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  • The trickster God of Asgard has made many enemies over his long life, and it's finally

  • caught up to him.

  • The notorious criminal and villain Loki has been captured by the intergalactic overlord

  • known as The Grandmaster, who has held a grudge against him for a long time.

  • And for those who offend the Grandmaster, there's only one fate: Fighting for their

  • lives in the arenas for the entertainment of alien visitors from around the Galaxy.

  • But this isn't just about a show.

  • This is about punishment.

  • The Grandmaster has been searching far and wide for the perfect opponent to go up against

  • Loki.

  • He wants to pit the Asgardian trickster against someone who is sure to give him the beating

  • of his life.

  • He's zeroed in on the most brutal warrior in the galaxy, a legendary fighter who strikes

  • fear into the heart of anyone they cross.

  • Now he just needs to use the tractor beam to summon him to the arena.

  • Just as he is inputting the coordinates, a bee lands on his hand, causing the Grandmaster's

  • finger to slip and enter an eight instead of a five.

  • The tractor beam misses the warrior entirely, and instead, it hits...

  • You.

  • You're right in the middle of eating a corn dog when the tractor beam picks you up and

  • deposits you directly in the arena.

  • Here we go again.

  • You barely survived all those horror movie villains, not to mention the intergalactic

  • space warrior and the zombie piggy, but now you've got to face an actual God?

  • How are you going to defeat Loki?

  • First, some good news is.

  • Loki isn't quite as physically strong as his brother Thor.

  • A fight with him would have likely lasted about as long as it took for him to throw

  • his hammer at you and send you flying into the next galaxy.

  • But what Loki lacks in brute strength, he makes up for in everything else.

  • The adopted son of the king of Asgard, Odin, he plotted from a young age to have his brother

  • exiled so he could usurp the throne from his father.

  • He even unleashed the deadly weapon the Destroyer on his brother's adopted home of Earth before

  • being defeated.

  • But his next attack would be on an even bigger scale.

  • Teaming up with an army of carnivorous bug aliens, he invaded Earth and attempted to

  • conquer the entire planet.

  • It took the full force of the newly formed Avengers, including a ruthless beating from

  • the Hulk, to finally stop him, after which he was imprisoned on Asgard.

  • He promptly used the next crisis to fake his death, impersonate his father, and escape

  • justice for his crimes.

  • This guy sounds terrible!

  • Well, not entirely.

  • While posing as King, he mostly liked to put on plays that portrayed him as a fallen hero.

  • And when he and Thor wound up imprisoned on the Grandmaster's planet by their evil sister

  • Hela, Loki wound up siding with his brother and engineering their escape - which probably

  • explains why the Grandmaster is so mad right now.

  • He seemed to have turned over a new leaf, but this new look on life ended abruptly when

  • he the evil space tyrant Thanos killed him.

  • Wait a minute, if Loki is dead, then how is he about to kill you?

  • Well, after Thanos won and erased half the universe, the Avengers had to do some time

  • travel.

  • That involved a stop in 2012, right after Loki's attempt to conquer Earth.

  • In the chaos, Loki, fresh off his biggest attack ever, managed to escape.

  • And he's likely going to get right back up to his old tricks while everyone still

  • thinks he's dead.

  • So much for all that character development.

  • So Loki probably isn't going to back off if you say, “Hey, I know your brother, and

  • he'd be really mad if you killed me!”.

  • No, you're going to have to beat him.

  • And honestly, compared to some of the guys you've had to fight - he doesn't look

  • too scary!

  • He's a scrawny guy who looks like he's about to ask you to pick a card, any card.

  • You think that maybe you should just try to fight him one-on-one!

  • You could probably get in a few good punches, and maybe even take him out before he has

  • a chance to react.

  • Loki might not look intimidating, but looks can be deceiving.

  • He may look like an Asgardian, but that's just an enchantment.

  • He's actually a Frost Giant, and with that supernatural size comes supernatural strength.

  • He was able to go toe-to-toe with many of the Avengers, although he couldn't match

  • the strength of his brother or the Hulk.

  • He can also shrug off a lot of damage since we saw that he was alive to complain after

  • being slammed against the floor by the Hulk dozens of times.

  • But any lack of strength he has is more than made up for with his supernatural speed and

  • agility, exemplified by him being able to pluck an arrow shot by Hawkeye right out of

  • the air.

  • And you?

  • Well, you're a regular guy with a spear in an arena.

  • Tough luck.

  • But don't give up just yet, because there's more good news for you!

  • Loki's a showman.

  • He's also here in this arena against his will, but he's not interested in simply

  • killing you and moving on.

  • He's probably thinking of a way to escape just like you are, and the odds are he's

  • more interested in getting revenge against the Grandmaster than he is in ending your

  • life.

  • This means if you don't make him angry, the fight could go on for a while.

  • So grab that spear, and start sparring.

  • Maybe you'll learn a little about his fighting style, and you can get an idea about some

  • weak spots.

  • The problem is...things aren't always what they appear with Loki.

  • Loki might be strong, fast, and durable, but his biggest weapon is his command of Asgardian

  • magic.

  • He's a master sorcerer and is notorious for his illusions.

  • He can turn himself invisible and create hologram duplicates of himself to confuse his opponents.

  • So at any time, you might find yourself fighting twenty Lokis - or even no Lokis at all!

  • Fortunately, the Grandmaster had the bright idea to build his arena on a desert planet,

  • which means you're surrounded by sand.

  • Grab some and put it in your pocket, and when Loki pulls this trick, throw some at him while

  • being sure to shoutPocket sand!”

  • The sand will pass right through the holograms, but it'll hit the genuine article - and

  • bam, then you have your real target.

  • But isolating the real Loki isn't the end of your problems, because sometimes, Loki

  • isn't Loki at all.

  • He can change his appearance entirely, shape-shifting into other people like Thor, Odin, and Captain

  • America, but he can change his physical shape into non-humans as well, as the unfortunate

  • Thor found out when he was young.

  • He found what looked like a snake in the gardens of Asgard and the curious boy picked it up,

  • only for the snake to transform itself into Loki and use the opportunity to stab his brother.

  • So if you manage to corner Loki too tightly in the arena, he might just turn into a wasp,

  • sting you, and fly away.

  • This might actually be your best shot at him though.

  • When Loki transforms, he makes himself more vulnerable.

  • While he can reshape his appearance, he doesn't seem to be able to completely defy the laws

  • of physics.

  • So if he turns himself into a small animal to escape a tight spot - and then finds himself

  • in a tighter spot - he might be out of luck.

  • Look around the arena as you dodge swings of Loki's sword and see if you can spot

  • any pots or bags.

  • Those might just be more useful than any weapon since if you can trap Loki in one of them

  • when he's shapeshifting, he won't be able to get back to his normal form without finding

  • himself in a very uncomfortable position.

  • Of course, then there's another problem.

  • What happens when he does eventually get out.

  • Maybe the Grandmaster will accept that trapping Loki in a sack counts as a win.

  • Maybe he won't make you actually finish him.

  • He seems like a reasonable guy, right?

  • Well, not really.

  • And if Loki comes out of the trap alive, even for a second, you're in trouble.

  • Now you're once again up against a master tactician, fighter, and sorcerer - and now

  • you've made him mad.

  • Loki does have one other weakness - his pride.

  • He thinks he's the greatest guy in the world, and he loves to talk about it.

  • I mean, this is a guy who faked his death, then put on a series of shows all about his

  • heroic death.

  • And you know a lot about Loki.

  • So why not put that to work.

  • Your best chance to survive now may be to let him know you're his biggest fan.

  • And he might not want to kill someone who could be on his side.

  • As soon as the fight begins, make Loki think you're excited to fight him.

  • Talk about all his most famous exploits.

  • He won't want the fight to be over quickly both for his showman qualities and because

  • he loves hearing people talk about him.

  • You'll still probably have to dodge some spear thrusts, and be sure not to turn your

  • back on him, but you're far more likely to survive those early rounds this way.

  • And now it's time for the one sentence that could change everything.

  • “I think I can get us both out of here.”

  • That's right, you're about to pull one over on the greatest con artist in this dimension

  • and probably a few others too.

  • Because while Loki is brilliant, he's not a psychic - and he wants to get out of here

  • just as much as you do.

  • He doesn't know you, he doesn't have any reason to mistrust you or suspect that you

  • too are a master of deception, and this might be your best shot to get him in a vulnerable

  • position.

  • Just keep on playing out the fight, while you fill him in on your plan.

  • You're going to get the drop on Grandmaster, and to do that - he has to let you trap him.

  • That way, you can get the supposedly defeated Loki over to the evil overlord, open the sack

  • to present your bested opponent - and then Loki leaps out and stabs Grandmaster just

  • like he did to his brother all those years ago.

  • At least, that's what you're telling him will happen.

  • If your lies pass his insight roll, then Loki might just go along with your idea.

  • He pretends that he is cornered in the middle of the fake fight, leading him to transform

  • into something small to escape.

  • You then trap his miniature form in a small vessel you found and whisper that it's all

  • going to plan and that now you're going to bring him to the Grandmaster.

  • Except you're not just going to take him to Grandmaster.

  • This is the only opportunity you have.

  • As soon as he's trapped, you seal him in it nice and tight in any way you can, like

  • cinching up the bag you found with a super tight knot.

  • Hope you remember your Boy Scout training!

  • Then, once he's trapped, you don't waste a moment.

  • You slam that bag against the arena floor as hard and fast as you can to disorient him.

  • Feel free to yellHulk Smashwhile you do it.

  • And then while he's stunned, take whatever weapon you have on hand and finish the job!

  • That's right, your plan wasn't a multi-step lesson in treachery, you just had to catch

  • him in a bag and slam him into the ground!

  • You beat the trickster god with the one thing he wasn't expecting, a scheme so basic and

  • stupid that he would walk right into it.

  • He probably had an elaborate plan for how he'd get one over on your around step nine

  • or ten of what he imagined your plan to be, but there's no way you can think as many

  • moves ahead as he thought you could.

  • So this time you got him...right?

  • Well you can never be sure with Loki, but the Grandmaster seems to buy it at least.

  • You're declared the victor, given a shiny new trophy, and now it's time foryour

  • next match!

  • Wait, did he say next match?

  • And is that a giant rock monster?

  • You know, you technically weren't even supposed to be here, so maybe you can convince the

  • Grandmaster to just send you home instead.

  • After all, you did help him get revenge on Loki.

  • You really don't want to try your luck in another match.

  • And what do you know, it worked!

  • You're back at home, although you should probably get a new corn dog, this one has

  • been lying on the ground for a while.

  • But then again, the kitchen is awfully far awayeh it's probably still good.

  • Now there's nothing to do but enjoy your victory and watch some TV.

  • And that shiny new trophy from your adventure will look pretty good on your mantle.

  • Wait, did your trophy always have that green band around it?

  • And doesn't it kind of look like it's glaring at you?

  • It couldn't be...nah.

  • It's probably nothing...right?

  • For another battle against a notorious Marvel wild card, check outYou vs. Deadpool - How

  • Can You Defeat and Survive Him”, or check out this video instead.

The trickster God of Asgard has made many enemies over his long life, and it's finally

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How to Actually Beat Loki from Marvel's Disney + TV Show

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    Summer posted on 2021/06/27
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