His first word was why?

And actually was the only word he spoke until he was about five.

Why Michael's curiosity turned to paranoia when he was eight and found out Santa wasn't really.

He stopped trusting our parents, teachers, even newscasters for tracking Santa's sleigh.

He really started to spiral.

When that blink 1 82 song aliens exist came out.

Fuck you, Tom DeLonge.

Also, sometimes he talks about how he doesn't trust the government.

And he won't get a driver's license because he thinks that's how they steal our organs.

Michael doesn't stop this soon.

He's gonna get himself killed by somebody killing him for being so fucking annoying.

Person who kills it might be me.

So you hit all of his weapons, right?

Oh, wait, Sorry.

Sorry.

Way.

God, is it a sort?

Michael only dates because he thinks I'm part of the Illuminati.

That's why I got you.

See it?

It's permanent.

Got him Mr Christmas last year.

Rob.

Kelsey, Get there.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Are you?

Of course not.

But you do crazy things for people you love.

Every girl doesn't ask your wife what I was doing.

Good man.

Just I knew it.

I fucking knew it.

You what?

You literally just walked in.

I'm just surprised it took you guys so long to go through the intervention.

Wait.

You know you have a problem after everything you told me you're gonna play dumb.

You and I both know you set this up for the Illuminati to silence Michael, Baby, we've been dating for four years.

You know, I have never planned.

You're the only one here who was in the Illuminati.

Or so I thought like this has nothing to do with the Illuminati, man.

Oh, yeah?

Then why the hell you all wearing green shirts then?

I fucking told you we had a coordinate outfits.

It's ST Patrick's Day.

Who the hell is that guy?

I'm Larry.

Just here to help moderate.

He's any tension.

I'm an independent contractor.

You hear that, tractor?

This guy is a farmer and we're a bunch of sheep.

Dude, Reddit is ruining your life, man.

And who do you think created Reddit?

Steve Huffman and Alexis?

Okay.

That's what they want you to think.

They hasn't the system.

Everything is a system with you.

How many systems do you think there are?

1576.

You're insane.

Insane is not a productive word.

Let's just say he's living la Vida loca.

Of course I see him insane to a bunch of shape.

Sorry for questioning society.

When you guys aimlessly just follow the leaders until you all off the side of the earth, Baby, you said you're going to stop thinking the Earth is flat.

I stopped thinking when I started knowing Joe Rogan experience Episode 47.

That was hot.

What makes you think the Earth is round?

Because that's what we were taught in school with evidence, huh?

From scientists?

Yes.

Feels pretty flat to me.

Are we not always staying on flat surfaces?

Isn't there like evidence with the sun and the moon?

Um, on, like like math and stuff Number?

Honestly, nothing.

Science aren't really my forte, Marv.

A creative type.

Also, even if aliens are real, what are you gonna do about it?

Escaped to my bunker.

Why do you think we send beanbag chairs?

I was always too afraid to ask.

Do you hear yourself?

Would you rather just die than live in an underground hole and sleep on beanbag chairs for the rest of your life to words sheep.

That's exactly what a sheep would say.

Sheep is one word.

You know.

It's to Bob.

You Those are not words.

And one of the Baja man, huh?

Come on.

You got it, babe.

What about Jeffrey Epstein?

I call this shit back in 95.

That wasn't a conspiracy.

Prince Andrew is really blatant about that.

You spend all your time researching bullshit bullshit.

Okay, Kelsey's in the Illuminati.

Tell him, maybe trip.

Are you really gonna feed his insanity?

I mean, I get it.

I convinced my last boyfriend I was a hiker, so that's really different.

That's really gross.

All I'm saying is, if you want to ruin your own life, that's your thing.

But you're ruining mind to You set up cameras all over the apartment?

No, no.

Those air for sex.

You know some of those cameras in my bedroom to Yeah.

Oh, man.

Come on.

Sorry, man.

We have sex in there one time.

Just like approved Kelsey that those were for sex.

They're not for sex.

No.

Who wants to watch themselves have sex?

What about Ray?

J I thought you jerked off to What do you think I'm doing in there watching all this 9 11 documentaries?

I told you this.

My hands, The plane Penis is a town.

Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

What can we do to make you stop doing this?

You can't do Benji Boy, because bad things are going to continue to happen.

All right?

And I can't be in control of that if I am so insane.

How do I have so much money?

I know this one by never taking me out.

I just assumed you were scanning people in the dark web.

I do that for fun.

Plus, you can't make millions on the Dark Web.

Tried it.

You're not a millionaire.

You're full of shit.

Oh, am I?

Then how have I made millions of dollars by securing market tips via blackmail of government officials?

Riddle me that asshole.

Fuck, Fuck, fuck!

Why did I say that this was all part of your plan?

You did this to me.

The green shirt shit is making sense.

Okay, If you're a millionaire, then why are you covering this place?

And bean bag chairs?

They're not even made a real beans Plus, you know, I'm trying to get into interior design, So how dare you not consult me on this?

I'm your goddamn sister.

It's called fun.

Sway Fashion.

Google it, bitch beanbags, Somebody at the back door.

No, Dude, you have to realize this is all in your mind.

You can still like aliens and start ever Levin from at least a distance of 500 ft away.

But you can't let these crazy conspiracy theories control your life.

See nobody coming.

Okay, Maybe you're right.

Maybe nobody bugged the apartment.

Maybe you're just my sibling.

Maybe you're just my roommate.

You know, maybe you're just a girlfriend.

Why did you only air quote girlfriend?

But what's important here is nobody's out to get any of us bringing me.

Okay?

No.

All right, E still don't know about you.

Come on.

You have to stop living in paranoia.

Otherwise you're gonna be Oh, thanks for the help.

She Thanks for watching the video.

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