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  • A man walks into a bar.

  • In a corner seat, a group of women quietly judge him.

  • He's ok, not bad-looking, but nothing special.

  • Fast-forward a couple of hours and those same women that hadn't shown much interest in

  • this guy are swooning over him.

  • They hang on his every word, blush when he looks them in the eyes, and when they leave

  • the bar, they think about him all night long.

  • What's this guy's secret?

  • What did he do that made him so attractive?

  • Today we'll reveal all, and perhaps you can also work on being more like him.

  • First of all, what's up with looks, are they really that important?

  • Ok, so this is complicated.

  • A group of young women in one study was asked this question and they all came back with

  • different answers, but the main theme was that they weren't all after that picture-perfect

  • guy.

  • In fact, many of them said focusing mainly on the body alone wasshallow.”

  • This is what one woman said, “I'm looking for the personality in the picture of their

  • body and I'm not getting that necessarily from someone that posts a picture of their

  • washboard abs.”

  • While there might be a lot of guys out there that are obsessed with their bodies and post

  • pictures of their post-work-out muscles at every opportunity, most of the women said

  • men's preoccupation with their bodies doesn't bode well for a long-term relationship.

  • In fact, one woman said this, “I really love that dad bods are inthat's the

  • perfect body, guys who are having fun and a little bit of a tummy.”

  • A psychologist named Jeremy Nicholson wrote in Psychology Today that what women find most

  • attractive is a man that shows some amount of self-care.

  • He said that a guy who seems like he takes care of himself might show a woman that he

  • is capable of taking care of her and any future children they might have.

  • So, it's not about being perfect, it's more about not being a slob.

  • Men that really are obsessed with their bodies might give signs to a prospective partner

  • that they care more about themselves than they ever will about her or future offspring.

  • Sure, if the woman is a fitness fanatic she might well want to date someone who is also

  • a fitness fanatic, but in general, a man doesn't need a washboard stomach to attract a woman.

  • Magazines and movies featuring perfect bodies breed insecurity and insecurity is what companies

  • want you to feel.

  • There are some other things, too, such as the majority of women are attracted to men

  • that are taller than them.

  • It's not always the case, but studies have shown it's what most women want.

  • As for the face of a man, the average woman will prefer a symmetrical face.

  • This might seem weird, but according to science symmetry of the facial features is a sign

  • of healthy genes.

  • One scientist wrote that symmetry suggestsfewer genetic and environmental disturbances

  • such as diseases, toxins, malnutrition or genetic mutations.”

  • Women on average also tend to be more attracted to men who have a kind of V-shape body, rather

  • than an egg shape.

  • Shoulders that are quite large and a waist that doesn't bulge too much are things that

  • might be attractive, but science also says women tend to focus less on this than men

  • do.

  • As we said, it's more about taking care of yourself than it is about getting the perfect

  • body.

  • Studies also say that a masculine face is more attractive to women on average, but that's

  • not always the case.

  • Research has shown that men with masculine faces often give off signs of dominance to

  • women, which could show they are assertive and competitive and want to dominate in all

  • that they do.

  • But the same research said these types of men are also assumed to be guys that are better

  • at a fling, a one-night stand, than men with more feminine faces who women tend to think

  • have high prestige with their buddies and family.

  • Women might want to have a longer-term relationship with these men due to their psychological

  • attractiveness, intelligence, their ability to hold a conversation and build rapport.

  • Sticking with the face, there's a lot you can do to be attractive.

  • Studies have shown that women are less attracted to guys that look stressed out and don't

  • get enough sleep or look ragged in general.

  • Bags under the eyes are not the best thing to have, for the reason that it could mean

  • elevated stress hormones, which might relate to not having a great immune system.

  • One psychologist in Scotland explained it like this, “Women seem to be able to detect

  • the men who've got the strongest immune response, and they seem to find them the most

  • attractive.”

  • So again, taking care of yourself can be as good as being born with those chiseled features.

  • As for the hair on the body, this seems to differ from country to country, but in general,

  • women prefer men with not so much body hair.

  • Some studies based in China, the US, and New Zealand seemed to point to this, that not

  • much hair on the chest and other parts of the trunk was the most attractive to women.

  • Although women in Britain preferred some hair as opposed to no hair.

  • In all, keeping that hair in check might be the way to go.

  • In one study, a large number of women from Turkey and Slovakia were shown pictures of

  • guys with either bald chests or hairy chests.

  • The men's heads were not in the photos.

  • The thing was, it was the same men in each photo.

  • In one image he had his chest hair and in the other, he'd shaven it off.

  • Quite incredibly, in both countries, only 20 percent of the women liked the image of

  • the man with a hairy chest.

  • Still, different studies have revealed different results, which has made some scientists think

  • there's more to this than meets the eye.

  • Perhaps a hairy chest is fashionable during some periods in certain countries, or perhaps

  • a woman's liking for hair or no hair is affected by her hormones at the time of looking

  • at the pictures.

  • Then there's facial hair, which some studies have suggested is attractive to women if it

  • is well-groomed.

  • One Australian study found that men with full beards were designated by female participants

  • as being mature, aggressive, and masculine.

  • Men with only light beards were seen as being dominant, and guys with light stubble won

  • out, being the most attractive to the women in the study.

  • It might depend on where you live, too.

  • In some countries, beards on men are less liked than smooth skin.

  • This might just be cultural, but it could also be linked to evolution.

  • Scientists say that a full beard could make women think of hidden ticks and parasites.

  • In general, it seems you can't go wrong with a neat bit of stubblealthough it

  • should not be patchy.

  • Ok, so to recap.

  • You might have better luck with a woman who is a bit shorter than you.

  • You don't need to be an Adonis, but your chances with women will be better if you at

  • least groom yourself and get enough sleep.

  • If you like your beard, fine, but in general a bit of stubble is the way to go.

  • As for that hair on your trunk, it seems a little is better than lots on average.

  • You can't really change your facial features, but rest assured, some women will go for feminine

  • features and others will go for more masculine features.

  • What's much more important is how to hold yourself, how you speak, what your body movements

  • suggest, and how you come across in general.

  • All these things you can work on.

  • Ok, so let's imagine you've been using a dating site.

  • One thing we should point out here is that an older man gets a larger dating pool compared

  • to women of the same age.

  • That's because more women are interested in older men than men are interested in older

  • women.

  • According to the experts, many women see older men as more financially stable, more mature,

  • and less prone to cheating so better fathers for children they might have together.

  • We can't really give you a perfect age gap, though.

  • All we can say is if you are say, 35, and she is 25, there's absolutely no reason

  • you can't have a successful relationship.

  • And before you start thinking this is all about 'daddy issues', a study involving

  • 173 women who were dating men 10 or more years older than them came to the conclusion that

  • this wasn't the case.

  • Many women just like older guys, something that has been called theGeorge Clooney

  • Effect.”

  • Evolutionary psychology research has said that in general women will look for a man

  • that is slightly older than her, but you shouldn't sweat it too much regarding the age gap.

  • If it feels right for you and for her, and you are both adults, then go for it.

  • Countless studies have shown that age differences can be just fine.

  • Still, research has said that the older male may have to show that not only is he responsible,

  • financially secure, but he may have to have a fair amount of social charisma.

  • This charisma is often noticeable when women see you interact with your buddies.

  • It's actually very important, not only what you say to her, but what you say to them.

  • There was a well-known study published in 2010 called, “Men's Sense of Humor and Women's

  • Responses to Courtship Solicitations: An Experimental Field Study.”

  • Basically, a scene was set up in which a guy was with two of his friends in a bar.

  • The guys made themselves noticeable to a group of women who were sat nearby.

  • What happened next was one guy told a joke and his friends laughed a lot.

  • Notably, the jokes were not crude or sexual in nature.

  • Later, the man who had told the joke asked one of the women for her phone number.

  • The same scenario was repeated with other women, except the guy that told the joke changed.

  • The upshot was that the man who had told the joke had three times more chance of getting

  • the phone number.

  • Later, the person conducting the study asked the women about the men.

  • They agreed that the joke teller seemed more attractive and more intelligent.

  • Showing that you can hold people's attention, showing that you understand the complexities

  • of life through humor, is definitely attractive.

  • It also shows that you might make her laugh one day, or make her children laugh.

  • In a separate study, humor was tested again, and this is what the researchers wrote in

  • conclusion: “Consistent with the Social Transformation

  • Model of Humor introduced in this article, individuals, particularly men, expressing

  • humor were rated as more desirable than non-humorous individuals for a serious relationship and

  • marriage.”

  • Still, the study also said the men might have to be physically attractive.

  • There is also how you interact with strangers.

  • Let's say you are on a first date with a woman and you've decided to go to a restaurant.

  • What do you think it says to her if you are rude to the waitress?

  • It shows her that this might be a personality trait of yours.

  • Sure, if you show assertiveness and politely send some food back it might be attractive

  • to her, but being rude in general is a big turn-off.

  • There's something called theHalo Effect.”

  • This means you might just become more physically attractive to someone because you showed an

  • attractive personality trait.

  • In one study called, “Is Kindness Physically Attractive?”, women were showed pictures

  • of men, except each picture came with a word that described the person's personality.

  • Sometimes the word would be positive and sometimes it would be negative.

  • The same pictures had been shown to participants before, except they were asked to rate the

  • men without any information about their personality.

  • What happened is if a person had a nice word under their photo, they were usually given

  • a higher score for physical attractiveness than if they had no word at all or a negative

  • word.

  • Men were more handsome when they were deemed good guys.

  • One of the researchers wrote, “These findings indicate that human interior psychological

  • activity is related to exterior physical features, and that a human is the whole entity of psychology

  • and physiology.”

  • If that's a mouthful, it means you might look more handsome if she likes the way you

  • are.

  • There was another interesting study related to this in which students on a 6-week summer

  • archaeology course were asked to rate the physical attractiveness of each other on the

  • first day of class.

  • They then did the same on the last day and the scores were dramatically different.

  • One of the researchers said, “Among people who actually know and interact with each other,

  • the perception of physical attractiveness is based largely on traits that cannot be

  • detected from physical appearance alone.”

  • No doubt a lot of you have already experienced this because you've likely met someone who

  • at first you didn't seem to think was very attractive at all, but as time went on, you

  • started to re-assess and then tell your friends, actually this person is really good-looking

  • and you just didn't see it at first.

  • Never underestimate personality.

  • A super-handsome bully with no sense of humor and little intelligence might be able to get

  • a one-night stand every now and again, but they will definitely not be top of the list

  • when it comes to long-term relationships.

  • Then you've probably all heard about women who like guys that take risks, maybe guys

  • that act a little rebellious.

  • This is true to some extent, but not if the guy is totally out of control.

  • Researchers have said that men who takehunter-gatherer riskscan come across as being attractive.

  • In one study, women were asked to rate guys on their behavior.

  • They didn't know that some of the guys were linked to what the researchers calledmodern

  • risksand othershunter-gatherer risks.”

  • The former was risk-taking related to cheating or driving without a seatbelt, and the latter

  • was more about doing extreme sports or going alone into a vast forest.

  • The researchers wrote in their conclusion, “Results confirmed that modern risks were

  • rated as unattractive for both sexes, whereas huntergatherer risks were rated as especially

  • attractive when performed by males.”

  • Playing it safe might not always work out the best, but you already know that.

  • Just have a brain and don't do something that might hurt you badly, because that also

  • isn't attractive regarding long-term partners.

  • Even scars were preferred in some studies by women, again likely related to risk-taking

  • and our past as hunter-gatherers.

  • In one study, photos of men were showed to women and then the same photos were showed

  • to other women except a facial scar had been photoshopped to the face.

  • With the scar, men were ranked higher for short-term relationships but not long-term

  • relationships.

  • Maybe women don't mind having a fling with a rough and tumble kind of man.

  • Let's face it, if you're ever going to become a father the woman you are with will

  • want you to be a loving father, someone who puts his family before anything else.

  • Various studies have shown that certain things you do in life can point to you being a caring

  • kind of person who has nurturing qualities.

  • One of them, no kidding, is just walking dogs, or being especially playful and affectionate

  • with them.

  • So, you met a girl in the park while playing around with a dog that evidently loves you

  • more than anything.

  • You then went out on a date and made her laugh while being very friendly and courteous to

  • the waiting staff.

  • Then you dropped the bombshell, you do volunteer work at the local orphanage.

  • Another study we found was titled, “Selflessness is sexy: reported helping behavior increases

  • desirability of men and women as long-term sexual partners.”

  • It revealed that altruistic behavior makes a person attractive because we've just evolved

  • to think that the helpers of this world will be better partners and better parents.

  • These people might also be seen as having better genes since they have the strength

  • to make some sacrifices for others.

  • As the scientists wrote, selflessly helping people gives you fitness points.

  • In this study, the researchers gave photos of people to others and asked them to rate