Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles I'm ready! Good morning, SpongeBob. Wow, it's amazing how a simple change of clothes can make a guy look... just like me. Dr. Patrick, could you call Sandy for me? Sure, patient SpongeBob. [beeping] [cuckoo clock hooting] - Hello, Sandy? - Hiya, Patrick. I'm calling on behalf of my patient, SpongeBob. I'm on my way over to take him to the hospital. Uh, that will no longer be required. He is in my care as of today. Well, I'm coming over to take a look. I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a high-- Oh, yeah, yeah, the rabbit! Don't bother, Sandy! The Elastic Waistband! Able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms! I can finally touch my toes! Well, I'll be! Patrick, your cooking's improved one thousand fold! Congratulations, boy, you finally got the hang of it. [gasps] [giggling creepily] What's happening, man? Patrick? What are you doing here? Just tubing down the river of life, baby. Does Mr. Krab know you're in here? No crabs. Can't stand those things! Patrick will be resurrecting an old favorite: the single-scoop strawberry cone with a chocolate dip. Just look at that concentration. Oh, a little shaky on that entry, but just look at that form! Who's that? I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Squidward. You're both Squidward? I'm Squidward, he's Squidward. We're both Squidward. [groaning] [groaning] [belching] Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king. King needs food badly. [making silly noises] [screaming] [making silly noises] Yeah, finally! Yoo-hoo! I'm Squidward! I'm Squidward! Squidward, Squidward, Squidward! Wait! It's not enough to look like Squidward to be opposite. [imitating Squidward] You have to act like him, too. - Now you try. - Okay. [inhaling] I'm Squidward! Squidward, Squidward, Squidward! [both] I'm Squidward! I'm Squidward! I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward! Squilliam Fancyson will be here in 20 minutes. Therefore, we need to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy restaurant as soon as possible. Patrick, what are you doing here? I thought the corp would help me straighten out my life, sir! The corp? What the...? Pat, this isn't the... Ugh! [sighs] Well, beggars can't be choosers. Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner? You mean like a weenie? Okay! May I take your hat, sir? May I take your hat, sir? - May I... - All right, I've heard enough. High-five everyone! Huh! No, put me down first! High five! High five! [Plankton screams] - High five! - Oh! High five! High five! [groaning] High five! High five! High five! [groaning] [grunting] I can help you get your puppies adopted. I did get Patrick into a good home. [sniffing] You sure this is a guard dog, SpongeBob? [grunting] [grunting] [sighs] [grunting] At last, I have found my calling. I am Patrick Man, Defender of Bikini Bottom! [grunting] And here we see the ancient junk of the great empire of... Patlantis! Oh... [whistling] Hmm? Hey! No touching the exhibits, buddy! [grunting] Oh! [screaming] Oh! Ah! Sorry about that, mister. [giggling] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy unite! We're ready! Man-Bob! And Pat-Boy! Reporting for duty! Let's start fishing! Go ahead, you get first crack. Look at them. These graceful stoic creatures of the deep. Huh? Those are some big words, Pat. I've never heard you use them before. Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding. [giggling] Who's the baby? I'm the baby! I'm the baby! I'm the baby! [clears throat] Being grown-up is boring. I love being a baby. [sniffing] [sniffing] [sniffing] Huh? [gasps] And who are you, my Rubenesque beauty? That's Patricia, our newest Krusty Krab employee. Well, she sure is stunning. Hey, Sandy, who's your friend? But... But you're supposed to be in the gorilla suit. I am in the gorilla suit. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. If you're Patrick, then who's that? [roaring] [gasps] A real gorilla! Huh? [screaming] [gorilla screaming] Just call me Daddy! Uh, what you doing? Just studying this amazing subspecies. I'll show you subspecies! Wanna visit Squidward? Well, since I am finished with my work, I'll humor you and your trivial pursuits. Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as... [both] Pickle fish lips! Seaweavel. Yorgyshmorgie. [SpongeBob] At least I'm safe inside my mind. [Patrick] At least I'm safe inside my mind.