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  • So, one of my favorite Instagram accounts is Nicole LePera, a.k.a., The Holistic Psychologist.

  • She just breaks down and articulates certain concepts like the mother wound, the mind-gut connection, disassociation so well.

  • And today she actually shared this post about common core beliefs that just resonated with me.

  • Every single one felt like very relatable or exactly like someone I knew.

  • And I'm pretty sure that Nicole just wakes up every day and chooses personal attack, and I love it, I'm living for it.

  • So, LePera explains that a core belief is a belief created in the subconscious mind between birth to age seven that a person has internalized as a truth or a reality.

  • The reticular activating system, RAS, is this bundle of nerves in the brainstem that filters out information from our environment to confirm our core beliefs.

  • So, once you have a core belief, it's basically a filter that you're looking at reality, and you experience confirmation bias.

  • So, becoming conscious of our core beliefs will allow us to unlearn the ones that we do not like and make new decisions to create new responses.

  • You ready? Here we go.

  • Common core belief number one.

  • I am not worthy, good enough, something is wrong with me.

  • Ha-ha, it's me.

  • The adult behaviors displayed by this belief are self-betrayal, negative self-talk, procrastination, chronic fear of criticism, performing or playing a role and denying one's own needs and boundaries.

  • Common core belief number two.

  • I must betray myself or parts of myself in order to be loved and chosen.

  • The adult behaviors show up as codependency patterns, enabling partners who harm you and themselves, fear of stating your own needs, a lack of boundaries and inability to be vulnerable, avoidance of romantic relationships or losing yourself in romantic relationships.

  • Common core belief number three.

  • I must compete, smear or tear down others in order to win or get what I want.

  • The adult behaviors are fear-based decision making, an inability to collaborate, assuming everyone has negative intentions or is out to get you, black and white polarized thinking and the inability to see a perspective of another.

  • Common core belief number four.

  • People will never stay and will always abandon them.

  • This shows up in adults as insecure attachment in romantic relationships, push and pull behaviors, an inability to follow through with tasks, controlling tendencies and impulsive behaviors, like shopping a ton or changing jobs, or quitting a relationship without being intentional or fully thinking these things through.

  • Common core belief number five.

  • I am unlucky and good things do not happen to me.

  • The adult behaviors are sarcasm as a coping mechanism, playing small, fear over revealing dreams, goals and aspirations, chronic complaining and emotional dumping as connection.

  • And finally, for your last attack, common core belief number six.

  • I am not safe and the world is not safe.

  • This shows up as addiction or negative behaviors as an attempt to regulate the nervous system, isolation, high reactivity, defensiveness, over independence and a lack of resilience.

  • So, chances are, some, if not all not all of these, really spoke to you.

  • And if you think about it, what are the phrases that you have ultimately heard in your family dynamic again and again that solidified some of these beliefs for you?

  • So, my parents, although inadvertently, reinforced the messaging that achievement is everything, that I am only worth as much as my productivity or my education, and that the world wasn't safe so I had to enroll in an adult karate class when I was a child because they thought I would most likely be attacked by an adult as a child and must be able to defend myself.

  • And then also I had to conform to the idea of a good girl, a.k.a., just basically being obedient, in order to be loved and chosen.

  • I really loved this post from her, 'cause I felt like it articulated and demonstrated so much of what we live out unconsciously.

  • And as you know, as I harp for years and years, awareness is the first step towards seeing the invisible and subconscious patterns that guide us.

  • And if we don't like our lives, and our choices, and what we're believing, then once we become aware of them, we can change them.

  • And LePera is all about how to heal these various childhood wounds that we carry around, that we just fricking hate.

  • And she says, healing is about creating a new perspective, intentionally practicing new thoughts and new beliefs, challenging our old ones and stepping away from the beliefs that create these unwanted patterns.

  • It is about consciously creating who you wish to be.

  • So, which of the six beliefs are you working to unlearn?

  • I'm Anna Akana, and thank you to the Patreons who supported today's video.

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So, one of my favorite Instagram accounts is Nicole LePera, a.k.a., The Holistic Psychologist.

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6 Ways You're Ruining Your Life

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/05/07
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