[groaning]

[groaning]

[screaming]

[groaning]

Now, don't move it till I say- Ow! Okay, it's on my foot.

Now, don't- Ow!

Okay!

Ow!

SpongeBob, I told you not to move until I said-

Ow!

Don't eat my patty!

[screaming]

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

[screaming]

Squidward, you saved the Krabby Patty!

Whoopie.

Now this driver with no regard for safety...

[screaming]

[screaming]

Well, at least he had his seat belt on.

[screaming]

Um, okay. Let me just memorize- Oh!

Hey, I wasn't ready.

Would you mind waiting until I--

Hang on. You're starting to look like your old self again.

Nope. Still too handsome.

It's still not working.

Maybe I'm not doing it hard enough.

Hang on a second. Let me--

[groaning]

[gasping]

Squidward, you're even more handsome now!

Now I have a captive audience.

[screaming]

♪ Aah ♪

[screaming]

♪ Me me, me, me, me ♪

Um!

[screaming] ♪ Aah ♪

Um, Squidward, could you keep it down, please?

Trying to find my starting pitch here.

[screaming] ♪ Aah ♪

[screaming]

I'm not here! This isn't happening!

[shivering]

[screaming]

Mirrors? Oh, that reminds me. I haven't adjusted this one yet.

Uh, can't see.

Oh!

[chuckles, screaming]

Ouch.

[beeping]

Ow!

♪ There once was a dragon So handsome and smart ♪

♪ He let me go free For he had a big heart ♪

Everyone beeth a critic.

Coast is clear. Squidy, you are a genius.

Ouch! What the? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon.

I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket.

And now for the mattress.

I should've guessed.

[screaming]

[growling]

[screaming]

[growling]

[screaming]

Squidward, are you okay?!

No.

I'll cool you off Quickster with one of my water balls.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Aha!

Huh? No, no, no, no. I'm not the Quickster.

I'm Captain Mag... ma.

[neighing]

What the?

Hey, Squidward!

Still riding to work on a machine, I see.

Don't say anything, Squidward. Remember your karma.

What? [groaning]

[groaning]

I'm going to go somewhere far away,

somewhere far away from those two.

Watching public television on my TV. Bah!

They wouldn't know real culture, even if it hit them

like a truck full of cement. Oh!

[groaning]

[groaning]

[groaning]

[buzzing]

[groaning]

[screaming]

Praise the magic conch!

Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman

in his own lair?

It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you.

I-I... No, I-I don't.

Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship

and being lazy and all?

[chuckles] I never said that.

Insulting a man's ship be worse than insulting his mother.

No, no, wait. It was his mother you said was dirty,

not his ship.

[screaming]

Ow.

You're next.

[screaming]

That was a close one.

Welcome back.

[screaming]

That was a closer one.

Welcome back.

[screaming]

Hey, how come when they act up,

all they get is the welcome wagon?

If you ask me, it's-- [screaming]

So are you gonna try that again?

Probably.

[screaming]

How about now?

Um.

No. No, they're not. Phew.

[screaming]

Holy fish paste!

Get it off me! Get it off me!

[panting]

Don't you know how to work that thing?

Uh, I can do it.

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Stop!

A grape, fresh from the vine, your ghostliness.

Mm mm mm.

A banana peeled to your liking, your incorporealness.

One watermelon...

fresh from the manure field, your spookiness.

[laughing]

[laughing]

[buzzing]

Ow.

[grumbling]

[babbling]

[screaming]

[babbling]

People talk loud

when they want to act smart, right?

Correct!

So if we play loud, people might think we're good.

Everybody ready? And a one and a two,

and a one two, three, four.

Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly,

no one can hear us.

Hey, Squidward, you want me to cast out

over here so you can watch me?

How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?

Okay.

Hey, watch where you're swinging that.

SpongeBob, be careful with--

[screaming]

Take him down, boys.

Ow!

Ooh. Oh!

This oughta fix him. Haha!

Oh, you mean this pie.

I was saving it in my pocket for us to share.

Let's eat. Oops.

Ow.

Squidward! How many are you eating?!

Squidward!

[laughing]

Squidward, you can eat all those patties at one time!

Squidward!

What's going to happen? Am I going to blow up?

No worse. It'll go right to your thighs.

My thighs?

And then you'll blow up.

[siren blaring]

Yeah, I remember my first Krabby Patty.