Name: Why we should feel sorry for High Achievers
Uploaded: 2021-12-10T10:50:05.000Z
Duration: 5 min 11 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Transition words & phrases

it might seem at first glance as though the people we term high achievers could not possibly require our sympathy or compassion after all.

Reflexive pronouns

They are the ones who did exceptionally well in exams, whom the teachers admired, who won places at the best universities, who graduated with honors, who got into law and medical schools, who founded thriving businesses, who live in the wealthiest parts of town, who were up early in the morning, preparing themselves healthy breakfasts before a day of important meetings.

Adverbs of manner

Surely we can't suggest that these might be victims, except of course, that it would rarely occur to anyone who did not harbor a high degree of self suspicion to undertake so many outsized efforts to impress and to make a mark upon the world.

The high achievers, for all their accomplishments cannot trust in a basic idea that it might be acceptable to be themselves outside of any acclaim, notice or distinction, simply being is never enough.

Their right to exist can only be assured by constant doing their frantic activity masks an underlying unquenchable doubt as to their acceptability.

It may have been many years since they enjoyed a day without commitments.

The moment that they are at a loose end, anxiety arises.

What have they forgotten to take care of?

Do they have the right to be still, No one can doubt what we owe to the high achievers.

They are the ones who build the skyscrapers, who explore distant planets, who drive the stock market to new heights, who start businesses and write films and books.

But our respect shouldn't rob us of our ability to appraise the costs that their ways of life exact.

The wealth of nations is built upon the troubles of the individual psyche.

The high achievers have been driven to act not simply from talent or creativity, energy and skill though these are no doubt present as well, but from a primordial sense that there is something shameful about them in their basic state and that they must hence clothe themselves in the garments of success to escape the humiliation of their true selves.

No wonder that their efforts are so often self defeating.

It may for a long time seem as if they were after money, power, acclaim and distinction, but these are merely substitutes for their fundamental but unknown goal.

The disjuncture explains the curious sadness that may accompany high achievers at some of their moments of greatest triumph.

Finally, they have sold the company at last.

They have won an international prize, but they are likely to feel hollow in the days and years that follow as they confuse, diddly recognize that every possible achievement has been gained, but none of it has somehow been sufficient to quell the pain and restlessness within it can be counted as close to good fortune if high achievers stumble and fail somewhere along their journey if they are tripped up by an unexpected bankruptcy scandal or economic downturn.

The reversal may prompt a mental breakdown and a period of rest in which there is a slither of hope for it contains a chance to see that they're manic pursuit of success was all along masking a terror about unlovable itty, which now has a chance to be quelled in a more realistic and effective way.

There is an opportunity to acknowledge that one has been playing the wrong game all along and that the true problem never had anything to do with a lack of prizes and everything to do with a burning conviction that one might need so many of them.

It is a measure of our collective delusion that we are so ready to be proud of high achievers and so slow to detect the wound that powers them on.

It would be a less gilded world, but also a far happier one in which we were readier to reassure the self hating titans of success that they were worthy of love all along.

 Our online shop has a range of books and gifts that address the most important and often neglected areas of life. 