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  • What I hold in my hands is a family tree that goes back centuries.

  • It starts with the marriage of King Amoeba and Queen Mildew.

  • Then, through a few inbred generations, ends at you, Sir Patrick,

  • which makes you a descendant of royalty.

  • You are a king.

  • I've discovered this coffee stain, which upon removal,

  • reveals that Sir Gary is the true heir to the king's crown.

  • Well, would you look at that. Gary, you're royalty!

  • Meow.

  • Ah, hi there. Well, I better be going now.

  • [grunting]

  • Yes, that's my arm.

  • Patar!

  • SpongeGar!

  • [grunting]

  • [mumbling]

  • [mumbling]

  • Ow!

  • [mumbling]

  • [mumbling]

  • [mumbling]

  • He's a' coming! Dead Eye's a' coming!

  • Dead Eye?!

  • Dead Eye?!

  • Who's Dead Eye?

  • I'll tell you who Dead Eye is!

  • But I shall do it... through song.

  • Maestro, if you please.

  • Oh, Bikini Gulch was a purdy place

  • With sweet water and blue sky

  • ♪ 'Til one day a beast 'come a-riding

  • From the east By the name of Ol' Dead Eye

  • That dirty, no-good Dead Eye

  • The mollusks are coming!

  • Not the mollusks!

  • Mollusks? What mollusks?

  • There aren't any mollusks coming, are there, Patrick?

  • No.

  • I was only pretending to be my famous, Great-Great-Great Uncle, Patrick Revere!

  • He rode through the streets warning Bikini Bottom

  • of the coming hordes of ravenous, man-eating mollusks!

  • The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming!

  • It's too bad nobody listened to him.

  • What beeth the deal with ye olde nutcase?

  • [screaming]

  • Wow, Patrick. I didn't know you had a famous relative.

  • Well the best part about it is,

  • I don't have to accomplish anything in life

  • because my Uncle already did it for me.

  • Really takes the old pressure off.

  • Excuse me, does this lovely couple belong to you?

  • They've been standing outside my house saying "Where's Patrick?" all day!

  • It's driving me nuts!

  • Mom! Dad!

  • Wow, son! You actually recognized us this time.

  • And you remembered to get dressed today!

  • [laughing]

  • Oh, that's right, honey. We don't have a son.

  • Oh yeah!

  • [laughing]

  • Sam!

  • [growling]

  • Brubber!

  • Sis!

  • [grunting]

  • It's so good to see you.

  • You. Sister Sam. Have much catch up to do.

  • Wow, you pack a wallop, sis.

  • Sam, this is my best friend, SpongeBob.

  • Yeah, Patrick and I go back a long way.

  • - Ha-ha. Long way, heh heh, go back. - Long way.

  • Yellow square touch brubber!

  • Make sister Sam mad!

  • I cleaned my rock just for you.

  • Ah! Oh!

  • Hey, please, we've got to do something!

  • Jellyfishing!

  • Somebody say, "Jellyfishing"?

  • Hi, PatTron.

  • J-just listen to me! I'm not supposed to be here!

  • I've gotta get home to my own time period! I gotta go!

What I hold in my hands is a family tree that goes back centuries.

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