Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Happy 10th anniversary to you and Alex.

  • Yes.

  • Congratulations.

  • Thank you, thank you.

  • That's very exciting.

  • Yep, we're still hanging in there.

  • You're hanging in there.

  • What did you do, anything special?

  • We went out to a nice dinner.

  • And I got her a Cartier band, you know, some bling on it.

  • Yeah.

  • That gave her a little bling.

  • She's blingy, you know.

  • Gave her a little bling.

  • But the thing is, when I got the ring, the first one didn't fit,

  • so I had to take it back to get a different size, right?

  • So I'm in there.

  • And I always feel uncomfortable when I go in those stores.

  • Because you know, they're too fancy for me.

  • Are they?

  • Yeah, they're really fancy.

  • I feel out of place.

  • i can just hear my mother in my head going,

  • don't you touch a thing.

  • Don't touch nothing.

  • But they're always, hey, can I get you something--

  • So while I'm sitting there waiting

  • for them to bring the new ring out,

  • this little girl-- she's probably

  • like little 10-year-old little white girl--

  • just comes strolling in there in her little school uniform.

  • And I'm looking like, well, who's with this little girl?

  • But no, she was just sitting there by herself.

  • And she walks over to the counter.

  • She's like, may I see this one, please?

  • And I'm like, what the-- when I was 10,

  • I was chasing down the Good Humor truck, you know?

  • She in here buying Cartier bracelets.

  • It's insane.

  • Yeah.

  • And so I'm just like looking at her.

  • And she's like getting one of those, like, rope bracelets.

  • And they're probably like $500.

  • I don't know.

  • So I'm just looking around the store for somebody

  • to co-sign with me, like this is nuts, right?

  • Like, looking around.

  • And I'm looking at the salesperson,

  • as she's, like, showing.

  • She looks up at me.

  • She's like, oh, you ain't going to mess with my commission.

  • And she just kept going back to work.

  • I couldn't get anybody.

  • I was just looking around, like this is ridiculous.

  • And finally, I caught the eye of the security guard.

  • All right.

  • The security guard.

  • And he gave me the code sign.

  • But it was ever so slight.

  • He was just standing there.

  • And he looked at me.

  • He went-- That's all.

  • It was just this.

  • And I was like, yeah.

  • And then I think the manager saw it too.

  • Because he went right over there and told

  • him to shut the hell up.

  • Man, that is crazy.

  • Isn't that crazy?

  • I mean, how old are your kids now?

  • My kids-- they're almost 10.

  • They're 9.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah.

  • And they're not like that?

  • You keep them grounded.

  • No.

  • God, no.

  • No.

  • Uh-uh.

  • We're grounded.

  • When we fly, we're sitting in coach.

  • You know, yeah.

  • I mean, here's the thing.

  • That's why I hate flying with them,

  • because I got to sit in coach.

  • I always ask my assistant, whatever,

  • to find an excuse why I can't fly with them, you know.

  • Like, book me somewhere else.

  • Like, ooh, I'm going to have to meet you there.

  • I might even get there before you.

  • But I can't-- oh, that coach is horrible.

  • Anyway, sometimes I go, how long is the walk?

  • Can I just walk?

  • So anyway.

  • So my wife-- she goes, uh, babe, you know, uh--

  • Oh, she's smoking again.

  • Yeah, she's smoking again.

  • OK.

  • All right.

  • She said, babe, you know, if you'd like,

  • you can sit here first, and I'll sit back there

  • with the kids in coach.

  • It's OK.

  • And I look at her.

  • I'm like, that is really sweet that she actually believes

  • that, that she'll be OK with it.

  • And also, I know she's just setting me up.

  • That's all.

  • She's just waiting for the day for me to go, oh, OK.

  • And you know, if I do that, that's it for me.

  • I mean, come on.

  • Who does that?

  • I'm sitting in first class drinking champagne.

  • And they're back there, you know, sweating it out, trying

  • to fight for the armrest.

  • Yeah.

  • It's the worst.

  • But yeah, I make my kids fly coach.

  • Because they don't have jobs.

  • What the hell they going sitting in first class?

  • Right.

  • They don't have a job.

  • But you have a job.

  • Why don't you and Alex sit in first class?

  • Because you have jobs.

  • And then they sit in coach.

  • I mean, what's wrong with that?

  • I'm not letting my kids sit back there in coach by themselves.

  • Do you know what kind of creepy people fly back there?

  • No, I don't.

  • Well, those what-- somebody could just

  • talk to them, telling them all kind of crazy stuff.

  • OK.

  • Yeah, you're right.

  • Yeah.

  • Jesus, Ellen.

  • What' wrong with you?

  • I don't know.

  • That's why I don't have kids.

  • Thank--

  • Oh, boy.

  • All right.

  • Wait.

  • Do you even fly coach when you-- because I

  • know Alex is from France.

  • And even internationally, you fly coach?

  • It's hell.

  • Wow.

  • Yes.

  • All right.

  • All right.

  • We have to take a break.

  • More with Wanda Sykes after this.

  • So the Oscars are Sunday.

  • Do you have any predictions, any ideas of--

  • what do you think?

  • Oh, man.

  • OK, I'll be honest with you.

  • You know, I get to vote, right?

  • So I kept putting it off, putting it off, the voting.

  • And then I get this text.

  • And it's like, you have 15 minutes left to vote.

  • I'm getting my nails done, right?

  • I thought that lady was going to smack me.

  • Because I'm trying to get my phone and vote.

  • So I get on the website.

  • And I finally go through the thing.

  • And I'm looking at my watch.

  • And by the time I log in and everything,

  • it was like five minutes left.

  • I just typed in "Black" and voted for everything black.

  • I was like, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman.

  • And I went to the actor site--

  • Regina King.

  • All right.

  • That was it.

  • Submit it-- boom.

  • All right, well--

  • Yeah, I went black.

  • It's Black History Month.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • That's right.

  • Well, BlacKkKlansman is a great choice.

  • It's a really good movie.

  • Yeah, and Green Book is really great too.

  • But did you see Bohemian Rhapsody?

  • I did.

  • I loved the music.

  • I love Queen.

  • I'm a big Queen fan.

  • Well, the teeth were a little distracting for me, though.

  • Well, I know.

  • It took me a while.

  • I was like, man.

  • I know.

  • But it was really--

  • Big chompers.

  • That's what his teeth were like.

  • His teeth weren't that big.

  • Oh, they were.

  • Freddie Mercury's t-- his real--

  • I remember looking at Freddie Mercury and going, damn.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, like, wow.

  • Yeah.

  • No?

  • I remember doing that with Fre--

  • I mean, yeah.

  • He was like, oh, mm, OK.

  • He's got, you know--

  • Right.

  • Yeah.

  • But this is, damn.

  • Right.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • Like, Invisalign wouldn't help that.

  • No.

  • No.

  • You would need, like, a fence.

  • You know?

  • You would have to call a fence company to, like,

  • stick posts in your--

  • to bring that up.

  • Yeah.

  • Invisalign-- no, buddy.

  • I did Invisalign.

  • Did you?

  • I did, yeah.

  • I had a little gap right here.

  • But you have to wear that thing, the guard, at night.

  • Because if you don't, your teeth just

  • try to get back to where they were.

  • They do.

  • They're like, oh, I belong over here.

  • Get you over here.

  • Get over here.

  • You're too close.

  • You're too close.

  • They know where they're supposed to be.

  • That's right.

  • Yeah.

  • But that-- mm-mm.

  • All right.

  • All right.

  • Nothing helped but Invisalign.

  • You're on tour right now.

  • You're shooting a Netflix special in New York City.

  • Yes.

  • When are you shooting it?

  • I'm shooting it next Thursday, Friday.

  • Oh, that's fantastic.

  • February 28, March 1, at Town Hall, New York City.

  • That's great.

  • Yeah.

  • I'm excited.

  • Oh, boy.

  • So you've been on tour a lot.

  • Yes, I've been on tour a lot.

  • And your special was great.

  • I really love you.

  • Thank you very much.

  • Yeah, good job.

  • Thank you.

  • Yeah, really funny.

  • I'm going to curse way more in my special, though--

  • Really?

  • --than what you did.

  • Yeah.

  • I just had one.