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  • I'm sorry about your toe.

  • Thank you.

  • But I'm especially sorry that you delivered what have been--

  • I did a similar, very similar thing to my toe,

  • although it sounds much less pretty.

  • Everything about what happened to you

  • sounds like it was in a nice environment.

  • Well there was a gym, first of all.

  • Right.

  • And art.

  • And mine happened in a hallway on a very unspecial cat

  • scratcher.

  • You know, the cat activity thing,

  • which has been there for a very long time.

  • Do you have a cat?

  • Yes.

  • And you don't know the name-- "cat activity thing?"

  • Well, it's an unspecified object.

  • It's as if someone just took an old cardboard box

  • and put the corrugated thing inside, and then told me

  • it was special.

  • Well, no--

  • No, that's just a box.

  • That's just-- is that my cat?

  • That's not a cat.

  • Oh, that's my cat!

  • Well I wasn't expecting to see my cat on national television.

  • That's Jemmy.

  • And I'm not mad at Jemmy.

  • When it happened.

  • But why, when you hurt your toe, are you angry?

  • When you hurt your toe specifically,

  • why are you angry?

  • Why is one angry at everybody else?

  • But I think that's a unique injury--

  • Because it's not any other digit.

  • Like your finger, you don't get mad at the thing.

  • Because I dislocated my finger, and I wasn't mad at the door.

  • But when you hurt your toe, you're mad at--

  • --at that thing.

  • But also, God forbid anyone should cross your path

  • when it happens.

  • Anyway, we don't have to spend time further on this.

  • Well it sounds-- no, no, we should.

  • Because first of all, that is not a cat device.

  • It's a box.

  • No, I know.

  • That's true.

  • That's true.

  • And that's not how we keep her.

  • That's not what she thinks of as her home--

  • And is that what you tripped over?

  • --or shelter.

  • No.

  • That is purposeful.

  • That is a box.

  • That is a thing that has a place in the world.

  • This is something I bought.

  • You know, we love this--

  • we're crazy about this cat.

  • Doesn't seem like it.

  • No, I know.

  • You're hearing-- oh, there's Jemmy again.

  • Yeah, we have a camera in your house.

  • No, I don't know what it is.

  • You guys know.

  • I don't want to waste more of America's time,

  • or any real estate here, frankly.

  • OK.

  • But you're OK.

  • You stubbed your toe.

  • I'm all right, basically.

  • But it's taken a long time for my toe to--

  • are they doing this to me?

  • No, not at all.

  • Are they making her, like, make her stop.

  • No, they're doing this to you.

  • Exactly.

  • I was getting to that.

  • I was getting to that.

  • Are they saying, like, she's nuts.

  • She's nuts.

  • Yes, like, just go along with it, Ellen.

  • Do you guys miss the mimes now?

  • And you're like, oh no, there's one thing I do like less.

  • A conversation with that one.

  • Did you fly-- Sarah Jessica, did you fly out for this?

  • I did.

  • I did.

  • All right.

  • All right.

  • Who just asked that question?

  • Now I'm being you.

  • I'm doing your interior monologue.

  • Oh, I see.

  • What you think what I'm saying inside?

  • Yeah.

  • Good lord, did we fly her out or did somebody else fly her out?

  • No, I'm so happy you're here.

  • You know that.

  • I'm really happy to see you, too.

  • And I want to know--

  • I really am.

  • I mean, I don't say it like, yeah.

  • No, I am.

  • I'm really happy to see you looking well and--

  • Yeah, I'm happy to see you, as well.

  • Really happy.

  • So you live in New York and you don't come out here that much.

  • So I don't see you unless it's on the East Coast or something.

  • That's right.

  • And I want to know about Sex in the City if you don't mind.

  • What do you want--

  • Well, here's what I want to know.

  • It was going to happen, then it wasn't going to happen.

  • Then I think it was going to happen,

  • then you asked Stephen Colbert to be a part of it.

  • Correct.

  • Well, he sort of--

  • he put me in a tough place.

  • Yeah.

  • So you kind of had to ask him.

  • So I said, oh, sure, you play Samantha.

  • Right.

  • But now I'll offer you the same opportunity.

  • I'm going to go across the lands--

  • To ask everyone?

  • And any hosts.

  • But is that the situation?

  • So she's not coming back.

  • But will you-- can still do it without her, right?

  • Yeah.

  • I think there's a period of grief.

  • Yes.

  • A mourning process.

  • Yes.

  • And then perhaps we'll be able to consider, say, for instance,

  • you playing Samantha.

  • That's so me.

  • Yeah.

  • That's who I identify with on that show.

  • That's it.

  • If you could be any char-- ooh, yes.

  • Yeah, right.

  • That is me.

  • I am a sexual beast.

  • And then you like to talk about it a lot, right?

  • I talk about it a lot, I do it a lot.

  • In salty language.

  • Yeah.

  • This is a facade.

  • When you meet me as a real person out in the world--

  • this is my talk show persona.

  • So first of all, let's just answer the question.

  • Is there going to be a Sex in the City?

  • Three?

  • Yeah.

  • No, but there will be a Sex in the City 4.

  • Wouldn't that be hilarious?

  • Just jump in.

  • Yeah.

  • Just skip it.

  • You know what?

  • I don't know.

  • Last week I said no.

  • Because the reality is, it's a brutal companion.

  • But I feel like maybe--

  • I don't know.

  • I just got to make up an answer, because I

  • have absolutely no idea.

  • If you don't know, you don't know.

  • You know, who knows?

  • All right.

  • Yeah, who knows.

  • Who knows?

  • Who knows, perhaps--

  • You should know.

  • --we'll find a way.

  • Right now, I don't know.