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  • Hey, I got reservations at this really swanky place.

  • Do you really wanna get dinner? Or do you wanna...

  • That. I wanna do that. Yup.

  • Babe, I know we're saving money for the wedding, so, this year, I'm giving you the gift of song.

  • Aw.

  • Believe in a belief that there is love, yeah. ♪ - What a perfect gift!

  • I didn't want jewelry or chocolate or flowers; I wanted this.

  • ♪ I love you, yeah. ♪

  • I need to call my mom and tell her.

  • I know we're saving money for the baby, so, I made you a scavenger hunt that ends with a haiku!

  • Oh, look, look; it's Mommy's little valentine!

  • And, look, we got you... a, a flower and, oh, no, also... 26 dollars!

  • For Mommy.

  • Hey, Mommy got the money.

  • Okay, baby, sit right there, don't lift a finger; I'm cooking you a four-course meal.

  • And, luckily, I got two pans, I got a pot, I got the oven on broil

  • Crap! Today's Valentine's Day?

  • - It's okay, honey, it's no big deal. - No, I forgot to send treats into preschool.

  • Dear God!

  • - You don't understand! - Go!

  • This is the worst!

  • Oh, my gosh; they're gonna kick us out!

  • - We're gonna have to move to a new city. - Okay.

  • - I'm going to Walgreens, I'm gonna go to Target. - Go now!

  • Maybe to a cupcake store.

  • And then I'll go and then I'll sneak 'em in, they won't even know!

  • (romantic French music)

  • A card.

  • Handmade, with a Sharpie that you found just in the drawer there, that was fun.

  • And a gift.

  • The gift that keeps on giving.

  • Just hugs?

  • No like back rub, no foot massage?

  • Okay cool, just checking.

  • (light music)

  • Honey you don't have to get me anything for Valentine's Day.

  • (quirky music)

  • You didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day?

  • - [Penn] 'Cause last year you told me that you didn't want any--

  • - What no, that is, I'm gonna start recording our conversations, that is not what I said.

  • - [Penn] I'm pretty sure you said you didn't want any--

  • - No you're wrong.

  • (soft music)

  • - Hey babe, I wrote you another song for Valentine's Day.

  • - So we're back to saving money?

  • - No, why?

  • - Okay let's hear it.

  • Your hair is like a meadow

  • - A meadow?

  • And your eyes are like two marbles in the sky

  • - Marbles?

  • Where do you--

  • And your body is a mirror

  • Of my love for you ♪ - You're just looking at things and singing them right now, right?

  • And I see right through you shining through the mirror

  • Did you put any effort into this at all?

  • Love and love and love

  • - No effort?

  • Okay.

  • (light music)

  • - You wanna just stay in and watch "The Notebook"?

  • - Oh from our first date! - Yeah.

  • - [Boy] Daddy I wanna go play video games.

  • - [Girl] I told you not to go in my room!

  • - Daddy, Sunny just threw up all over the room.

  • (girl shouting) Oh my gosh, what did you eat?

  • (glass shattering)

  • (romantic music)

  • - Look, the kids made us cards!

  • I love you for cleaning up my mess.

  • Thanks, you're really nailing the tone of Valentine's Day.

  • - Baby, that steak dinner was so romantic with the red wine and a chocolate dessert.

  • That really took some kids away from the kids, it was so nice for us to be into it together.

  • Do you want me to tape my mouth closed too so I don't snore?

  • (light, upbeat music)

  • - Did you take out the trash?

  • - Yes. - Did you lock the door?

  • - Yes. - Did you start the dishwasher? - Yep.

  • - Did you turn off all the lights?

  • - Yes. - Well, happy Valentine's Day to you.

  • - Yes!

  • (beep)

  • (light music)

  • - I love you honey.

  • - I love you too, baby.

  • - Hey, where you going?

  • - Oh, baby I've had to fart for the last 15 minutes.

  • I don't know if I can trust it.

  • I think it might be kind of a loud one, I don't even know if it's gonna be a fart.

  • So I thought I'd just go into the other room and just make sure. - That is so sweet!

  • - I love you, I love you, I love you.

  • (flatulence) Oh man.

  • (quirky music)

  • It's Mommy's little valentine, yeah!

  • Oh, we got you a flower.

  • - [Kim] You just dropped the baby.

  • - No I just put it down gently.

  • - [Kim] (laughing) You put it down gently.

  • - All right should I just hold her for it.

  • - Yes. - Okay.

  • - [Kim] You dropped the baby, you were--

  • - Is that, what?

  • I'm very tired.

  • - Oh, you're very tired.

  • Sunny, what do you wanna do for Valentine's Day?

  • (exaggerated Italian music)

  • - You just wanna get in every shot?

  • That's what you want for Valentine's Day, you wanna get in every shot?

  • Yeah, okay, there you go.

  • - Okay, aw.

Hey, I got reservations at this really swanky place.

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