I check my inbox, return some emails, and, of course, send out thank you notes.

And I was just running a bit behind.

I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that cool?

Uh, James, can I get some thank you note writing music, please?

Wow.

-Olympic spirit. -Yeah.

Thank you, Olympics, for, once again, making me jealous that there are people who get paid to jump on trampolines.

Thank you, Olympic diving, for not going by your original name - impressive falling.

Aaaaah!

Beep, beep, beep.

Thank you, athlete bedrooms in the Olympic Village, for finally answering the question, "Can dorm rooms get even more depressing?"

Wow!

Here's where you're staying.

-Oh, my God. -No crowds.

Stay right here.

Thank you, Milwaukee Bucks logo, for looking more like the logo you'd find on a pair of camo sandals at Bass Pro Shops.

They have like the bottle opener on the bottom.

Thank you, summer weddings, for giving me the exciting opportunity to sweat through the nicest clothes I own.

Thank you, pill bottles, or, as I like to call you, "medicine maracas."

Medicine maracas.

Thank you, mosquito-repellant bracelets.

You may not actually work, but, hey, at least I look like I'm wearing a phone cord from the '80s.

Do they still have those phone cords you used to attach to kids?

Yeah.

-That was crazy. -That was a mistake, right?

Big mistake.

I don't want to watch them, I just want them on a leash.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Yeah, I love it when it's just completely stretched out.

Like, "My kid's in the next door."

Yeah, uh.

"If it goes slack, tell me."

Thank you, picnic tables, for finding a way to make sitting down feel like climbing into a window.

Thank you, portable neck fans, or, as I like to call you, Breeze by Dre.

There you have it, everybody.

Those are our thank you notes.