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  • it's a bird.

  • It's a plane.

  • It's story time.

  • Welcome fruit lovers.

  • I'm pair and joining me today for this very super episode is blue the tick.

  • I told you not to call me by my real name.

  • I'm pretty sure there's a bug in this room.

  • Dude, you are a bug in this room.

  • You're right quick.

  • Get rid of me.

  • Hit me over the head with this mallet.

  • Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

  • But what I am going to do is tell the story of the greatest superhero of all time.

  • The tick.

  • Um no Superman.

  • Gotcha personally.

  • I feel the tick is the greatest superhero ever, but maybe I'm just biased.

  • Yeah, you're probably related to him or something.

  • Right wow.

  • Did you really just say that not politics are related.

  • Pear geez.

  • Oh sorry yeah, we do happen to be second cousins thrice removed.

  • Anyway, let's go on with the story before I get really ticked off.

  • All right.

  • Hey I am once upon a time on a far away planet named Krypton.

  • A baby was born and hold up that baby superman, you're telling me Superman from another planet?

  • He's an alien.

  • Yeah, technically he's an alien.

  • Whoa okay you have my attention but now you have my curiosity, why the heck did you not tell me the story was about aliens?

  • Let me set up my wallet conspiracy really quick.

  • I'm gonna be able to help you.

  • Big time.

  • Especially with all the stuff that the government doesn't want you to know.

  • Great.

  • Anyway Superman's planet was destroyed but his parents managed to save him just in time by sending him to earth when he arrived.

  • Everyone thought he was super rear because he was green and whose mucus right what now?

  • Like most aliens, Superman probably had difficulty with the high nitrogen content of her atmosphere care not to mention earth's gravity and temperature levels.

  • Um Hello, I'd be curious to know with which Larkana dialect did he communicate?

  • And how did earthlings deal with the fact that superman has to poop every 7.3 seconds.

  • Hello?

  • None of this is in the story.

  • None of it.

  • No.

  • Superman isn't green.

  • He looks exactly like a human.

  • What?

  • Yeah, he even got adopted by a human family in rural Kansas.

  • They named him clark Kent.

  • You're kidding me pair.

  • This is wrong on every level Kansas, no alien would ever be able to survive in such close proximity to corn.

  • That's why they make crop circles.

  • They're desperate to eradicate cornfield corn is like corners like their kryptonite.

  • Yeah, actually Kryptonite is superman's Kryptonite, you're telling me Kryptonite is an actual thing.

  • I was like, it was just like a metaphor and also the name of my favorite few doors down song.

  • Yes, it's a thing and kryptonite weekends.

  • All of his superhuman abilities like X ray vision, super strength, Impenetrable skin and the ability to fly.

  • Well it's nice to know they did at least some research on real aliens.

  • What about his need to poop 0.3 seconds.

  • House kryptonite effect that it doesn't dude.

  • Well I guess that makes sense when you gotta squeeze one?

  • You gotta squeeze one.

  • No, I'm saying that isn't one of superman's abilities.

  • He poops the same amount as a normal human.

  • Why are you laughing?

  • I'm sorry.

  • It's just so ridiculous.

  • I've never heard a story that got basic facts about aliens this wrong before.

  • This is the most insane story I've ever heard in my life.

  • Coming from you allude.

  • That means a lot.

  • Any way Clark Kent grew up to become a reporter in the bustling city of metropolis where he disguised himself in order to fight crime without being recognized.

  • How do you disguise himself?

  • Well when trouble arose, he'd often duck into a phone booth, removed his glasses and emerge in his superman suit, wow.

  • Would you look at that?

  • It's a bird.

  • It's a plane.

  • It's obviously clark Kent.

  • Uh huh.

  • I mean come on that's his disguise.

  • He just took off his glasses and suddenly everyone thought he was a totally different person.

  • Um Well yeah that's how the story goes.

  • This makes no sense.

  • Pair this story is so crazy.

  • I don't have room for all my wall of conspiracy.

  • All right.

  • I'm sorry lou I guess it was a mistake to introduce you to the concept of fiction like this I'll say and you want to know the most insane part of all this?

  • What's that superman suit?

  • I mean how does he use the bathroom in that thing?

  • You're telling me He's able to constantly get that thing off and on off and on off and on throughout the day every 7.3 seconds low.

  • I mean I get he's superhuman.

  • There's some feet that are simply too impossible even for the greatest superhero.

  • Hello Superman doesn't take his suit off every 7.3 seconds.

  • You mean he just goes inside the suit?

  • I thought this was for Kids Bear.

  • What a gross terrible story.

  • Please tell me that.

  • The N sure.

  • That's probably as good of a place to stop as any.

  • Sorry lou won't happen again.

  • I should hope not, jeez.

  • Louise Superman More like pooper man.

  • Enough flow.

  • No.

  • Yeah, yeah.

it's a bird.

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B2 AnnoyingOrange superman clark kent tick suit

The Annoying Orange - Storytime: Superman!!!

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/09/25
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