Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Hi, I'm GingerPale!

  • Happy Valentines! Before we start, here's a quick history lesson. Look, here's a guy.

  • He's a Roman soldier

  • and it's 250 A.D.

  • He's sad because he can't get married to this girl.

  • The Emperor thought soldiers wouldn't fight as well if they had

  • families and wives to worry about. But he really likes her. I mean, look at this macaroni art he made for her!

  • Amazing!

  • But one day, a Saint named Valentine came along and was like "This is one of the best macaroni arts I've ever seen!", and

  • he broke the taboo and he married them.

  • (even though it was illegal)

  • And he ended up doing this lots.

  • Soldiers were happy now and Valentine was a cool dude.

  • But then on February 14th

  • he was executed.

  • Sad, yes, but we were all touched by his patronage to love,

  • so now we give each other chocolates and flowers and cards on the day we named after him.

  • Yay Valentine!

  • Oh, and those shitty heart-shaped chalk candies.

  • They're just so chalky..

  • *chalk scraping noise*

  • See look at that, that's chalk.

  • Love life struggling? Well, good thing there's YouTube!

  • We can all be forever alone together!

  • Just kidding! Your old pal GingerPale's super wise and totally not lonely!...

  • *crying*

  • So I'm gonna help you out this year. Here's a little guide.

  • Dates.

  • First things first.

  • You need some sort of activity to ask your future Valentine to go do.

  • Most people are gonna say "Hey!

  • Let's go for food!"

  • But that stuff's for normies

  • You don't want to be stuffing your grubby little mouth in front of your special someone.

  • But on a more honest note,

  • We were just too late to get a reservation.

  • Even a table for two in the Denny's bathroom stall requires a call at least four months in advance.

  • I didn't even know I was going on a date like two seconds ago, so home cooking's always a good choice!

  • We're still getting food,

  • We're saving money, and it comes off as being more sentimental and cute.

  • You could also go for a walk.

  • PROS-

  • Get some fresh air, get some exercise, hold hands.

  • CONS-

  • You could get mauled by a bear

  • *mauled by bear noises*

  • Maybe just don't go outside...

  • Sometimes a movie sounds like a good time!

  • Wrong again, you don't actually get to talk to your date, and no talking yourself. You look crazy

  • Also, if you're interrupting the movie people will throw things at you movies are also stupid overpriced

  • Do you want to pay ten dollars for a bag of popcorn, which is gonna

  • make you need a six dollar drink,

  • and then hey, you love deals! So you're gonna throw in that $4 bag of candy just to make it a combo.

  • All on top of your $15 ticket because your stupid movie was only available in 3D.

  • *sigh*

  • Stop this!

  • Do not fall for their tricks.

  • I know you're looking to see those new movies,

  • but you can buy all the snacks, drinks, and a subscription to Netflix for less than $10

  • Gifts.

  • Chocolate, a delicious treat that most people are pretty into.

  • These are a great gift when you want your special someone to get, uh, bigger..

  • Y-You know, plump them up a bit.

  • More for the leavon!

  • Don't get anything with peanuts though,

  • because they're terrible.

  • Okay, flowers.

  • If you're feeling extra fancy, sure, go ahead.

  • Everyone likes flowers, but they're really expensive especially around Valentine's.

  • Supply and demand

  • Plus, flowers die, and you don't really want to give someone a gift that dies.

  • That's a bad symbol for how you feel for them.

  • Get them a lobster or backwards aging jellyfish instead.

  • They're pretty much immortal, so I've heard from the internet.

  • Okay cool.

  • We bought some stuff! But you can't buy the entire gift.

  • You need to make a part of it, so you're gonna make them a card,

  • and I'm gonna help you write a song.

  • Love songs are generally cheesy, and you know we have limited time and resources here,

  • so we're gonna stick to the basics and talk about our heart and stuff.

  • ? Arm bone's connected to your hand,?

  • ? Hand is connected to my heart,?

  • ? Ease up on your grip,?

  • ? GOD?

  • ? It's startin' to hurt,?

  • ? And you're actually tearing me apart.?

  • Okay that was stupid and, I feel stupid

  • Why don't we even use the heart as a symbol for love?

  • Everyone knows love is controlled by your prefrontal cortex.

  • ? The heart is a weird choice for love.?

  • ? Emotions reside in your frontal lobe.?

  • ? Next time you try to make a card,?

  • ? You should draw a brain, then you look really smart!?

  • All right, nice! This is kind of terrible..

  • Let's give them some compliments..

  • ? Your smile's nice, glad you practice dental hygiene.?

  • ? You smell pretty good in a decent proximity.?

  • ? You're one of the best things that I've ever seen you see how you maintain a sliver of dignity.?

  • You know, I think you guys are ready for Valentine's

  • Hi everyone!

  • Today's video is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club.

  • If you're anything like me, razors are always a headache

  • I never want to deal with the high prices of razors at the store,

  • which I know nothing about. So I usually just make one razor last the whole year, or even more.

  • This led to me shaving with adult blade, which is just terrible.

  • This is where Dollar Shave Club comes in.

  • They offer affordable, high quality blades shipped to your door every month.

  • Convenience at its finest!

  • For just five dollars (plus free shipping,) you can get their Shit Shower Shave starter kit using the link

  • www.dollarshaveclub.com/gingerpale,which is in the description below.

  • We're talking shave butter, body wash, one wipe Charlie's butt wipes,

  • and their executive razor, which has a premium weight handle,

  • along with a full cassette of razor blades.

  • All for five bucks!

  • And after that, razors are just a few bucks a month

  • ? Like a dream, butt's so clean!?

  • ? Razors, soap, and shaving cream!?

  • But, it's actually butter, and the butter is better in my opinion.

  • Again the link for your $5 Shit Shower Shave starter kit is

  • www.dollarshaveclub.com/gingerpale.

  • Thank you guys over at Dollar Shave Club,

  • and thank you guys for your support!

  • Happy Valentines, and don't forget to Like and Subscribe for more!

  • *music*

Hi, I'm GingerPale!

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 US valentine shave chalk razor stupid love

Valentines

  • 24 2
    Lin Jiff posted on 2021/07/28
Video vocabulary