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  • you know where we should take the show?

  • Where?

  • Australia?

  • Yes, 100%.

  • Please.

  • Please.

  • Absolutely buzzing out there.

  • Yeah, we should do it, shouldn't we?

  • Yes, but by the time we've done the mandatory quarantine, we'll have all been fired.

  • It's the network would be like one.

  • Although that would be fun.

  • Do the show from a hotel room in quarantine, Coming fun for, like, an hour.

  • Well, that's how long the show is.

  • So they were after that.

  • What are you Are you saying that we have a fun hour every night?

  • I think the audience at home would disagree.

  • I think if you piece up the best bits of the week, we scraped 48 minutes of fun and the rest the rest is just like the best we've got is a bow talking about sizzle.

  • Do you want to do the headlines, Ian?

  • You What do you?

  • Your co head writer on the show Permanent fixture in that corner.

  • Do you want to do the headlines now?

  • Uh huh.

  • Wow.

  • Co head and Cambria says no.

  • Lauren is the other co head writer.

  • Lauren joins in the headlines.

  • No, go ahead.

  • I honestly thought you were gonna save me.

  • Then you looked at me like, come to me because he's really put you in a corner.

  • I'll save you.

  • You don't want to do the headlines either.

  • Really?

  • So no headlines.

  • Yeah.

  • No, that's fine, John.

  • How do you feel about it?

  • You were very involved in the writing of the headlines today.

  • I think my part of it's done.

  • My mom was done.

  • Read it or don't, Buddy, I'll get paid.

  • Either way, I'll be here tomorrow.

  • Doesn't matter.

  • All right, Well, you were doing them because Donald Trump gave the keynote address at the Conservative Political Action Conference yesterday and he started his speech like this.

  • Well, thank you very much.

  • And hello, CPAC.

  • Do you miss me yet?

  • Do you, mister?

  • And I think I speak for everyone when I say no.

  • Mhm.

  • Miss you been gone a month.

  • That hasn't even been enough time for Mike Pence's hair to return to his natural pre campaign length.

  • Trump said, Did you miss me?

  • Which is literally what every movie villain says when they come back.

  • Did you miss me?

  • Did you miss me?

  • Did you Did you miss me, Richie?

  • Because I've missed you.

  • Did everybody see this?

  • Japanese billionaire Yusaku Miyazawa is seeking eight volunteers for the first SpaceX flight around the moon in 2023.

  • Applications are now open for the trip, which will be completely paid for by the billionaire.

  • So that guy is definitely hunting these people on the moon.

  • Right?

  • We thought this was interesting.

  • In order to protect vaccines from being stolen, shipping companies are now using quote James bond level security measures, including panic buttons, kill switches and undercover guards.

  • The name's chance Johnson.

  • I don't know why I put an American accent.

  • Why don't do that?

  • It's like we're doing Bond, in case you didn't.

  • Yeah.

  • Why don't do that?

  • The most iconic British character outside of Paddington.

  • You're predicting the next James Bond won't be British?

  • I think he will be British.

  • You really think so?

  • I think so.

  • I don't know.

  • Who do you think the next bond will be?

  • You've got to put your money right now on someone.

  • Who is it?

  • You know, I wanted it to be interesting because I think that that would have been cool.

  • But gosh, it's a hard one, man.

  • It's really I think it might be a British man.

  • He's almost too beautiful to be James Bond.

  • You're absolutely right.

  • He's absolutely right.

  • He's so gorgeous that it's like I feel bad enough to get beat up.

  • But then if it was by a guy that good looking, he wouldn't have to kill anybody.

  • They do it to themselves.

  • He doesn't have the eyes.

  • He doesn't have the eyes of a killer like Daniel Craig.

  • He's hot.

  • Don't get me wrong.

  • He's like, but he's rugged, you know?

  • He's hot.

  • But he could.

  • He could.

  • He could be an uber driver.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • Five.

  • Wrong turns in his life and he's an uber driver.

  • Three.

  • Wrong choices.

  • Three.

  • Wrong choices.

  • You're like tipping 20%.

  • He was pretty hot.

  • Okay, I'm always shocked in bond that when he says the name is Bond James Bond, nobody goes.

  • Oh, from the films.

  • Yeah, not one character, not one character in bond Just watched a bond movie.

  • I'm constantly amazed.

  • They're like, Oh, my God, From their films based on the inflaming books.

  • You're that guys, Not one.

  • So anyway, back to the original show.

  • Okay?

  • The name is Johnson, Johnson and Johnson.

  • Wow.

  • a really itchy nose.

  • I'm trying to itch it in a discreet way when actually what I really need to do.

  • You ever get that?

  • You have, like, a full nose attack.

  • That was your discrete itch.

  • No, I Here's your whole arm.

  • What?

  • I didn't use my whole arm.

  • I was trying to do it at moments when I thought they might have cut you guys.

  • I'm trying to do it as I throw it out.

  • Quick it back.

  • So you know what I mean?

  • Like I go, Don't you think in?

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • Thinking in the edit.

  • But what I really need to do is go.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • Ah, I stayed up all night watching videos on YouTube and learning new things I will now share said things with you.

  • This is tonight.

  • I learned.

  • Do not I learned that was appalling.

  • Mm.

  • That was appalling.

  • That was absolutely appalling.

  • That I mean, that is that is that was a disgrace to jingles.

  • Yeah.

  • How did that happen?

  • I don't think we remember.

  • We were supposed to do it.

  • Oh, really?

  • To be creative.

  • You don't think you remembered you were supposed to do or you were just for all of us.

  • So shut out of the show.

  • You don't try again?

  • Yes.

  • Give it, please.

  • Yeah.

  • Are you gonna say your thing?

  • Did you say it, or are you gonna say it again or we just play?

  • How do you want to do?

  • Is this the same plane?

  • Are you going to say it?

  • And then we do it?

  • Uh, what am I gonna kill us?

  • Classic.

  • Stay in place.

  • All cars.

  • Oh, gosh.

  • Technically, this is a This is a T V show.

  • And here's some big international use.

  • Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy was sentenced to jail today on corruption charges related to campaign finances.

  • The judge told Sarkozy his biggest mistake was not committing these crimes in America.

  • It sounds harsh a year in prison, but you've got to remember French prison is done entirely with mine.

  • Okay, I wonder what French prisons like what you like in French prisons?

  • Like, I bet it's like Paddington two level prison.

  • I bet it's correct.

  • You think Paddington two level prison.

  • Ah, yeah.

  • There's a lot of chains.

  • Do you think Rachel and Cheese?