Hmm, what is this place?

Uh. [sniffing]

Uh. Huh?

[sniffing] Ooh.

Squidward, did you do all this?

Well, I figured if I have to stay here,

I might as well make it livable.

Lard cake?

If you make me lard cakes every morning,

Squiddy, you can do anything you want.

Ah-ah-ah-ah, the etiquette spoon says, "eat like a gentleman."

Ah.

A gentleman?

Watch me, idiot.

A gentleman eats like this.

Holy halibut! Can he actually be taught?

I can mold you.

I can squeeze this lump of clay into a cultured sophisticate

I will make you the most tolerable roommate

of all time.

You'll be my roommate-sterpiece.

More lard cakes, please.

[humming]

Hah.

Wow.

Hehe.

[sighing]

Huh? [groaning]

- Hahaha. - Mmm.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Ah.

Hmm.

Ah ha!

[grunting]

[kissing]

[kissing]

[humming]

[laughing]

[chattering]

[music playing and chattering]

Culture lovers, welcome to the Classy Kiosk.

I am Squidtacular!

And this is my protege, Patrick-panase!

He taught me everything I blow.

And now get ready to

feel the art!

[humming]

Yes. [humming]

[audience chattering]

[mumbling]

[audience gasping]

[audience chattering]

What?!

Hey, watch me, everyone!

I will now bedazzle your dazzlers

with interpretive dance.

[humming]

[humming]

My turn.

[humming]

[cheering]

Who knew that Patrick could dance like an angel?

Ah. Bravo. Bravo.

Oh, Mr. Krabs, you dropped this.

Hehehe.

Patrick-panase! Patrick-panase!

You make a better Squidward, than Squidward does.

[laughing]

- I do? - Huh?

[laughing]

Ha.

[laughing]

Hey, stop making those noises! Those are my noises!

[sighing]

- Hah. - Huh.

- Hah. - Huh.

- Hah. - Huh!

- Hah, hah. - Hah, hah.

Patrick is the best Squidward!

[cheering]

So, Squidward, what do you think of your new protege, huh?

New protege... [grumbling]

...he stinks!

And he's not a better me! He's an imposter!

Hmm. Well, if Patrick makes a better Squidward,

maybe you'd make a better Patrick.

[laughing]

Yeah, right. I would make a better Patrick.

A-- Wait a minute, that's it! That'll teach him!

Oh, thanks, SpongeBob. [kissing]

Oh, wait a minute, Squidward.

You dropped your chee--

Zee next morning...

[alarm clock ringing]

Huh huh. Well, Patrick, time for another lovely day

in the flower garden of life.

Hah.

[mumbling]

I love you, brick. Ooh.

I love you, brick. Ooh.

I love you, brick. Ooh.

Squidward, you kelphead,

what did you do to my beautiful house?

Define "do".

Dah! Don't put my art up your nose, you credent!

I might need that some day. Duh.

Hah.