • -Yuck! Go where? -To dinner, silly!

  • Oh, right! Dinner. I'll get my car.

  • [Boat machine sound]

  • -Hop in! -[Coughs]

  • What?

  • A gentleman always opened the door for a lady.

  • Oh! We are my manners?

  • [Seat belt fastening]

  • Alright, so...

  • [Efforts]

  • Oh! Come on!

  • -Could I help you with that? -No, I think I got it.

  • Stupid thing.

  • What are you... there!

  • [Giggles]

  • -Aha... Can we go now? -Yes!

  • -Great! -Right after I can go...

  • [Seat belt unfastening]

  • [Belt ring]

  • [Exhales]

  • [Seat belt fastening]

  • Oh, good thing I went.

  • I dont think I would have made it to the restaurant.

  • -Is something wrong Squidward? -No!

  • -Just hungry. That's all! -Great!

  • Well, I know a fabulous place we can go just head this way!

  • Wonderful!

  • -Hi Sponge Bob! -Hi how are ya?

  • Good. Just anybody gets a drink.

  • -Wonderful weather we're having. -It sure is.

  • OK, See you around.

  • Yeah! See ya! Ha ha! Oh my!

  • [Water sipping] I could get used to this.

  • [Classical music]

  • [Keyboard typing]

  • [Shooting sound]

  • [Cash register sound]

  • THREE WEEKS LATER...

  • There you are, Sir.

  • Oh! Yes, it's time again.

  • I didn't meaning to say this but...

  • I come to appreciate your demeanor lately.

  • you know, it's a funny thing, Squidward.

  • I smooth out the edges of my personality

  • and the rest has followed suit. Now I am utterly normal.

  • [Cheerful music]

  • [Chewing]

  • That ain't right. I'll never spend money here again.

  • Never?

  • Come on, guys. These patties ain't worth

  • the paper they were printed on.

  • Wait! Where are you going?

  • Sponge Bob! What are you doing back here?

  • You would expect the customers to eat this.

  • And now, thanks to you, they're leaving in boatloads.

  • [Crowd chattering]

  • Really, this thing is out of ink.

  • No, boy, you're missing the point.

  • You can't make crabby patties with inking paper.

  • You've got to put your heart into it, boy,

  • Now get back to making them patties the right way

  • and stop acting so dull.

  • But you called dull, I call normal.

  • Well, till you decide you start making patties

  • the way only you can, I want you out of my place.

  • [Crowd chattering]

  • [Gasps]

  • Oh!

  • Hi, guys!

  • Bob Sponge is that you?

  • Who you expected? Tiny Tim?

  • Wait, Wait! Big on me!

  • Dude! you're ripped!

  • Thank you!

  • I've been working out. Excuse me a second.

  • [Muscles stretching]

  • Anyone for the... juicebar?

  • Table for Hommina? I can seat you immediately.

  • -How did you do all this? -It was easy.

  • Once I cleared my mind.

  • -What about Krabs and Patrick? -Taken care of.

  • [Efforts]

  • Right this way, please.

  • Good evening, sir. From our menu type.

  • Might I recommend that crabby Newberg?

  • We take the finest cuts of aged, imported kelp.

  • Stuffed them with herbs from our garden.

  • Wrap them in parchment with our award winning shallot tapenade.

  • Slow roast them for 6 hours in our wood fired playfield oven

  • or kiva and served it with a garnish of Wilfred Koro

  • on a mahogany plank.

  • -This is fantastic! -Thank you, sir!

  • Pinch me, I must be dreaming.

  • Ouch!

  • If you need anything else, just call.

  • Sponge Bob, I can't thank you enough for all you're doing.

  • Fine dining and breathing are all I know how to do.

  • [Deep breathing]

  • It worked! I can't believe it!

  • Squilliam thinks I own a five-star restaurant.

  • Time to rub it in his face.

  • Well, Squilliam, I'm waiting.

  • All right, I admit it. Everything is fabulous.

  • The food, the atmosphere, everything is flawless.

  • In that case, I need you to read this.

  • -Squidward Tentacles... -And I need you to wear this.

  • Oh! Squiward Tentacles has the fanciest-

  • I'm sorry, one more time.

  • Squiward Tentacles has the fanciest restaurant

  • in Bikini Bottom.

  • And he does not suck eggs.

  • [Crowd cheering]

  • Squidward, I must tell you... Oh! Thank you.

  • What really won me over was your brilliant waiter.

  • It's as if all he knows is fine dining and breathing.

  • I must know your name.

  • -My name? -Yes, your name, son.

  • -Ehm...Beef Wellington? -No, your name.

  • Ah... ehm.. The fork on the left?

  • Heh. Stop joking. Tell him your name.

  • My name?

  • What's his name? I've got nothing on a name.

  • Come on, baby! What's the name?

  • [Panic shouting]

  • What his name?

  • Trust me, Squidward, I'm lookig for Bob Sponge.

  • Hi!

  • [Dramatic music]

  • How are you?

  • [Screams]

  • Sponge Bob! You're back to your square shape.

  • Wow! I guess Squidward normal look

  • scared me back to my original form.

  • Thanks, buddy! You saved my life.

  • Wonderful weather we are having.

  • It sure is, buddy. It sure is!

  • [Laughs]

  • Up, up and away! Up, up and away!

  • Oh my! This purse is so big and heavy!

  • Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that.

  • Oh! Help, help, help!

  • It's working!

  • Why are you here to rescue little on me.

  • Pain down. You could wait more made man,

  • or when everybody's nap is disturbed.

  • [Babbling]

  • [Trembling]

  • I won't give in your timeshare vacation scam.

  • Then give it to my fists.

  • [Effort]

  • [Effort]

  • [Growling]

  • [Slapping]

  • [Punching]

  • [Efforts]

  • [Kicking]

  • [Twisting]

  • [Punching]

  • [Screaming]

  • You're now in the soup now, Udon!

  • Hey, look at what you did to me!

  • You better fix my nose or you'll hear from my lawyer.

  • Are you sure?

  • Yeah... You'll be ugly again.

  • Yes, I'm sure.

  • Hmm...How to fix his nose?

  • What if you turn the bottle upside down,

  • maybe it will shrink it?

  • Patrick, that's brilliant!

  • Now, wait, don't...

  • -Didn't work. -Well, try it again.

  • Hmm. I think I'll just even him out. First, a bigger head.

  • Stop!

  • -Now his body is too small. -Right, too small.

  • Arms are too short.

  • Legs are too short.

  • Other arm.

  • Feet too small.

  • Teeth.

  • Belly button.

  • Smack! Perfect!

  • I look horrible!

  • Ew! [Coughs]

  • He inked!

  • Well, pardon my anatomy! What's happening?

  • All right!

  • What did you do to me?!

  • I know! I know! Um, made you a monster!

  • And a giant.

  • A giant monster!

  • I don't want to be a giant lumbering monster!

  • What will I do now?

  • That's easy! Play giant lumbering monster tag!

  • Yeah! Yeah! You chase us!

  • And we run around and scream like crazy!

  • Try and catch us, giant monster Squidward!

  • [Laughs]

  • SpongeBob, come back here!

  • [Screams] This is really fun.

  • [Screams] I know, We should do this more often.

  • [Screams]

  • A monster!

  • [Tugging]

  • [Screams]

  • [Crown screaming]

  • I'm ready! I'm ready-

  • Ah! What is this?

  • Curly tresses, goofy texture, itchy scalp... it's a wig!

  • Hi Patrick! How do you like my new look?

  • I'll save you!

  • Pa... trick... what are... you doing?

  • I'm saving you from that brain-eating alien

  • that's attacking your... head!

  • Patrick! the only thing attacking me is you.

  • -Oh, sorry. -It's okay.

  • [Bitting]

  • Why did you do that?

  • [Swallows and burps]

  • I thought it was a new type of cotton candy

  • you wear on your head.

  • Well, it's not, but that's an excellent idea.

  • -Then what is it? -It's my new look!

  • -I'm wearing a wig. -A wig?

  • [Laughs]

  • Oh! Oh, I can't stand!

  • [Deep breaths]

  • Oh boy!

  • Don't you think that's a little silly?

  • [Phone rings]

  • Oh man! It's time for my weekly condiment soak.

  • [Pouring mustard]

  • Do you mind?

  • Nice wig!

  • Thanks, I'm very fashionable today.

  • Hey SquareFashion, nice couture!

  • Why? Thank you!

  • Nice 'do, SpongeBob!

  • Yeah, where can I get one?

  • [Laughs]

  • Whoa-ho-ho! That wig really suits you.

  • [Laughs]

  • [Snors]

  • -Hi Squidward! -Ah! Who? What? Where? How?

  • Notice anything different about me today, Squidward!

  • Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh... huh?

  • -Nope. -I'm wearing a wig!

  • Oh yeah! How could I have missed it?

  • Can you believe I found it lying around in the street?

  • Am...azing!

  • If you want to after work we can go look for a wig for you.

  • I can't wait.

  • Wig away! Woo-hoo!

  • [Hair scratches]

  • Order up, Squidward!

  • Mr. Krabs!

  • I've served a lot of junk here but a hair patty?

  • -SpongeBob! -Yes, Mr. Krabs!

  • What in Davey Jone's locker is on your head, son?

  • Oh, that's my new wig, Mr. Krabs!

  • Well, take if off. The hair's getting into the patties.

  • Take it off? But I can't, Mr. Krabs.

  • My wig makes everyone so happy.

  • Happy?

  • Every since I've began wearing it,

  • everyone I see gets a big grin on their face.

  • I can imagine.

  • Oh, please let me keep it, Mr. Krabs.

  • Well, if it means that much to ya, you can keep it.

  • But you gotta weat a hairmet.

  • And if I see one more hairy patty,

  • your wig goes in the dumpster.

  • There you are, SpongeBob!

  • Are you ready for karate prac...tice?

  • I see you've noticed my new wig.

  • Pretty impressive, huh?

  • It's uh, great, SpongeBob.

  • [Laughs uncontrollably]

  • Glad you like it. I'll see you later, Sandy.

  • Two Krabby patties and a side order of looking good.

  • -Nice wig! -Like to keep in style, huh?

  • You know it.

  • Off to meet the queen, Sir Nedlaroy?

  • My name is SpongeBob and no, I am not meeting royalty.

  • You must be referring to my regal appearance.

  • [Stumbles]

  • [Crowd laughing]

  • Thank you all for your kind words.

  • I wish I could give you such nice wigs.

  • How 'bout a little off the top?

  • Yeah, your wig's big enough to go around.

  • This isn't good. Everyone's getting jealous.

  • Squidward, I'll be hiding in the ktiche if you need me.

  • Hide your shame, SpongeBob. Hide your shame.

SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

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