Sometimes when I come and take my washing out, if it's a sunny day, I'll just come and sit in the sun for a little bit.

Just have a a little sun cleanse also at the back of my mouth is huge.

Oh my God, Good morning.

It is saturday.

I'm making noodles.

She's kind of like a nostalgia thing.

You're really craving it lately.

But when I was a kid, my mom, it's just the easiest thing to make.

It was noodles, baby peas and pink salmon.

As a kid.

I found a very plain taste.

So I'd always add like, oh, it adds so much tomato sauce.

Um the pink salmon in japan is actually really expensive.

So I just wanted a normal salmon today and it looks really intense.

It's like all bones all just mushed up in there.

I mean, hopefully it tastes good because you know, that would be great if I could save money here.

Welcome to vlog Miss.

Uh Miss.

I'm just doing week long videos.

I did film yesterday.

Yesterday is technically the first day, but I had an audition and stuff and I couldn't even really feel comfortable filming there.

And I don't know, it just, it didn't work out so well, but today was my first day off.

Well, it's not off.

I have to do work, but my first day at home in a couple of weeks.

So it's really nice.

It's I'm just cleaning, doing my laundry.

All this kind of stuff.

Just, just getting back into my body and like being a human again.

I might try some of the salmon.

Oh my God.

It's mostly bones?

Mm hmm.

I mean, I'll use it today, but I don't think it's very good.

It's so much cheaper than the pink salmon.

That's so disgusting.

It's actually gross.

But yes, so today I'm just doing a bit of home stuff and I'm also just gonna be editing.

I have a video that needs to come out today.

Um That's a sponsored video.

So I gotta edit that, send it off in the evening.

Just a bunch of noodles and vegetables.

And I'm gonna just chill for a little bit before I get down and start working.

Also.

Probably gonna call my my boyfriend has been some Visa problems.

So he can't arrive when we thought he was gonna arrive.

But he should be arriving sometime this month.

So that's gonna be the big thing of vlog Mazz.

Just waiting to find out when he's going to get here because he should arrive sometime this month.

He's got him, Yeah, let's go on an adventure this month because I've got some really exciting stuff happening in a big change in the future.

So that's what you guys about.

But first I'm gonna chill and need these noodles.

Alright.

Sugar, butter, vanilla, egg, flour soda and chocolate.

Okay.

Six.

Oh, this is great.

Alright, I'm just gonna film myself mixing stuff.

I wanna maybe include audio.

Would you rather be quiet?

Well, it just depends like I don't mind?

Including your voice.

Yeah, I mean, I can just not be weird.

Be weird.

How many servings?

How many cookies?

This is too much.

I was like one egg.

This will be fine.

Why do I, why did I measure it by?

How many eggs were in it?

This 48 cookies you with me?

No, I can't eat 28 cookies.

I can't, I'm gonna use the fun thing because I want to see if it works.

It's like, it's like, I don't like this too much.

It's too thick.

One more cup.

Mhm.

Okay.

I made some cookies.

So what are you going to tell the Youtube world that I was delayed?

I said it was starting this vlog.

Alright, that sucks.

It was such a short thing until it wasn't, yep.

If if we get it this week, like the start of this week, we can do the 16th If it's later than that.

Well we can do the 23rd after that You'll be the 28th visit.

So I just got off the phone with my bye friend after we chilled for a bit.

It was really nice because we don't actually get the chance to to talk like Skype and stuff very often.

So it's really nice to just chill and now I have to edit.

It's my job for the day.

I got to, it's going to be here editing for awhile.

So it's not gonna be very exciting.

But I'll check in with you guys occasionally.

Maybe go up and get my washing soon and just relax because it's pretty chill today and I don't have to be in school.

Yeah.

The moon.

Holy crap.

It's so big.

And it's right there.

I'm just uploading a video to send to get it checked.

Two minutes left till it's uploaded.

Come on.

Focus on my growth face When I'm stressed, I like scratch and touch my face.

I know I shouldn't do that.

But that's just a habit that I am currently trying to stop.

It's really bad.

But yeah, I'm gonna get this done.

I'm going to go have a shower, get ready for bed and go to sleep.

Happy sunday everyone.

I'm just going to clear out some drawers so that my boyfriend can, you can have some places to put his clothes.

This was supposed to be like a fun day where I like organized the whole house, get it ready for a for him.

But because things have been delayed, it's a bit of a difficult day where I'm feeling, it's hard to get motivated and do stuff.

I'm still gonna keep looking forward to the future.

And so I'm going to clear out the drawers that he's got somewhere to put his, put his stuff.

What's in there in these drawers.

So much crab.

He's so cute.

I have so many of these like tiny plush ease that I don't want anymore.

Um and I don't know what to do with them.

Okay.

I got the drawers cleaned out.

You now have to find a place to put all of this stuff.

Mm hmm.

Yeah, I'm sorry if I get mad, I'm just going to be really scared and like I'm not going to know what's going on, how to do it.

You're gonna fall down a lot.

But that's okay.

I'm really scared.

I'm like a very gentle hill.

It's too bright also hurts so much and I'm just dying in bed.

I can't get up.

It's really hard right now.

I know this is supposed to be fun and everything and it will be, but like just right now it's just waiting.

Just not knowing when my boyfriend's gonna get here.

Mhm.

I know I'm going to get on with my own life and everything, but we had plans and I have like a holiday still booked that.

We might be able to make it for, He might not, we don't know.

You know, we're supposed to have all this time to like help him get used to Japan and like I have a bit more of a holiday before going to school and everything, But yeah, at this point we don't know if he'll make it for christmas and I'm trying to think about it.

Trying to just like, just get on with it and be like, all right.

You could just not make it for christmas and that's okay.

It's just tough right now.

It's like, it's so hard to get renovated do anything because it's like, I don't know when like to do anything.

I need a deadline to get projects done.

I need a deadline to get anything done.

I need like a pressure otherwise I get nothing done.

And so not knowing when he's gonna be here, it's like, what's the point in doing anything?

What's the point in preparing?

What's the point in like I know what christmas tree I want to buy.

We're going to put it up together.

So I'm gonna cry for better.

Then I'm gonna go get groceries.

I don't need to do my dishes, but I just I just can't get up right now.

I'm stuck.

My mouth hurts so much.

Yeah, you can't even see it as clearly as I can in real life.

But Fuji is right there.

Okay.

Happy Tuesday.

I didn't record yesterday because I left my camera at home.

But a lot of stuff happened.

I need to get a wisdom tooth removed.

I'm about to head to Yokohama for a shoot today.

This is gonna be a really cool one and I can't actually say anything about it because it's got a really strong uh no, like a silent agreement, whatever it's called.

But I think I don't even think I'm allowed to see what I'm doing today.

I don't think I'll be able to film anything if I can let it be cool.

If not, I will see you tomorrow.

I look tired.

I look ill.

I like piste off.

I'm all of those things.

Everything is going wrong.

Stop the music, stop it.

This is not the life I want to live.

Uh, Everything's going wrong and everything is building up and up and up.

I don't think my boyfriend's gonna make it for christmas.

I just started to make macaroni and cheese, but I've run out of milk.

I didn't know that.

I don't care anymore about the dairy ology.

I'm just going to eat cheese and ice cream and a bleep out.

That swear word was still a family friendly channel.

I scratched my face and I blend in my sleep.

I had blood all over my sheets.

I've got an infected face.

I look disgusting.

I look tired.

I can't walk probably because I pulled all the muscles in my legs yesterday from the job.

I can't tell you anything about the job I need to eat so I can take my antibiotics and painkillers.

And then I got to go to the hospital and see if they can remove the tooth from my face and knowing it, it's probably gonna go wrong.

And I'm gonna have a disfigured face.

Oh my God.

Well by I'm in so much pain, but I can't take my pain medicine without food and I have like no food in the house, so I have to eat before I can take my pain medicine and then I'm gonna go to the hospital to see if they can take my tooth out because this sucks.

But but I'm gonna go there and they'll be like, all right, we can take it out in like a week and a half or two weeks time and I'll be like, no, I need it now, I'm dying.

I'm gonna fail school.

I think that's definite now I've already skipped three days.

Mhm.

Um One of them I went and then my tooth hurt too much.

Mhm.

And I had to go to the dentist and the next one was yesterday and I had the job and then today I I can't, I just can't do it.

I have to go to hospital.

I'll show you my favorite cakes, that chestnut chestnut cakes, I look like I've killed a man.

I can't smile because it hurts too much.

Okay, let's sit down.

Yeah.

Ah Oh yum.

Okay.

So the hospital turned me away because I'm not a registered member of the hospital.

So I have to go back at 8:30 AM tomorrow two to become a member.

Um And it was all in japanese and it was really stressful.

So so I sat and cried while the rudder helped me over the phone.

I called my boyfriend's university and yeah, he has to book a ticket for The 26.

And even then it's not certain if it's all gonna be okay, what a crap day, what a crap week.

I'm going to go to see my therapist now.

Hope she's ready for me in the video.

You can you can do whatever you want.

It's thursday.

I look like a hot mess.

But there is no way that that hot Emma is appearing this week.

It is just Emma in a mess.

And today I'm going back to the hospital.

I'm gonna try to get that Shortly after 8 30 and become a member of the hospital and get an appointment and God, I just want them to look at my my tooth and be like, okay, let's just remove this now.

That's the dream.

That's the goal.

So let's see how we go.

I might have to go back tomorrow and if I go to school tomorrow, I have to do a really big test which I haven't studied for everyone else has had three days to study for it.