Hell no.

So tonight, during our epic guys night.

You, me and Zeke are going to become men.

And it all starts by turning this little boy's room

into a man cave.

Nothing says man cave like a sexy-ass cartoon girl

that skews our perception of how real women look.

- Yeah and look at that ass.

- Dang Junior, you have been extra spicy lately.

You all right?

- Grandma and Stacy under one roof.

They're bulls, man.

And I'm the goddam rodeo clown getting bragged on.

- What's up (beep) heads?

- [Both] Hey!

- Dudes, I found some crazy porn on the dark web

or as it's called in my country, the regular internet.

- Do you guys feel that?

An F5 Bro-NATO is about to touch down.

Papa Blark is out for the night,

laser tagging with Fletch, Zeke and Clutch

with the dark web porn

and Junior, now daddy wants his box wine.

- Hell yeah, I need this.

- When I come back,

I want to get a sunburn from all the radiating heat off

y'all's big penis energy.

- Son, out.

- Mr. Pockets?

- Well hello there, Son.

- I remember you.

I missed you.

- Why sure do hope so.

You and I were closer than a sock and a shoe.

Sweet heavenly biscuits, how you've grown.

I missed you more than a dried up sunflower

misses a rainy day.

- Son, you coming?

It's time to crank that waste snake.

- Son! - Not now, Dad.

- My son. - Get out!

- I love you, son!

- Mr. Pockets, I really want to hang with you,

but you kind of caught me at a weird time.

Just wait here for like one second and I will be right back.

- Dang Junior, you are pushing the man-o-meter to 11.

- I'm the coolest man on the block.

You (beep) sucking, (beep) shepards.

- You look like cool guy who stands at my country border

to make us look fun from outside.

Oh (beep) me.

This file is 752 gigs of pure crash porn mayhem.

- Crash porn, it that like people kissing really hard?

- It's basic dark web bestiality disaster pornography, Son.

Usually starts with dude who wants to (beep) exotic animal,

but then bad accident happen

and everyone and I mean, everyone (beep)

- Hell yeah, Zek,

that sounds like so dope.

That is definitely, exactly what I had in mind.

I forgot my jack off stuff in my room,

so I'm gonna be right back with my jack off stuff.

- Okay, I've only got a few minutes,

I was thinking we could either play haunted dogs

or paper farmers

since I don't have sheriff Jeffery's badge anymore.

- Well, the sky ain't blue,

that badge ain't around here somewhere.

- (gasp) What?

- Now Sheriff, them gofer brothers

done found the town's gold stash.

- Them gofers gonna be sorry

they messed with sheriff Jeffreys.

(playful music)

(laughter)

- Oh son, I almost forgot

how hanging with you makes me happier than a hound dog

nomming on a bone.

- You want to know what makes me happier

than a hound dog nomming on a bone?

- Mr. Pockets and me.

Part of my family.

The best bud I've ever known.

I'll never be alone.

- Our song.

- Son! (beep)

the crash porn is ready (beep)

- What's a (beep)?

- Damn, I mean darn it.

I'll be back in a bit.

Why don't you draw a picture of Mr. Hosnose while I'm gone.

I would love to see him again.

- Oh, but I thought we could just...

- Then Serege showed father crash porn

and then next day I was born.

Mother wasn't even pregnant.

- (beep) Yeah, Zek, you are out of (beep)

- Man, I am so pumped.

Oh, I have a great idea,

why don't we fast forward to the best part,

when the guy's wiener sneezes.

- Wow son, is this your robot buddy?

- Okay dudes, you want to watch accidents sex aquarium

or (beep) time badger earthquake.

- (beep) time badger earthquake?

- I don't care what you want me to watch.

- Y'all going to gander that?

- No, I'm not Mr. Pockets.

- Mr. Pockets?

Was that your (beep) name?

I call mine Todd.

- Son, what is happening here?

- Get ready for the aquarium (beep) time.

- No, not yet Zek.

- What is this?

- Everyone shut up!

- Well (beep) you too, buddy.

- I'm sorry that wasn't...

Maybe guys this was a bad idea.

- Well get it while you can, you pickle (beep) farmer.

- You did the right thing, Son.

Your buddies are pushing you to be someone you ain't.

Think about what makes you happy.

Think about who makes you happy.

- You're right.

You make me happy.

- Now drag that dang poster off your wall

and let's get back to how things used to be.

See, this is how it's supposed to be, Son.

Oh, you were lost but I found you again

and I'll always be here, see.

You don't have to worry about other friends or girls,

but we can just be together, forever.

- No.

- What you mean, no?

- Mr. Pockets, I love you, but I have to grow up.

- Well, you don't have to grow up, Son,

we can just grow together.

It'll be... - I'm sorry, Pockets.

This just...

This isn't gonna work.

- I guess I was dizzy in my head,

think things could be like they were.

I can't go on living without you, Son.

I was lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rug.

Son, I'm going to need you to use your imagination for me

one last time.

- What do you mean?

What, no.

Pockets, I can't do this.

- Son, it's the only way, please.

You have to live your life.

Gosh, darn it.

I can't keep holding you back.

I love you too dang much.

It's okay, son.

I'm ready.

(piano music)

- Mr. Pockets and me.

- Part of my family.

- [Both] Best bud I've ever known.

- I'll never be alone.

(gunshot)

(gasping for air)

♪ Mr. Pockets and me ♪

♪ Part of my family ♪

♪ Best bud I've ever known ♪

♪ I'll never be alone ♪

♪ Be alone ♪

♪ Be alone ♪

♪ Be alone ♪

- This is what I wanted, right?

This is exactly what I wanted.

♪ I am alone ♪