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  • I am surprised.

  • Shaquille O'Neil, in the movie.

  • And it surprised me, because I've met him a bunch of times,

  • and he's such a funny guy.

  • And you put him in a movie, you know, to be an actor.

  • And he's funny.

  • He's great.

  • He's funnier than any of us.

  • Yeah.

  • I swear to god.

  • There's all comedians in the movie,

  • every time he does a scene.

  • Everybody walks away, and can go:

  • "Shaq is funnier than me."

  • He's like the nicest, greatest guy.

  • And we hang out with the Shaq,

  • and we all play basketball.

  • Everyone of us on the set.

  • That's right.

  • You're fanatic for basketball.

  • Yeah.

  • You play it all the time.

  • Yes, all the time.

  • And the Shaq's there, so we're like,

  • "Let's play ball with Shaq."

  • So we play ball with Shaq.

  • Full court, running up and down,

  • Shaq is swatting,

  • Shaq's in our face,

  • and we're like "yes~~"

  • So happy to get swatted.

  • It's an honor to be rejected by Shaq.

  • OK, then comes this thing.

  • So we play basketball,

  • we got to get back to the movie set.

  • Shaq has to take a shower.

  • So everyone's like "Alright, we'll see you later, Shaq."

  • In my head I'm like,

  • "I got to see Shaq's penis."

  • So.....

  • It's just, it's just not....

  • I can't pass up that opportunity.

  • You just mean for historical reasons.

  • Yeah.

  • It's not a gay thing.

  • It's just like.......

  • "You got to see that."

  • It's like the Grand Canyon.

  • You got to see it.

  • You got to see it.

  • You can't live and not see it.

  • I get this completely.

  • Thank you.

  • So,

  • my plan was to kind of.....

  • I hear the shower going on in the back,

  • and I said,

  • "Alright, I'm just going to...."

  • In the back of what?

  • In the locker room.

  • I think you were like in his trailer or something.

  • No!

  • There's a gym we play basketball.

  • Oh, OK, alright!

  • So it's like in a high school,

  • and he showers in a way: he's just not being the Shaq down there in the showers.

  • Everyone else left.

  • I'm like, "Alright, let me see that thing."

  • So........

  • Oh boy!!

  • I'm going to see that!

  • Here we go!

  • I go back there,

  • I hear the shower,

  • and I start......

  • I kind of turned around backwards,

  • and walked backwards a little, like....

  • Walking backwards....

  • You want to look kind of.....

  • Like I was going to track him.

  • Like I walk backwards, and I saw, and I was like,

  • "Hey, what's up?"

  • And I....

  • But no!

  • I'm walking backwards, doing my routine,

  • getting closer to the shower,

  • and I turn around.

  • And I go, "Alright, I got to see Shaq's thing right now."

  • His bodyguard is there.

  • And his bodyguard is just so strong and big.

  • And like his thick neck, bald head

  • And this one eye is looking at me with this one eye, alright.

  • So I said,

  • "Sorry,

  • I was just trying to see Shaq's penis."

  • "I apologize, I'm out of here." "Please don;t tell Shaq."

  • So I see Shaq later on the set,

  • and I was like,

  • "I guarantee that guy ratted me out."

  • So I said,

  • "Shaq, sorry about that before with your security guard"

  • And he goes,

  • "I don't got a security guard,

  • that was my dick."

  • Pretty good.

  • It's terrible.

  • That's terrible.

I am surprised.

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