For me?

Hello.

Package for Mr. Squarepants.

Great, thanks!

So, uh, you like delivering mail?

It puts bread on the table.

Rye or pumpernickel?

[laughing] Oh, brother.

So, do you deliver your own mail,

or do you have your own mail person?

But then who delivers his mail?

Is there a never-ending chain of mail men

delivering mail to other mail men?

Well, I guess a PO box could, in theory, break the chain--

Don't you have a paper to write?

How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay?

Bleh.

[groaning]

Dear SpongeBob, wow, you know how to fly?

Fly? What does he mean by-- [gasping]

See? What did I tell you?

Gary, my pen pal thinks I can fly.

[meowing]

Huh, what a silly misunderstanding.

I can't believe I know a real life pilot.

I wish I could watch you fly because I am dying.

[gasping]

Dying?! My pen pal!

[crying]

I don't want to let him down and say I can't fly.

'Cause then his dying wish would never come true.

See anything yet, Patrick?

I need my glasses.

Mm...

It's the mail truck!

Our package!

[music playing]

I didn't realize is was Happy Hopping Moron Day.

- SpongeBob Squarepants? - That's me!

That's a big box.

Thank you!

Hey SpongeBob, when do we stop hopping?

30 more seconds, Patrick.

Probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble soap.

[laughing]

[grunting]

Huh? A brand new television?

Easy... easy...

[grunting]

[cheering]

Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider.

Whoa!

Ooh, a letter.

Thank you, Mr. Mail Man.

Boy, if I weren't already on parole.

Bleh.

[groaning]

Dear SpongeBob, I'll be at the Bikini Bottom Air Show tomorrow.

please meet me there so I can finally see you fly.

[screaming]

Oh, no. What have I done? What have I done?

I can't fly, Gary.

I'm not a flyer, I'm a liar!

Oh!

[screaming]

[humming]

Hi, mail man! [screaming]

OK, see you tomorrow!

Hey, the mail's here. What did you get?

Let's see...

Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary...

Hey, a magazine!

That's funny. I don't remember subscribing to

Fancy Living Digest.

Whoa!

Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living.

This guy's so rich,

he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool.

This guy's got shoes.

I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

- I'm waiting... - I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

We're waiting.

- We're waiting. - SpongeBob?

What are we waiting for?

We're waiting for the mail man.

He's brining me a free toy.

I love toys!

Can I wait for your toy with you?

Why, sure.

We're waiting. We're waiting.

We're waiting.

There's the mail man!

- You SpongeBob Squarepants? - Yup.

- Isn't there anything else? - Nope, sorry kid.

Guess we'll have to keep waiting.

Hey, hey, hey, SpongeBob.

Got a bunch of great stuff for you today.

A new spatula emporium catalogue.

No!

Free money from the sweepstakes you won!

No!

A letter from your family.

No! Packages? How about packages?

You have any packages for me?

No packages.

Sorry to disappoint you, SpongeBob.

What makes you think I'm disappointed?

Everything's just fine.

Man, what a sad sponge.

That's right. Introducing Sad Sponge,

the newest bummer dude action figure.

Oh...

Special delivery for SpongeBob Squarepants.

Special delivery just for me?

You think I'm... special?

[crying]

Alright, do we have to go through this

every time I give you your mail? Sheesh.

What could it be today, Gary? [meowing]

A video tape?

You're a winner... SpongeBob Squarepants.

I'm SpongeBob Squarepants!

Karate Island!

A serene and exotic location

where nature and beauty abound.

And hundreds of fighting styles combine in a wave

of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action!

For centuries, the world's top karate artists

have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.

King of Karate?

Now it's your turn...

SpongeBob Squarepants.

You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island!

Hi-yah!

Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!

Oh...

Ooh...

Hey, SpongeBob, you're in your underwear.

That's cool.

I got your mail.

What is it?

It's my life insurance.

I got one for you too.

Oh, boy! Life insurance!

Life insurance! Life insurance!

Life insurance! Life insurance!

What's life insurance?

I'm not sure, but I think it means for the rest of our lives

we are protected.

We can't get hurt.

Mm...

The contract tastes legitimate.

But I don't believe it.

SpongeBob Squarepants?

Could you come back later? He's having a moment.

Yeah, I just need his signature for--

I said he's having a moment!

Now leave him alone!

No, Patrick.

People like me don't deserve moments.

I got so caught up in-- Oh, here you go.

Waiting for my... my toy!

[giggling]

[giggling]

Woo!

Woo! Yeah!

[music playing]

[giggling]

Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah.

It's beautiful.

SpongeBob?

I waited so long...

- SpongeBob? - And you broke it.

- You OK, buddy? - Yes.

Yes, I'm OK.

Oh, oh for a sec I--

You!

You ruined my free toy!

I'm sorry! Oh... Maybe if you just--

Ahh!

[screaming]

Ahh!

[screaming]

[whistling]

It's here!

Behold, Patrick.

The official Goofy Goober back scratcher!

And it only cost me 52 box tops.

Wow.

Ooh... mm...

Oh...

Oh!

Woo!

Oh yeah, that's it!

Let me try!

Ah...

Uh, Patrick, that's not the back scratcher, that's my arm.

Oh, sorry.