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  • You know, I've never understood how, um, imagining the audience naked

  • was supposed to make you less nervous.

  • Honestly I'm just uncomfortable right now.

  • Especially with Mr. Wardle.

  • Um, okay.

  • To ensure clear communication with this "social media generation",

  • hashtags and pop-culture references will be used.

  • #you'rewelcome.

  • Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

  • Today is an exciting day:

  • today I'm going to give you a speech.

  • Now, graduates, I don't know if you know me, but I'm Chase.

  • We went to High School together.

  • That was good times, follow me on Twitter.

  • And I want to give a big congratulations to everyone

  • --including myself--

  • for being here today.

  • The world we live in is plagued with dangers:

  • Ebola,

  • ISIS,

  • Global Warming,

  • facial acne.

  • And despite all the odds,

  • we still managed to graduate, so let's give us a big round of applause.

  • It was only three years ago that we came to the labyrinth known as Weber High.

  • As young, timid sophomores we found ourselves lost in its halls

  • like they were the changing stair cases of Hogwarts.

  • We danced to lyrics we did not understand in the song "Gangnam Style".

  • We said "YOLO" and "cray-cray" as if

  • we were supposed to.

  • Thank goodness we have "yeet" now.

  • We anticipated our cataclysmic doom at the end of 2012.

  • And back then, Weber High School had no windows.

  • Oh wait, it still doesn't.

  • Ooh.

  • I know, I know, it was a cliché joke but it was still necessary,

  • #sorrynotsorry.

  • Though nervous as sophomores, we started getting a hang of things,

  • and Junior year for many of us brought experience,

  • and for many more of us it meant Stage 1 Senioritis.

  • And now, here we are: done with High School!

  • As Charles Dickens put it, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

  • But now we are through with the stressful days of AP and ACT testing.

  • We have raised tens of thousands of dollars for Quarters & Cans,

  • and inhaled hundreds of pounds of baby powder during football.

  • We have survived "WHS Screenshots".

  • And last but not least, we have realized that we are the most attractive class ever.

  • As our Student Body President, Mikah Meyer, has observed, quote,

  • "One might say we've aged well."

  • And now as seniors listening to me deliver this brilliant graduation speech, we are through,

  • afflicted and overwhelmed with Senioritis.

  • Now at the end of our careers as students, we have an opportunity:

  • now is our time to take on the world, and to find and pursue our passions;

  • to quote unquote, "Leave a Legacy."

  • William Shakespeare, and also Channing Tatum, once said,

  • "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."

  • In life, we can't always count on being born great, or having greatness thrust upon us,

  • but always, always remember that the opportunity to achieve greatness

  • is within our grasp.

  • Keep in mind that many of our social and political leaders and heroes started their lives

  • as an average person;

  • as just one of you and me.

  • Despite the failures and mistakes we will make, and although me may be "average",

  • we find that the average can achieve greatness, whether recognized by the world

  • or just a few.

  • Greatness comes from our friends reaching out to us,

  • those who go out of their way to be thoughtful;

  • the "unsung heroes".

  • If there's anything you take from today, remember that to "leave a legacy" and to "achieve greatness"

  • is not to get money and recognition,

  • it's to leave those with whom you cross paths

  • with a little more happiness and hope.

  • Our time here together as a senior class will not be remembered by grades,

  • popularity, likes, or favorites,

  • but by our relationships.

  • The kind of person you were.

  • These are legacies,

  • the kind we must leave.

  • Class of 2015, it's been a #splendid 3 years with you,

  • and from the bottom of my heart

  • I wish you all the very, very, very best.

  • Thank you.

You know, I've never understood how, um, imagining the audience naked

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