That's right.

By trying to sell them something.

We are a capitalist country.

That's as far as I know.

That's what this nation does.

Yeah, well, our newest sponsor is a product designed specifically for women, So let's take a look.

Women all across the country are discovering blueness.

Busy moms used blueness.

Famous actresses used Lunesta.

If you see a woman and think, what's her secret?

It's probably luminous.

Wow, that sounds great.

But what is it?

96% of luminous users reported an improvement in just six weeks.

And improvement in what lunacy is discreet and small enough to fit in your purse like makeup or like birth control.

What is it?

Well, tell you what.

It's not no preservatives, no GMOs and no animal products unless you count eels.

Okay, what does it do?

Lunacy is effective at preventing that female problem.

You know, the one you know, I honestly don't.

Blueness keeps you dry.

Yet moist lunacy is strong enough for a man, but also a giant leap for mankind.

That doesn't even make sense.

Lunacy is FDA wait listed and has a four star rating from JD Power and Associates.

Luna's has more vitamin E than a raw onion.

Luminous has a 2.9% a p r.

Don't take lewdness.

If you have a history of illness, don't ask your doctor.

Before taking Lunesta in clinical trials, some women were turned into wax figures.

Okay, what does it do?

Side effects include itching, dryness and minding your own damn business.

Okay, You know what?

I'm out.

I don't care.

Did we mention luminous has pockets in his pockets?

Results may vary.

I'm sure I know what that is.

Oh, I know what it is.

I'm wearing one now.

Okay?

I'm very confused.