Take one.

All right.

Just have fun up there and again, all that.

They are just as a reference and everything.

Video wise is added and posts when he's being a lot of like from fring and I'm not from firing at all.

Now remember there'll be some editing if you're unsure of anything.

Don't worry.

It'll come out Conan O'brien here for another edition of Behind the Nonsense where I get a chance to talk about some of my favorite comedy bits.

I'm putting favorite in quotes because these were not selected by me with the help of some of the people who helped make them happen.

And today I'm sitting here with Andy Richter.

I'm so glad that you said that right?

Yeah, I was afraid you'd mispronounce it for six years on the year.

I called you Andy Richter.

Yeah, I remember that.

I just thought it was an affectation.

I thought you were trying to be classy.

I was for a while.

That was that's when I had a monocle first three years of the show.

Andy Richter was my sidekick.

No, we're gonna just look back at some of these moments from the show and then tell you sort of what was going on.

Give you a little insight into our sick process.

Uh If you can call it that um If we could remember if we can remember.

I can I am stunned at how many clips I see where I have no memory and I would swear before a jury that never happened.

And then they showed me the clip we just saw one the other night.

It was a bit where you get stabbed and then you bled about a gallon of blood live on stage on the show.

No recollection.

Well I have no recollection because I lost all that blood.

Right?

Of course you all that corn syrup that normally keeps you going.

But anyway, one of the things we're gonna do is take a look at something we called scraps.

We would show these on the show occasionally and these were a fan favorite because uh this is moments from rehearsal and you get to see how terribly we dress.

You get to see us without makeup.

You got to see us when the show is coming up in an hour and were tense and when I say we're tense, I'm tense.

You never gave a shit.

And the secret to my success.

Exactly.

So let's start with this scrap.

Let's take a look and then we'll talk it down.

Well uh welcome back everybody.

I hope you had a nice thanksgiving time with your families and loved ones went with Turkey and all.

Probably a real letdown from being around you and me.

Yeah.

Can relatives.

It's tough when you get used to this kind of repartee to go sit with real people.

Yeah.

My sister in law's house.

A bunch of people.

I didn't know is that true but they were in showbiz.

None of them what?

None of them.

But they had great wealth, yes, some of them weren't seemed to be doing just fine, but in that colorado way nice fleece.

You're saying they weren't in show business and not all of them were well to do.

Some, no, some of them were downright poor.

They don't understand the struggle.

I went to the isle of celebrity.

Oh really?

Yes, we had a wonderful time.

I was there with Maude Adams, Dietrich Bader, his brother hans Justine Bateman, Shaquille O'neal's lawyer.

Really?

Yes, only the best celebrity island.

It's north of nova Scotia, it's freezing, freezing, it's on the rocky skulls.

Uh you have to get your own food mussels and clams, mussels and clams.

Okay, what I see, when I look at that is I see a man who does not want to rehearse the sketch that we're supposed to rehearse and you, instead of getting me to rehearse it, you got your phone out and you don't care and that enables me to not care even more.

And then um we go into one of our classic riffs where were out of touch, completely out of touch, we assume everyone's a celebrity and everyone's wealth.

Yes, yes, because we're so humble, that's the joke that were so humble and approachable and there's absolutely no separation, but yes and the people that work here, those people also, I know that when you when I say up front, we're just back from thanksgiving.

I hope you had a good time.

Something.

Yeah, it was we were away for a while, but we're just back and those are the hardest shows when you show up at a rehearsal in a concrete box and everyone's just back from a holiday and there's no energy in the studio and everybody's still kind of hungover on gravy and wine.

You that's the energy.

I'm working off.

I'm picking that up in the room and deciding to just tank rehearsal.

And it's also kind of like, there's a production meeting or so I've heard earlier in the morning and then, But this is kind of where you're addressing because people have it on in there.

Haven't you?

Haven't seen everybody's seen everybody.

This is me saying, uh, trying to say welcome back and I hope you had a good time.

But of course I can't do that.

I can't be a sincere human being.

So I have to be a character who's like, well, good time with your loved ones.

All right, Let's take a look at another scrap and find out more about how it all works behind the scenes.

I think Mr met is the worst single worst.

Yeah.

It looks like a botched experiment.

It really does.

It looks like something that it looks like it's saying, please kill me.

Those overs over the wall.

There's a red sox song.

That's awful.

It was really Yeah, it had a banjo.

A banjo.

I think there was one that like that, like, uh, uh nothing.

A banjo.

Union Bank.

Oh yeah I want to have that car.

You're Stransky put on my horn of my car.

Oh go down the 405.

Someone is crowding me a little bit.

Your D.

Oh man.

Oh what I wouldn't give to have that.

Oh you can get that done.

I could get that done.

Hello Tesla.

Tesla, I have a quick question.

Oh Tesla, what?

I know I'm like the 50th to ask today can get charlie just trying to keep one on my own.

You just did it automatically.

Thank you.

Thank you Ilan.

Ilan is the best.

I just call what's and updates.

What's that can beef stew come out the back already is already done fast.

Tesla only 40.

Oh sure charge it to whoever pays for these things.

Come on, brian took his own life today after ordering corn chowder to come out the back of his Tesla.

There's a lot to unpack here.

First of all there's a twilight zone where a kid um in a family has ultimate power and he's played by billy Mummy and he terrifies the whole family because he can make whatever he wants to happen happen.

That's kind of what it's like to have one of these shows.

You sit there at your desk and you have an idea and you'll just reference a song Mr Met or I will and then immediately it starts to get somebody's on a computer looking it up and then bring it out now.

People watching this right now or Yeah, it's called an iphone asshole.

But it is kind of funny.

They can project it.

So we would call up stuff and either the video would come up or the music would come up instantly and then we would go off on these wild jags like that where we're just talking bullshit.

None of that.

Had anything to do with the show.

I love the quick shot of Jeff ross in there who's always just waiting for this madness today because we have a show to do and he's not having it.

He's just like, can we get done with this?

But no, you and I are very happy with our little riff and then we find the Tesla component of it and that's the best part of our day usually.

Yeah, that's the part where people sometimes afterwards go.

That should be the show.

Which is so annoying because if we did make that the show, you wouldn't really like it, You wouldn't, I promise you you would not.

But there's always someone afterwards on the crew on the staff or someone in the back.

It wasn't even part of the show who's just like I saw that in rehearsal with with the glasses.

That's the show, not the ship you're doing, that's it.

And they act like the audience a week later.

Wouldn't just be Jeff ross.

Anyway, that was a lot of fun.

It's a little window into how much fun you can have a rehearsal.

Let's move on and look at some other things.

Oh, Sweeney, okay, we've heard enough.

Andy fat Santa hung out with Jeffrey Epstein in the 90s.

They don't, don't do that.

Look at this picture, Conan, see Jeffrey Epstein with Donald Trump and someone else who was torn out.

Well, I tracked down the real picture.

I got the missing piece right here.

Oh, what a silly story.

Isn't that silly coded?

Let's stop, let's stop.

I mean, we get the idea, it's okay, honey, daisy trained to attack a bad ending.

Okay, honey, it's okay.

It's okay.

Daisy sit, daisy said it's okay, it's okay.

I know, I know it's daisy, it's okay.

I just talked to you earlier, honey, honey, honey, I think you should go, sweetie, sweetie, it's okay.

It's okay.

Don't worry, it's okay baby.

It's okay.

Okay.

This I remember.

Well, because the sketch up to that point, I've been going for a while.

The sketch isn't going well, you brought your dog by and then the actor who plays santa comes out.

Your dog starts barking santa.

And then I say, oh, the dog barks a bad ending.

I don't think what you see here is that I kept going for a while about a dog trained to detect a lazy writer.

Uh, coming up with a quick corny idea to end the sketch and then once I sink my teeth into something like that where I can go after the writers and, and I think a joyous way because God knows I love them.

Um, I'm as happy as a clam in a clam boat.

I'm so happy.

So I think that went on for a while.

You also get to see their, my style.

I'm a guitarist who also flies a B 52 fighter.

Oh, I think we're being joined right now by, by Jose Arroyo.

Did you help write this sketch, Jose?

No, I didn't help write it.

I wrote it and uh, by yourself, let's say, yeah, you were saying, oh, it was a lazy ending and stuff.

How can you say it got the best possible chance when a dog racist in attack the actor that we cast?

I don't know, it just felt like I didn't get better.

Did you think, Did you think?

To be honest?

So you think that the whole sketch could have been redeemed Bye Santa coming out in Chloroform ng Andy, you think that could have saved nine minutes of previous sketch that had given us note after it only felt like nine minutes free.

He's hated my dog since that day.

And guess what?

The dog was here and did not bark at that hilarious comment.

That's right, That Jose made.

So the dog does know the difference between a funny ending, right and that travesty.

We all witnessed.

That was for me though, aside from comedy wise, that was like a very reassuring day for me.

I know that like if I ever get chloroformed, my dog will be upset by you.

If you ever get chloroformed by santa, your dog will say anyone else.

Your dog doesn't give a sh it.

I used to bring I used to bring her to rehearsal but I had to stop because twice where Conan stands on his mark was there was a rug and she twice peed on that rug.

She came up onto the stage, smelled that rug and peed on.

It has never peed inside anywhere else.

No, that's a daughter.

Ever, ever that's a dog marking its territory.

Oh, I thought I was doing some funny stuff there and secretary came running.

Yeah, I guess you decided it was over.

We're getting into some people who know, no, wait till the riffs are done and you can come in, there's plenty of time.

No, I mean we're done with this one.

You cut it off, It's over please.

I need to focus.

I need to focus to remember the good times.

This is awful.

Let's never do this again.