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Guys, today's Friday, and that's usually when I catch up with some personal stuff.
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I check my inbox, return some emails, and, of course, send out thank you notes.
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And I was just running a bit behind.
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I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that cool?
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Uh, James, can I get some thank you note writing music, please?
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Wow.
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-Olympic spirit. -Yeah.
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Thank you, Olympics, for, once again, making me jealous that there are people who get paid to jump on trampolines.
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Thank you, Olympic diving, for not going by your original name - impressive falling.
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Aaaaah!
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Beep, beep, beep.
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Thank you, athlete bedrooms in the Olympic Village, for finally answering the question, "Can dorm rooms get even more depressing?"
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Wow!
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Here's where you're staying.
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-Oh, my God. -No crowds.
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Stay right here.
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Thank you, Milwaukee Bucks logo, for looking more like the logo you'd find on a pair of camo sandals at Bass Pro Shops.
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They have like the bottle opener on the bottom.
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Thank you, summer weddings, for giving me the exciting opportunity to sweat through the nicest clothes I own.
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Thank you, pill bottles, or, as I like to call you, "medicine maracas."
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Medicine maracas.
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Thank you, mosquito-repellant bracelets.
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You may not actually work, but, hey, at least I look like I'm wearing a phone cord from the '80s.
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Do they still have those phone cords you used to attach to kids?
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Yeah.
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-That was crazy. -That was a mistake, right?
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Big mistake.
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I don't want to watch them, I just want them on a leash.
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-Yeah. -Yeah.
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-Yeah, I love it when it's just completely stretched out.
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Like, "My kid's in the next door."
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Yeah, uh.
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"If it goes slack, tell me."
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Thank you, picnic tables, for finding a way to make sitting down feel like climbing into a window.
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Thank you, portable neck fans, or, as I like to call you, Breeze by Dre.
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There you have it, everybody.
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Those are our thank you notes.