Yeah, Okay, I'm nervous.

Oh goodness!

Okay, our first one, we have is my first Met Ball.

I went with Top Shop and this short little dress.

I don't know why we were decided with that, but I remember I went to the fitting and realized I had no shoes, so I went to sail around myself and I got these platform gold and silver heels, which I still have today and I was so nervous and I think I ran through the carpet, I don't even think I was on there for more than four minutes at this point, I think we were all just kind of waiting for Rihanna to get there, so I had to get in so we could see her walk in.

Rihanna was about to come period.

Okay, so this is apparently a very iconic red dress moment and this dress, alexander voted made, I was nervous in this dress.

I look very sexual and all these things that was still nervous about cameras and nervous about having a lot of makeup on and nervous about this slit was like, thank God, I think that maybe there was one little slip that happened, but I kind of get embarrassed at this moment, still, even though the dress is gorgeous, it's just again, doesn't feel so much like me, and I think that this was the start of the Bella persona that everyone sees of me, that's my alter ego, that's Belinda, I'm just so the opposite of her, She's very Vava voom, you know, bless her, love her, she was very nervous.

Next look, oh my gosh, people used to make fun of me and say that I never smiled and it was just because I was in a really bad place, physically and mentally.

So I looked really sad in this picture but I was actually very happy.

This was um I think my first fendi show that I ever did and Carl last minute asked me to close the show.

So it was on the Trevi fountain and I remember like looking around everybody while I was walking because I was kind of taking in the moment, I think I cried after actually it was like the most beautiful moment and this dress this whole moment was just gorgeous and Miss Carla lot.

But these moments are the reasons why I'm so grateful that I was able to meet him and have those moments with him and I'll remember it forever.

So thank you Carl.

Okay, this is one of my favorite covers that I probably have ever done, shot by steven Meisel.

It's my first italian vogue cover ever.

It was just supposed to be for one portrait behind but that night I get a call from my agent and they're like Stephen wants you to come back tomorrow and I'm like of course I will come back.

I walk into the studio the next day and there were you know, 20 ft tall photos of me all around the studio, he puts me in front of one of the portraits, I'm in a full Prada looked and he just snaps his fingers and this man starts walking back and forth and he takes the photo and probably, You know, 10 minutes and I leave a few months later the cover comes out and I'm on the cover and my agent didn't know, I didn't know and Stephen probably was the only person that new, but he really made this like a magical experience for me and to have that surprise aspect to it, especially with a magazine, like Italian vogue.

It was one of the most incredible experience I ever had.

He's a blessing to be able to work with in this picture for me I'm going to keep for the rest of my life.

This was one of my favorite Met Ball looks I ever did.

It's a full chrome hearts look and Gareth Pugh did this top situation moment, the veil was sewn into my hair.

The hair pieces though, we're like £25.

So every time they would ask me to look by my shoulder, I couldn't keep my head up because it was so heavy.

Honestly, it was one of the first times I felt really sexy and beautiful and I felt like myself, this was the year that it was heavenly bodies.

We kind of wanted to go with like the dark angel.

She looked like a dark angel that night.

So this is Casey's first show with new glare.

I got to the show when people were already sitting, the types of this look kind of went viral I guess is what the kids say after this show walked.

I mean, I saw everybody wearing these tights.

This look is me walking into the louis Vuitton men's show that Virgil did this outfit.

I styled myself.

And the funny part about it is that shirt is actually like a comfort bun for men.

I came with my war a comfort but as a shirt now, I'm still thinking about it.

But anyways, I'm just a tiny top kind of girl and I love oversized pants.

I love oversized jackets.

I love sexy, masculine.

I've got also love to show a little skin.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the skin.

This was an amazing Vivienne Westwood moment.

Andrea's did this gorgeous wedding dress for me, For us.

This show, I was able to take out my dagger and kind of like again be a character and I think I always design my wedding dress based on Vivian's work and I always like in my heart kind of manifested her making my wedding dress.

I hope one day when I get married she can make it.

I mean it would be a literal honor for me.

I don't know if that would even be a possibility, but if so it's me and you, Vivian dagger included.

Yeah, this is so funny.

This is during quarantine.

We got a message from Anna and she wanted us to do a shoot about our life.

And quarantine.

What's sad about this?

Is this cow behind passed away rest in peace being in quarantine with my family.

I felt like I was a 16 year old middle child.

Again, any male Children know how it feels to be a middle child.

Everybody hates me.

No one likes me.

I'm the black sheep.

I'm naturally blonde.

I wanted to be the opposite of everyone else in my family and it was like my brother and my sister buddy buddy, ng up and I just felt like the ostracized one, but it's okay.

I know they love me.

Honestly.

My mom puts us to work.

Like we we planted a lot of lavender.

She made us get on our hands and knees for the for the gardens, which I'm so happy to do.

I'm just grateful we have this place.

Honestly, it's it's a blessing.

It's a big, big, big blessing.

Next look, this look, I just looked cute.

It was just like on a saturday.

I wanted to go get a sandwich.

This is my sandwich.

Look okay.

This outfit.

I was just coming home from work.

This is just like regular outfit.

I got these pants from Stella Dallas the jacket I've had since high school.

And this blue vest is I think my dad's my favorite part about this picture These shoes.

Grace Coddington gave these to me, my wearing them right now.

I don't know if she necessarily gave them to me, she let me wear them home.

But to me that means that she gave them to me and I wrote her name on the inside of the shoe.

I'm going to keep the issues for the rest of my life for sure.

So this picture, I'm wearing this gorgeous givenchy dressed by Matthew Williams and I love how it's really a moment.

I also love how he had cut outs of the fingers.

And that for me is always like a great touch.

It was just gorge.

We loved her.

Okay, this look is from can about what is it a month ago, Over three weeks ago.

It's crazy.

I was in paris a week before and for a few days I was looking at that picture of Naomi and and I had a dream about this dress and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I basically called a friend of mine at jean paul Gautier and his name is Greg and he's the best and I'm like Greg.

I had a dream.

I need you to help me.

Where is the stress do you have it?

Is it anywhere?

He's like, I'm so sorry, the dresses in a museum.

It's not gonna happen.

And later that day I get an envelope of a big picture of the dress with Naomi and I opened it and it was a letter of him telling me that the artillery was gonna make me the dress in six days.

I wanted to know that the dress I was gonna wear was an embodiment of who I am now as a woman and they were able to really pull it together in.

I'm not joking you.

six days.

I literally put on the dress for the first time.

15 minutes before this, it really all came together and I'm proud of this dress.

This look is schiaparelli.

I mean I always knew I was gonna wear this dress when I saw this dress.

I was really worried about how it would hold.

Its also a bit wintry.

This dress, it was very hot out.

It was a work of art when I would look down like you could see everything.

So it was very bizarre walking onto the carpet like with a breeze in places you wouldn't usually have a breeze.

The necklace wasn't as heavy as one would expect.

It was actually quite fine.

Honestly, I think I did a little cup check before I got in the car and that was it.

It was like, it's gonna happen.

It's gonna happen now.

So I'm about to walk this carpet and if five minutes from now there are pictures of my breast everywhere, then that's what we're supposed to happen.

This look, I just, I bought this shirt and skirt and paired it with a little show part hearing not a little, It's huge.

I had to give it back.

But it's gorgeous for this moment.

It was gorgeous.

I never growing up had anything designer.

My mom wouldn't let me.

I think I got my first pair of lou batons when I graduated high school.

It makes me emotional actually because I'm like so happy in this picture.

Like for the first time and I think like my whole adult life I here I feel just at ease.

Like happy.

I'm able to work.

I feel good about myself.

I felt beautiful and compared to the girl that I see like in the beginning, she was so sad and she is so content and happy.

And I love that to see that progression.

It's like I feel blessed that I made it out alive.

Of that mental mental state that I was in for so many years.

So it feels good And we love her.

Happy Bella, thank you so much for watching.

I hope that you enjoyed some of my looks.

I'm sure that there's a lot more to come.

But I'm excited to show you all of these And I hope you have a beautiful day.

Yes.

Mm hmm.