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  • Here's the deal: Everyone is rejected at some point, and it hurts...

  • Badly!

  • I mean, look, Billy Joel has built his whole career on singing about rejection.

  • And feeling studies have shown that rejection is really not that far removed from actual physical pain.

  • Today on WellCast, we took our viewer's suggestion.

  • Thanks for the awesome idea, Ken Jackson!

  • Today, we're going to be looking into social rejection.

  • We're gonna examine why being suddenly shunned from a group of peers or friends is damaging your psyche.

  • And give you our 3-step take-back-your-life-method for remaining healthy, happy, and in control.

  • If you're upset after some form of social rejection, say your friends have stopped talking to you or your coworkers are giving you the cold shoulder, that's totally normal.

  • Put simply, a negative reaction to social exclusion, is ingrained in humans because being part of a social community has so many perks.

  • Humans are hardwired to feel pain when excluded.

  • It's how we stay alive, and it's not just psychological pain either.

  • Take a 2003 study done by neuroscientists at UCLA.

  • These researchers simulated social exclusion with the computer game in which the participants played catch with what they believed to be other humans.

  • When this virtual game of catch became a virtual game of monkey in the middle,

  • these participants who were hooked up to an MRI exhibited activity in the section of the brain that's usually associated with dire physical pain.

  • So science has told us what we basically already know: It really really hurts to be excluded.

  • But like we said, being rejected?

  • Well, that's a part of life.

  • So what do we do?

  • How do we stop from feeling so crummy when we're left out?

  • The best way to counter the pain of rejection is to seize control in deciding how to react to it.

  • And this brings us to our WellCast exercise.

  • Taking back your life triathlon.

  • Step 1: Beef up your self-esteem!

  • Studies have shown that when cut-off from a social group, people with low self-esteem can sink into physical sickness, depression, and a storm of other maladies.

  • The clear fix is to build your self-esteem right now!

  • Easier said than done, we know!

  • And it's hard to stay away from negative irrational thoughts.

  • But try to think about your situation in a logical rather than emotional manner.

  • In your WellCast journal; write down your three biggest accomplishments in life.

  • The goal here is to not define yourself by one upsetting event but learn to define yourself by your accomplishments, your life experience.

  • Look at that list!

  • Believe in who you are.

  • And know your self-worth.

  • Accomplishments are no easy feat.

  • Seriously!

  • And trust me, you can rise above all of this negativity.

  • Step 2: Treat your injuries!

  • The emotional pain you're feeling right now is almost indistinguishable from physical pain in your brain.

  • So why not treat it as such?

  • You're in recovery.

  • And scientists say that it’s crucial to maintain good physical health during times of emotional stress.

  • Work on getting an hour more of sleep a night.

  • Map out your meals ahead of time, and make sure you're getting fruits and vegetables.

  • Exercise 30 minutes a day.

  • It'll release endorphins in your brain which will promote a sense of well-being.

  • The healthier you stay, the higher your mood will peak, we promise.

  • Step 3: Get proactive!

  • Think of this as a great opportunity to make new friends that you have more in common with.

  • Look for new social circles.

  • Join clubs, team sports, youth groups.

  • Go after anything that piques your interest.

  • Use an excuse to practice that new-found self-confidence, and really go all-out to meet new people.

  • Odds are, you'll find a group of friends with whom you will fit right in.

  • Alright, let's recap!

  • By taking control of your life – a control you thought you lost when you were socially rejected.

  • You're less likely to be emotionally bogged down by what happened.

  • You can do that by working to raise your self-esteem, taking care of yourself physically, and reaching out to form new friend groups.

  • Did these tips work?

  • Tweet us @watchwellcast.

  • Email us at watchwellcast@gmail.com or leave a comment down below.

  • We'll see you next time.

Here's the deal: Everyone is rejected at some point, and it hurts...

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