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  • -Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Well, guys, yesterday, The White House

  • had a press briefing, and they announced that

  • they reached out to North Korea to restart nuclear talks

  • but had not heard back.

  • At first, I thought the reason for the lack of response

  • might be that Kim Jong-Un uses a fax machine,

  • but then I remembered Biden does, too, so...

  • Well, hours after The White House said

  • it hadn't received a response from North Korea,

  • Kim Jong-Un's sister made a statement.

  • Listen to this.

  • -This new warning to the Biden administration.

  • She says...

  • -Ooh!

  • -Okay! [ Laughter ]

  • -Okay.

  • Yeah, nice try, North Korea, but we're America.

  • We haven't slept well for the past five years, so...

  • Seriously, only four years without sleep

  • sounds like a bargain.

  • Also, I like that Kim Jong-Un

  • had his sister deliver the message.

  • It's like North Korea's version of,

  • "I heard a noise in America.

  • Go check it out."

  • Oh, and here's some big news.

  • According to U.S. intelligence, Russia and Iran

  • tried to interfere with the 2020 election.

  • Biden's like, "Well, whatever you did, thanks, fellas."

  • Yeah.

  • This is pretty rough news for Trump.

  • It's like losing in Little League

  • and then finding out your dad bribed the ump.

  • Right now, Putin and the ayatollah are on a couch

  • like a Nora Ephron movie.

  • [ Russian accent ] We met hacking the election.

  • He wanted to hack ballots.

  • I wanted to hack Twitter.

  • And we've been together ever since.

  • Well, some business news here.

  • I saw that Mountain Dew is releasing

  • a new sugar-free soda called Frost Bite Zero Sugar.

  • Here's a photo.

  • Yeah, something tells me that if you're drinking

  • a neon-blue drink called Frost Bite,

  • you're not that worried about the sugar content.

  • Meanwhile, I saw that Heinz just launched

  • three new combo condiments called

  • Hanch, Wasabioli, and Tarchup.

  • -Yes!

  • -When asked how they came up with these, Heinz was like,

  • "We got draked -- drunk and baked."

  • I'm actually trying to be a little healthier,

  • so I'm waiting for Tarchup Zero.

  • That's right -- there are three new combo condiments.

  • There's Tarchup, which is tartar sauce and ketchup,

  • Hanch, which is hot sauce and ranch,

  • and Wasabioli, which is wasabi and aioli.

  • They're funny names, but some of the other combos

  • they tried didn't really work out.

  • For example, they tried combining

  • balsamic and hot sauce and got...

  • Then they combined oil, aioli, and mayo and got...

  • And, finally, they combined beef gravy, Italian dressing,

  • and Greek yogurt in a wok with barbecue sauce and got...

  • I mean, that's...

  • This is interesting.

  • A new study found that almost 80% of Manhattan office workers

  • will not return to their workplace full time

  • once their office reopens.

  • Yep, 80% are happy that they won't return to their workplace,

  • while the other 20% are parents.

  • "I'll be back in 15 hours.

  • You guys know how to tuck yourselves in, right?

  • Cool. See ya."

  • Yeah, bosses are already trying to get people to come back.

  • They're like, "Come on.

  • There's free Hanch in the kitchen."

  • It sort of makes sense.

  • It's basically, "Do I want my three-bedroom office

  • with a private bathroom

  • or do I want to share a cubicle with Frank,

  • the guy in the office who burns microwave popcorn?"

  • [ Chuckles ]

  • There's someone here that does that.

  • I forget who it is.

  • I'll find out. I always smell it.

  • Is that you, Quest? -Yeah.

  • -I go, "Come on, man.

  • If you're gonna do it, just make -- Just stop it.

  • You know, I know you'll waste 10 kernels.

  • Just don't --"

  • "I got to push all the way.

  • Got to get all those kernels popped."

  • You ruined it, burned it, and the whole office smells like it.

  • -2 minutes and 37 seconds. I got it to a science.

  • -No way, man. No, no.

  • I'm sensor pop all the way, man. -Sensor pop?

  • -Yeah, man. You got to do it by the sensors.

  • You type "popcorn sensor," and it shuts off automatically.

  • -It does? -Yeah.

  • -I got to try that. -It totally works.

  • You know how they do it? -How do they do it?

  • -What do you think? Any guesses?

  • -Um, I would guess that it's, like -- It's an audio thing.

  • Like, it's -- Once, you know --

  • But you're talking microwave oven, right?

  • -Correct.

  • -Once the microwave, like, no longer hears

  • the popping sound or, you know, once the pops are a certain,

  • you know, distance apart or amount of time apart,

  • then it shuts down.

  • -Because you think it slows -- the popping slows down to --

  • -I know the popping slows down as the popcorn --

  • That's -- Here's what we know.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • When you cook some popcorn... -Uh-huh.

  • -...the closer it is to being completely done,

  • the less it's gonna pop, because, you know,

  • the kernels have already popped.

  • But there may be some strays, you know.

  • -You got a couple strays there, which totally

  • debunks your theory, so, no, you're wrong, unfortunately.

  • -Uh, I don't know. Okay. How's it work?

  • -Uh, uh...steam.

  • -Ah! -There you go, everybody.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -And now back to the show.

  • [ Bell dings ] -Speaking of...

  • Speaking of working from home,

  • there's a new app for Zoom users.

  • Check this out.

  • -The Zoom Escaper app.

  • It allows Zoom users to sabotage their own calls

  • with sound effects, like a crying baby.

  • You can also make it seem as if you have a bad connection.

  • -Yeah. That's right -- an app that will make it seem like

  • your Zoom has technical difficulties.

  • So, basically, these guys invented Zoom.

  • And, finally, some news for Mega Millions players.

  • Watch this.

  • -An unclaimed Mega Millions ticket

  • purchased last year is set to expire tomorrow.

  • The winning ticket was bought in Rhode Island

  • on St. Patrick's Day 2020.

  • It's worth $1 million, and the rightful owner

  • has less than 24 hours to accept the lump sum.

  • -You know last March, a guy left the ticket in his office

  • next to a half-eaten sandwich, thinking,

  • "I'll take care of this tomorrow."

-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.

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