She's like doing the directions.

I was all in.

I was like, Look, use me as a bop it, pull it, twist it, kick it.

Whatever you need to do to my body, I'm down to listen.

Hi.

My name is Trevor Wallis And one time I had sex.

Well, let's talk about it.

This all happened about three years ago living in Santa Monica living it up, dude.

Living in a three by 3 ft room, paying $3000 for rent.

So I was crushing it.

But I had one video do, like a million views.

So in my head, I was popping around the same time.

This girl who went to college with kind of hit me up out of the blue and was like, Hey, I'm in Los Angeles.

Turns out it wasn't Los Angeles.

It was Glendale.

So she hits me up and she goes, Hey, I'm in town and I don't pick up on social cues was like, Cool.

Do you need, like, food recommendations or something?

She's like, we should get a drink tonight.

And the second she said tequila, I was like, Oh, this is gonna be a freaking kind of nobody's ever had it tequila and just been satisfied with the hand job.

So we're at this place we get Margarita were just chowing down chips and guac throwing back shots.

Boom, boom, boom.

I think just in general I was stoked that she reached out to me.

This was the first time you met up outside of college and quite frankly, the first time we really talk, man.

At one point, I just remember that she was in the bathroom for like, 10 minutes, and when she left, I was like, I really like this girl.

She's pretty cute, like we got good chemistry.

Let's go back to my place.

So we go back to my house and it's one of those, like, immediately the door opens.

You're just making out in the hallway, which is funny because my apartment isn't that big.

We could have just taken two more steps and then been in my bedroom, but we were feeling it for whatever reason.

We didn't even make it past the closet, you know, that's how you know you're freaking when the coat closet is getting all the action.

It's like, How do you get off me with Get in the room.

You have a bad for reasons.

So we go into the bedroom and we started hooking up and I'll be honest, man.

She was a cute girl, very attractive.

But she has a body that I didn't even expect.

She had a reverse catfish body.

Now I don't know what to call this.

She just had, like, I'm more like casual clothes.

So I don't really know what the curve situation was looking like.

But let's just say I got to unwrap these Christmas gifts twice, okay?

Because I opened up the first layer.

See her?

She's cute, and then she takes her clothes off and she's got a body like a body body.

All right.

Thinking about a good body, nothing about a better body.

That was her.

I mean, you could fit more than an hour on that hourglass, which was great for me because I feel like I look like a malnourished scarecrow.

So I was excited, man.

She was hot, having fun.

She's getting into it, you know?

She's on top.

She's like doing the direction I was all in.

I was like, Look, use me as a bop it, pull it, twist it, kick it.

Whatever you need to do to my body, I'm down.

I want a woman who knows what she wants, and I'm down to listen.

Long story short, we hooked up right.

It was really good.

I really enjoyed it.

Now I know at this point you're like, When's the SEC's gonna fail?

Well, guess what, nerd?

It wasn't a sex fail.

The sex was great.

It's more of just a sexual triumph.

And we use this title is click bait Boom at air horns.

You ever heard a click bait?

Welcome to 2021 Nerd.

Your problems didn't go away.

Insert eagle graphic.

So boom, fast forward.

It's morning and she's leaving, which look a lot of guys, but oh, man, we were gonna go get eggs.

Benedict know me excited because I get to lay there and all of my little sex juice bed and then later on, my roommate walks in just to fuck with me, as roommates do.

Roommates are never productive when you're hungover and he's looking at this thing next to me.

He goes, What is that?

Uh what is what?

And then he grabs his foreign object and he holds it up like you just got a treasure map at the end of the movie.

It looks at and he just goes, What is this?

It looks like a hairball from a cat.

And then he had this moment and I've never seen his face just go so red he goes, Oh, fuck.

This is a used tampon and he takes it, throws it in the air like it's just supposed to disappear into the iCloud.

Nope, that puppy's coming right back down.

You know where it came down on my chest.

I'm laying there.

It starts rolling off.

I'm doing a little shimmy shake to get it off.

Get it off, Get it off of me!

Looking like Shakira at the halftime show, it kind of just rolls over and I scoot over.

So we both start freaking out a little bit and it wakes up.

Roommate number three off the couch and he comes on in, and now he's yelling.

We're all making a big commotion.

And in doing so, one of my roommates just stops and he goes, Look behind me on the wall and of course, don't have a headboard.

I just want to head, not a headboard.

A.

Leave it in there.

Sure enough, you notice is the most perfect, beautiful blood outline of a used tampon.

It looked like LeBron had a handful of blood through it in the air before a playoff game.

So my brain immediately goes into connect the dots activity.

And that's when it all clicked.

I looked at my roommates and I said, This is what went down.

The only opportunity I think she would have had to sneak.

We do.

This is when I was at the end of the bed.

I'm taking off my skinny jeans being hot, you know?

And she's thinking, Wow, that's that hot guy from the Internet.

She was so turned on by my one viral video that she said, You know what?

I want to make a bloody margarita tonight.

It's either now or never.

And she reaches down and she fucking hut hut hike, lobs it back hot route, hits the wall and forgets about it and has a splendid night Boom.

Call me Columbo because this mystery's been solved.

Is this wild?

Yes.

Do I respect the fuck out of her moves?

Double.

Yes, That is a power move beyond place the bodies like, uh, this week isn't good for us.

We're kind of booked.

And she's like, Oh, you're about to get fucking book by something else.

What?

Pam and might I add?

My roommates were freaked out, but deep down, I thought it was low key.

Kind of hot that she did that.

She was like, This guy is so cool.

I'm just gonna go for it.

And in case you're wondering, we haven't talked since.

So if you're watching this, it doesn't need to be awkward.

I'm pretty proud.

Hey, thanks for watching that video.

I'm Trevor Wallis.

And if you like that video with me, go to the page.

They got a fuck ton of other videos of me and it.

So if you want to see me looking pretty, go to Comedy Central.

You won't regret it.

Uh huh.

Mhm.

Yeah, yeah.