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  • From Bikini Bottom, it's the Squidward Show!

  • Starring, you guessed it, Squidward!

  • This show is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

  • Oh, how I have dreamed of this day.

  • Mr Tentacles, Professor of Art!

  • What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom!

  • Bring me your huddled masses of bored housewives

  • and I will shape them in my image.

  • Well, don't wanna keep 'em waiting any longer!

  • [indistinct chattering] Welcome to art class!

  • Oh, isn't this cooking?

  • Sorry.

  • Howdy, Squidward?

  • Are you taking this art class, too?

  • SpongeBob? In art class?

  • Wait! This is cooking!

  • Come back!

  • You gotta be kidding.

  • [SpongeBob laughs]

  • This is great! You and me in school together!

  • So, where is the teacher?

  • You're looking at him.

  • You are the teacher to my pupil?

  • This isn't art class...

  • it's heaven!

  • Yeah... Grab a little piece of heaven

  • and let's get on with it.

  • I'm ready!

  • Mr. Tentacles.

  • All right, SpongeBob, pay close attention.

  • Look at your marble.

  • Visualize the sculpture within.

  • Then, gently...

  • How's this, Squidward?

  • It's beautiful!

  • Uh, I mean... Uh...

  • This isn't a sculpture!

  • A good sculpture takes...

  • more time.

  • You can't just sculpt willy-nilly!

  • You gotta go by the book! Follow the rules!

  • Otherwise you'll never get past amateur hour here.

  • Besides, you got the nose wrong.

  • There, now it's art.

  • Oh, it's so obvious!

  • I would've never thought of that!

  • I'm sorry, Squidward!

  • I came here to learn and I arrogantly shunned your lessons.

  • I'll never be a great artist like you.

  • I don't deserve your tutoring.

  • I don't deserve to be in your presence.

  • I don't even deserve to use your door!

  • Hello there!

  • Sorry, class is dismissed. You're too late.

  • Oh, I beg your pardon, but I forgot my manners.

  • My name is Monty P. Moneybags.

  • The world-famous art collector?

  • The one and only.

  • Well, what are you doing here?

  • I'm on a shopping spree. Buying art for my new museum.

  • Your search is over.

  • I am Bikini Bottom's greatest artiste.

  • I call it, "Bold and Brash".

  • More like, "Belongs in the Trash"!

  • [laughs]

  • Sorry, I must've missed that one.

  • [whistles]

  • What is that?

  • Wait, wait. That's not, uh, uh...

  • - It's a... - Angelic form!

  • Amazing detail!

  • Perfect censorship!

  • This is the work of a true genius!

  • Hello? What this?

  • This is the only flaw.

  • Ah, that's more like it.

  • I simply must find the artist responsible.

  • He shall have fame.

  • Fame...

  • [Monty] Fortune!

  • Fortune...

  • [Monty] Anything his heart desires!

  • Anything?

  • It's me! It's me! I'm responsible!

  • I can see it now.

  • Your name in the world's most prestigious museums.

  • I'm gonna make you, immortal!

  • Now, uh, help me get this in the car.

  • I could use a little help.

  • My fame! My fortune! My hair!

  • Well, that's a bit of bad luck right there.

  • But, this shouldn't be a problem for an artist of your magnitude.

  • You can whip up another one.

  • Yeah, no problem.

  • You know, between you and me, this isn't my best work.

  • Why don't you come back tomorrow

  • and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off.

  • Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks.

  • [laughs]

  • Yeah, no socks.

  • OK, see you tomorrow. Bye.

  • I gotta find SpongeBob!

  • Here you go, buddy.

  • With this tool, I shall give birth to art!

  • Oh, boy.

  • But, one more thing.

  • There. Now it's art.

  • Well, what do you think, Squidward?

  • Just take it all in for a moment.

  • Let it soak in.

  • [screams]

  • I'm here for the... What the?

  • Who is responsible for this?

  • As of now, it's his responsibility!

  • Good day to you, sir!

  • You, sir, are the greatest artist who ever lived!

From Bikini Bottom, it's the Squidward Show!

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