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Where have you been. Hey! Oh, uh, my cell phone died and they.
No one had a charger. Everyone had different cell phones, so no
one has chargers, uh, it’s just im… impossible to find, so my phone was dead.
My car broke down. I know, I know, I just got it and it broke
down. And luckily it just. Somebody found me, car,
a towing friend found me and it was just in enough time for me to get home right now.
Cars, right. It’s crazy. I had to work late, again.
I know! I know and I just. P.S., I got a job. Today.
And they already had me working late. Ugh. But you know, gotta work hard for the
money. I had to visit the hospital because my friend,
family friend, a friend of the family. Was in there with a the, uh… She had a thing
all… You know, and I had to go and, ugh… It’s just the… Hospital food, am I right?.
Ha ha. I was trapped in an elevator, yeah, just like
in movies and TV shows where people get trapped in an elevator. And there was a pregnant woman!
I mean, she wasn’t totally pregnant, she had just gotten pregnant, she was telling
me. But I could’ve delivered that baby if I had to. Huh, lady got out of that trapped
elevator that happens all the time. I got mugged. Yes. Mugged. I know, I look
fine, it was like an emotional mugging. They were just… This and I was a big, dumb that
and… It really took a toll on me, so I had to kinda compose myself before I got home…
Uh huh… ‘Cause it was just… Emotional mugging.
There were all these kittens! It was like a… a kitten barbershop quartet. They were
like meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow. Meow.
Meow. Meooow. And I had to stop and look at that for a couple of hours.
I had sex with your sister. We’ve been having sex for a long time, pretty much right after
we met, so we’ve been banging like crazy ever since. Okay. You happy.
Wait, what did you just say? I’m banging your sister and I.
No. No, no, no, the thing before that. The kitten quartet. Yeah, they were like Meow
meow meow meow meow meow meow Yes oh my god, I
love kitty quartets. Why didn’t you invite me to see the kitty quartet.
I didn’t, uh, know.
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7 Lies Men Tell Women

1540 Folder Collection
姚易辰 published on July 17, 2014
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