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  • Hey, Squidward!

  • Still riding to work on a machine, I see!

  • Don't say anything, Squidward, remember your karma.

  • What? [groaning]

  • Well, what do you think?

  • Do ya love it?

  • Mr. Tentacles, I simply cannot express

  • my true feelings about your work.

  • Yes, I realize

  • my artistic brilliance can be overwhelming.

  • Quite frankly... [sniffing]

  • It stinks!

  • Yes, and-- Now, see here!

  • Maybe this museum is too low-brow

  • for this masterpiece.

  • [gasping] How dare you! Be gone!

  • [groaning]

  • And take your putrid painting with you!

  • It has no place in this museum's art collection!

  • Won't anyone save my precious painting?!

  • Got it!

  • SpongeBob.

  • It's empty.

  • See? Empty.

  • Wow, Squidward, how'd you know that?

  • Well, let's see. Maybe 'cause I have a brain.

  • Oh. Squidward, the grill is on.

  • Oh, really?

  • And do you think I don't know that this grill is--

  • [screaming]

  • I gotta do something!

  • [screaming]

  • Okay, Squidward, this should help.

  • [screaming]

  • Don't worry, Squidward! I'll catch you!

  • [groaning]

  • [screaming]

  • Uh. I can fix this.

  • [screaming]

  • This time I gotcha!

  • [screaming]

  • [gasping]

  • [mumbling]

  • [singing]

  • [growling]

  • If I'm not allowed to be cool anymore

  • then neither is SpongeBob.

  • [screaming and singing]

  • Uh. Uh-huh. [screaming]

  • [screaming and singing]

  • Zoop, zop, zlim, zlam, jam! Bam!

  • It's about time you got here!

  • Here you go, Your Majesty.

  • - I can't drink that. - Why not?

  • Are you blind? Just look at it.

  • What about it?

  • That lemon has three seeds in it.

  • That's an odd number!

  • I can't eat anything odd numbered.

  • Fine, I'll just take it out.

  • No! No! It's already contaminated

  • by the bad lemon! It won't work!

  • Hmm, that's two things in this house that won't work.

  • Then go fix them.

  • Two things that won't work!

  • I've changed my mind. I want soup instead.

  • Okay, don't move.

  • Here you go. It's alphabet soup. I made it special.

  • [groaning]

  • Condensed soup from a can? Disgusting!

  • Now you've ruined my appetite! Go fetch me something to read!

  • Oh, okay. How about this?

  • [gasping]

  • Get that away from me!

  • You know I'm allergic to newsprint!

  • Haha. Ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands,

  • it reminded me of something a friend of mine did...

  • at his job!

  • [horn blowing]

  • Four o'clock, time for my stories.

  • Hurry up, they won't hold the show

  • while you laze around.

  • [whistling]

  • Hey, where you going?

  • To my job.

  • You have a job?

  • Why wouldn't I? I'm not some lazy,

  • inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day.

  • Say, where can I get one of these... jobs?

  • Oh, they're everywhere.

  • Especially if you're green and have six tentacles.

  • Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one, so I can stop mooching

  • off my friends and they can get back

  • to their lives!

  • This isn't my show.

  • SpongeBob, the remote control is broken!

  • Get over here and fix it!

  • I've got a better idea!

  • Why don't I call someone whose job it is to fix it?

  • You know why? Because when I need a job done,

  • I get someone with a job to do that job!

  • What are you saying?

  • [screaming]

  • Hey, Squidward, you want me to cast out

  • over here so you can watch me?

  • How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?

  • Okay.

  • [groaning]

  • Hey, watch where you're swinging that--

  • SpongeBob, be careful with--

  • [screaming]

  • Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob?

  • You haven't eaten in days.

  • What about you, Patrick?

  • A big boy's gotta eat.

  • Well, you can't have any. And do you know why, SpongeBob?

  • Because your club president is a shell!

  • If you had listened to me, you'd have food, shelter,

  • and a roaring fire.

  • But instead you listened to a talking clam...

  • that tells you nothing!

  • As if the answers to all your problems

  • will fall right out of the sky! [laughing]

  • Fall right out of the sky!

  • Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!

  • We gotta drop the load!

  • [beeping]

  • Praise the Magic Conch!

  • [babbling]

  • I spent the whole day with you

  • doing all kinds of ridiculous things,

  • because you were supposed to explode!

  • You want me to explode?

  • Yes! That's what I've been waiting for!

  • Um, okay. I'll try.

  • [grunting]

  • Gary, you are gonna finish your dessert

  • and you are gonna like it! [laughing]

  • Now it's your turn.

  • That's not what I meant, you barnacle-head!

  • Ooh, good one.

  • No! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!

  • Why would I do that?

  • Because the pie you ate was a bomb.

  • What pie?

  • The one I left sitting on the counter this morning,

  • that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks

  • and I didn't know it was a bomb

  • and you ate it... that pie!

  • Pie? Oh! You mean this pie!

  • I was saving it in my pocket for us to share.

  • Let's eat. Oops!

Hey, Squidward!

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Every Time Squidward Got INSTANT Karma | SpongeBob

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    Summer posted on 2021/06/11
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