Name: Revenge of the Exes (feat. Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, & More) - Comedy Central Roast
Uploaded: 2021-02-12T18:27:11.000Z
Duration: 17 min
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

- My beautiful, talented, compassionate, blond ex-wife.

Adverbs of manner

Unfortunately, Heather Locklear couldn't be here tonight.

Which makes sense, because the last two sucked.

But trust me, she's literally the worst (beep) ex-wife

He gave me a huge rock, and then he smoked it.

I mean, even though I went over everything yesterday.

After all these years, I have to say, you know what?

I mean, you still look the same from the eyebrows up.

our daughters are incredibly well-adjusted,

considering two of them are half Bruce Willis.

But let me just say, he is a great father.

I mean, every Christmas, right after he would have the girls

go make him his special coffee with medicine,

in the wife-beater t-shirt, waving that gun,

And then, I mean, that's what he's always called them.

And they just love his tag lines, I mean.

But, what might not know, Bruce is super,

I mean, when out daughter, Rumor, was a baby,

in the middle of the night, he'd lean over and whisper.

And he'd say, "I'll give you $1,000 right now

Of course, I wouldn't do it because, well,

the lawyer said, "Don't worry, we'll take care of it.

And Scout, Scout asked me not to say anything,

he offered her $1,000 to change his diaper.

I mean, you know, some things never change.

I mean, we were married, let's see, almost 12 years.

And that's like 84 in Bruce Willis years.

I mean, it's funny the things we do for a part.

Like, I know that I have dyed, and cut, and styled my hair,

I can't tell you how many, a million ways.

And ladies, let me tell you, the carpets match the drapes.

I mean, I'm not saying he's bald down there.

I'm just saying, whichever place you look,

I mean, Planet Hollywood, "Hudson Hawks",

I mean, turning down Clooney's role in "Ocean's Eleven"

I mean, I could go on, but they said it's a two-hour show.

I look back over all the years that we've had together.

But I have to say, those were some of the best times

I just look at our marriage like the "Sixth Sense".

All kidding aside, truly all kidding aside,

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Revenge of the Exes (feat. Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, & More) - Comedy Central Roast

literally

matter

audience

sense