SpongeBob as a Fighting Video Game Mega-Marathon! ? SpongeBob SquareOff

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- I'm ready! - Let's do it!
[ding]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[grunting]
[shouting]
Forget the Chum Bucket, this is personal.
[screaming]
[screaming]
[grunting]
No!
My name's not Rick!
[grunting]
I don't like you.
I don't like you more!
I never liked you!
I a thousand times never liked you!
- Pink! - Yellow!
[grunting]
[fabric ripping]
[crowd gasping]
Yellow?
Pink?
[both] You do care!
[crying]
Let's promise never to fight again, buddy.
Yeah, pal. Let's go home.
[whistling]
[crowd booing]
Have you ever heard the one
about the squirrel and the tin cans?
I don't think so.
Well, it goes like this!
Wait, I forgot the punch line...
Oh, yeah!
[laughs]
That's a good one, isn't it?
What a beautiful day!
Beautiful sky, beautiful plants...
Hi, plants!
Beautiful... pile of cans.
Mm-hm...
Sandy, that is your worst disguise yet.
No, it's not, SpongeBob!
This is!
Now, prepare for a long, merciless whooping!
Mm-hm. My favorite.
[laughs ominously]
By the powers of naughtiness,
I command this particular drop of hot sauce
to be really, really hot!
[gasps] Sandy, wait!
Victory is yours.
I knew you'd come to your senses, SpongeBob.
Curses!
[making silly noises]
I wanna be Dirty Dan!
What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
I'm dirty.
[grunts]
I'd say I'm Dirty Dan.
I'd say I'm Dirty Dan!
- Ow! - [grunts]
I'd say I'm Dirty Dan!
- Ow! - I'm Dirty Dan!
- [grunts] - I'm Dirty Dan!
- Ow! - I'm Dirty Dan!
- [grunts] - I'm Dirty Dan!
[grunting] I'm Dirty Dan!
[SpongeBob] I'm Dirty Dan!
[Patrick] I'm Dirty Dan!
- I'm Dirty Dan! - I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
- Oh! - I'm Dirty Dan!
[screams]
Screaming will get you no--
[growling]
Which one of you fellers is the real Dirty Dan?!
Uh... I am?
[screaming]
Patrick!
Hot wings.
Okay, Pinhead Larry, now you get yours!
[screaming]
Pinhead!
[panting]
[screaming]
Now you're gonna pay for those crimes, Pinhead!
Sandy, stand back. I'm warning ya!
[roaring]
Okay, I warned ya!
Did you win?
[grunting]
Hi, SpongeBob!
[roaring]
[screaming]
Okay, SpongeBob, you can be Dirty Dan.
I just wanna be Patrick.
Let's get out of here before Sandy wakes up again!
Cone head!
- Yellow! - Pink!
Patrick, you fool!
This was over before it started!
I will now consider your unconditional surren... der.
[laughing]
So that's how he wants it to go down.
[Patrick keeps laughing]
[reloading sound]
[shouting]
Ha! You missed me!
[shouting]
[shouting]
[sighs]
[SpongeBob reloads]
[shouting]
Score one for the boys back home!
Super Acquaintances, attack!
Oh, no! Please, mercy!
Krakatoa!
[screaming]
Get it off! Get it off, get it off, get it off!
[repeating] Get it off! Get it off!
I'll save you, Quickster!
[grunting]
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
[grunts]
I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls!
Uh... Uh... Uh...
- Ah-ha! - Huh?
No, no, no, I'm not the Quickster!
I'm Captain Mag... ma.
[wheezing]
Well, I guess it's up to me.
I'll just sneak over unseen and catch them by surprise.
[Sandy screaming]
[loud crash, grunts]
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
[panting]
[sighs] Glad that's over.
You guys are so gullible!
[growling]
[screaming]
[roaring]
Squidward, are you okay?
No.
Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle
before he comes back.
Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once.
Are you crazy?
A dirt circle won't stop that monster.
I'm running for my life!
No!
[screaming]
Don't run! Sea bears hate that!
Thanks for the tip.
I guess I'll just limp home, then.
No!
[screaming]
[groaning]
They hate limping more than running!
Well, I guess I'll just have to...
[screaming]
[growling]
I should have warned you about crawling.
[screaming]
What did I do that time?
I don't know, I guess he just doesn't like you.
Pretend to be somebody else.
Here, draw a circle.
Okay.
[roaring]
[screaming]
That was an oval! It has to be a circle!
What I learned in boating school is...
[panting]
[screaming]
You'd better stop this boat!
[grunting]
I'm... not... letting... go!
Nothing will stop me!
Not even... [gasps]
Giant clams?!
[grunting and shouting]
I'm... not... letting... go... even for...
[gasps] Cheese graters?!
No!
[screaming and grunting]
If you think I'll let go for a little...
Educational television?!
Oh, no!
[screaming]
Looks like that got rid of him. Now for some tunes!
And now back to KRUD,
with all of your personal
“You Won't Get Away With Stealing My Car!" hits.
[screaming]
[grunting and shouting]
Hey, look.
[screaming]
Oof! Oof! Arrgh!
I'd never let you have this boat!
Not even if you were...
[gasps] Mrs. Puff?
[flapping lips]
[sirens blaring]
I'm ready!
Let's do it.
[screaming]
Boy, it was lucky the sidewalk broke our fall.
But we've lost Plankton!
To the spy mobile!
Hmm... Mines, oil slick, smoke screen, shield...
Self destruct!
[beeping]
[laughing]
[screaming]
Destroy my lab, will ya, Krabs?
Well, if it's war you want, it's war you'll get!
Is it dark or have I put off my cataract surgery too long?
No, Mr. Krabs, it's that time of the month.
Merciful Neptune! Man your battle stations!
I'm on it!
[alarm blaring]
[toilet flushing]
Bring it on, Plankton!
Oh, I will.
We'll see if you have a customer left
after I pump up the volume.
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, brother, I hated the real version of this song.
[groaning]
He's driving me customers away!
All right, Plankton, you want my customers so badly?
You can have 'em!
Do your worst, Krabs!
I hate my job.
It's up to you and me, buddy!
Abandon ship!
[screaming]
[grunting]
Pointy-headed projectile on the port side!
[laughing]
Oh!
No!
I win! I always win!
[cheering]
Patrick, you fool!
This was over before it started!
I will now consider your unconditional surren... der.
[laughing]
So that's how he wants it to go down.
[Patrick keeps laughing]
[reloading sound]
[shouting]
Ha! You missed me!
[shouting]
[shouting]
[sighs]
[SpongeBob reloads]
[shouting]
Score one for the boys back home!
Victory screech!
[making silly sounds]
Okay, fine! You want a fort? There. There's your fort! Now...
Your fort's too small, Squidward.
It's okay, Patrick. It's just a demonstration. Now--
He's right, Squidward, that thing
would never protect you. It's downright puny.
Trust me, it's fine.
See? It is too small.
Not if I crouch down.
I mean, you didn't even give me a chance to crouch down.
See? Down here, I am perfectly--
Exposed.
Would you two please--
Stop throwing--
Snowballs?!
[growling]
[gasps] Squidward returned fire!
Then it's war!
No, no! Wait, wait! I was just giving a demonstration!
[growling] All right, that's it!
You guys asked for it!
I got him! Ha! I got him!
[laughing]
In your face, SpongeBob!
[laughing]
This was actually kind of... exciting!
Why, I've never felt so alive!
[laughing] He got you good, SpongeBob!
Incoming!
[laughing]
[mumbling]
Oh, yeah!
Incoming!
Hey, SpongeBob...
Yes, Patrick?
I think Squidward's taking this really seriously.
That last one had his clarinet in it.
Hmm, looks like it's time for Plan B.
I guess that oughta do it.
[laughing]
Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable!
[laughing]
[screaming]
[panting]
[grunts]
[panting]
[coughing]
[gasps]
[coughing]
[retching]
[groaning]
[panting]
I always hate going in there.
Yeah.
Crawl back into your hole, bone boy.
Back up! Back up, I say!
Attack.
Tally-ho!
Look at me, I'm Errol Fin!
You're falling apart, marrow brain!
You must be kidding. Back to oblivion!
Oh, ho. How's your sister?
All right, boneheads, playtime's over.
Yee-hoo! Ha-ha!
[fighting]
A million dollars!
I've got a million dollars!
[making silly noises]
How do you like me now?
I like you this much!
Whao!
Feel me!
Oh, oh, oh!
Patrick!
Patrick! Are you okay?!
Question is...
will you be?
[screaming]
[giggling]
No fair!
All's fair in love and war, my friend-slash-enemy!
Or should I say, my "friendenemy"?
[beep]
[beeping]
Let's have some real fun.
[screaming]
Yah!
What was that?!
Come on, we gotta get out of here!
[screaming] Grab the children!
[gasps]
Oh, yeah?
Two can play at this game.
[buzzing]
Jumping jellyfish! Whoa!
[laughing]
I wasn't gonna do this,
but you've left me no choice.
[groans]
Oh! Let's beat it, dude!
[laughing]
Huh?
[groaning]
[bones cracking]
Oh...
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened, Patrick...
I got carried away.
Me too.
Can I have some more?
[shouts]
[sniffs]
- There he goes! - Our champion!
He's so dreamy!
Oh...!
Watch our home town hero, Patrick Star,
take on the beloved champion from three towns over,
Oswald McNulty!
And see who takes the Patty Belt!
Five short minutes to consume as many patties as they can.
Who's ready?
There's the bell! And we're off and eating.
McNulty taking an early lead
and really going to work on those patties.
What a dynamo!
The little smelt from three towns over
eating at a terrific pace!
But what's this? Patrick Star isn't moving.
He seems stuck in the gate!
What are you doing Patrick?
Don't make me charge you for those patties too!
McNulty is pressing forward.
Looks like this is gonna be a blowout!
Patrick.
I believe in you, Patrick.
But wait! Patrick Star is on the move
and patties are starting to disappear!
Look at that little sea star eat!
He's inching closer to McNulty,
and it look like McNulty can feel the heat.
Never has there been a more prodigious display
of competitive eating!
The amount of patties being consumed is astounding.
And now... Yes, yes!
Patrick Star has matched Oswald McNulty!
And they are tied as they come into the home stretch!
Both eaters are now so full they can barely eat
but eat they do, moving so slowly now.
One can't help but wonder
if they are going to hit the patty wall at some point.
And, and...
Both eaters have stopped!
With only seconds left, we are tied in patties eaten,
and neither one seems to have the room to go on!
Oh! What's this?
Down goes McNulty! Down goes McNulty!
It looks like we do have a tie!
It's over SpongeBob.
I can't go on.
The taste, Patrick. Remember the taste.
The taste?
What's this?
Patrick Star has risen from his seat
and is pointing to center field.
No, wait! He's pointing to a little boy with a hurt foot.
Ladies and gentleman, he's pointing to his mouth
as if to indicate something.
Here you go champ, you can have one.
[cheering]
And he's eating! He's eating!
The Great Starbino is eating!
Patrick Star wins!
The belt is back in Bikini Bottom!
The belt is back in Bikini Bottom!
Here you go, son.
You earned it fat and square.
[cheering] Yay!
I'm putting you under fry cook's arrest.
Oh, really?
[laughing]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[straining]
[laughing] Got you now!
[straining]
Not so fast.
[struggling]
Yah!
[grunting]
[screaming]
[grunting]
Well, looks like the hook is on the other fin now, huh?
[wheezing]
No flippin' way!
[roaring]
[screaming]
[growling]
[together] The patty!
Oh, what are we gonna do?!
Don't eat my patty!
[screaming]
[screaming]
Ah! Ow!
Squidward, you saved the Krabby Patty!
Whoopee.
Oh-ho! How's your sister?
[roaring]
Hold on me dime, boyo.
Eeyah!
[screaming]
Well, that was anticlimactic.
Again.
[Mr. Krabs] Ho-ho!
[grunting]
[retching]
[crying]
[grunting]
Whoa!
[drumming]
Oh, yeah!
[laughing]
[screaming] Whoa!
Whoa!
Oh! Ow! Oh!
Wait a minute, give me that! Oh!
[squeaking]
[cheering] Yeah!
They're all Krabby Patty zombie monsters!
[groaning]
Okay, I believe it!
[groaning]
Karen!
[robotic mumbling]
Consume me.
No!
Hey!
Have some.
No, wait! I don't want--
[gurgling]
[groaning]
Have a slider.
[panicked breath]
Oh!
Stay back, I've got sporks!
[groaning]
[groaning]
[straining]
[retching]
[grunting]
Boy, do I feel better!
Oh, that's it! Chum is the cure!
Oh, a patty.
Patrick...
Eat us!
No, eat chum.
Wah!
[retching]
What happened?
Yes! Yes!
Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!
Wah!
[groaning]
Maybe I should up the dosage!
[screaming]
And three, two...
[retching]
[groaning] Oh, my cranium.
Ugh, I told myself I'd never eat here.
Oh, boy. So much for lab-grown patties.
You see, Mr. Krabs, some things don't need
scientific re-engineering to be delicious.
The original Krabby Patty is perfect just the way it is.
Yeah, you know, after all that,
a good old vintage Krabby Patty sounds pretty good right now.
Yeah.
Vintage Krabby Patties rule!
You're darn tootin', they do!
And for the next three minutes,
all vintage Krabby Patties at the Krusty Krab are...
double the price!
[cheering]
Wait! Don't leave now!
Who's gonna clean up this mess?!
[groaning]
Have some. [laughs]
[belching]