Name: Even The Cat Lawyer Would Be A Better Impeachment Advocate Than Bruce Castor
Uploaded: 2021-02-11T18:11:09.000Z
Duration: 6 min 5 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

Adverbs of manner

TODAY WE HEARD ONLY FROM THE HOUSE IMPEACHMENT MANAGERS.

THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S LAWYERS HAD THE DAY OFF, AND THEY

NEEDED IT, BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL IN RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY FROM

PUNCHING THEMSELVES IN THE FACE FOR TWO HOURS YESTERDAY.

THEY'RE SWEEPING UP TEETH LIKE CHICKLETS.

THE REVIEWS ARE IN, AND THEY ARE TERRIBLE, ESPECIALLY FOR LEAD

DEFENSE ATTORNEY AND MAN BOMBING THIS AUDITION FOR BILLY FLYNN IN

THE CRITICISM WAS ESPECIALLY HARSH FROM REPUBLICANS.

TEXAS SENATOR JOHN CORNYN SAID CASTOR "JUST RAMBLED ON AND ON

MAINE'S SUSAN COLLINS SAID SHE WAS "PERPLEXED."

AND LISA MURKOWSKI ADDED, "I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE HE WAS

HE SPENT 45 MINUTES GOING SOMEWHERE, BUT I DON'T THINK HE

HELPED WITH US BETTER UNDERSTANDING WHERE HE WAS

"PERPLEXED," RAMBLED," "COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE HE WAS COMING

IS THIS AN IMPEACHMENT OR CHRISTOPHER NOLAN'S "TENET"?

JUST MAKE A LINEAR MOVIE FOR ONCE, CHRIS!

A THING HAPPENS, ANOTHER THING HAPPENS BECAUSE OF THE FIRST

THING, AND THEN PEOPLE FEEL SOME WAY ABOUT THOSE THINGS

MAYBE PUT SOME BLOOPERS IN THE CREDITS, OKAY?

THE HARSHEST REVIEW CAME FROM LOUISIANA REPUBLICAN AND MAN AT

WORK REALIZING HE FORGOT TO TAKE HIS KIDS TO SCHOOL, BILL

( LAUGHTER ) CASSIDY HAD VOTED IN SUPPORT OF

RAND PAUL'S EARLIER MOTION THAT IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL TO IMPEACH

A FORMER PRESIDENT, BUT HE SWITCHED SIDES YESTERDAY AND

>> IT WAS DISORGANIZED, RANDOM, HAD NOTHING.

THEY TALKED ABOUT MANY THINGS, BUT THEY DIDN'T TALK ABOUT

AND SO, IF I'M AN IMPARTIAL JUROR AND I'M TRYING TO MAKE A

DECISION BASED UPON THE FACTS AS PRESENTED ON THIS ISSUE, THEN

THE HOUSE MANAGERS DID A MUCH BETTER JOB.

>> Stephen: WOW, A REPUBLICAN SENATOR LOOKED AT EVIDENCE AND

IT'S A LOW BAR, BUT RIGHT NOW, IT'S THE ONLY ONE WE'VE GOT.

THERE WAS ONE PERSON WHO DIDN'T THINK BRUCE CASTOR DID A BAD

ASKED ABOUT CASSIDY'S FLIP TO THE OTHER SIDE, CASTOR CROWED:

"WE ONLY LOST ONE, SO I BELIEVE WE HAD A GOOD DAY."

HOT TIP: NEVER HIRE BRUCE CASTOR AS YOUR LAWYER OR YOUR

KACIE AND MAGGIE ATE ALL THEIR VEGETABLES.

WE ONLY LOST ONE KID, BUT TREVOR WAS PRETTY MOUTHY, SO I THINK

WE HAD A GOOD DAY!" AT THE END OF THE DAY, CASTOR

DIDN'T SEEM TO THINK THE BAD REVIEWS WERE A BIG DEAL.

"YOU PUT 100 PEOPLE IN THE SAME ROOM, YOU'RE GOING TO GET 100

YEAH, MAYBE SO, BUT PRETTY SURE THE OBJECTIVE OF A TRIAL IS TO

GET THE WHOLE JURY TO HAVE THE SAME OPINION.

THAT'S WHY THE MOVIE ISN'T CALLED "12 MEN WHO ALL FEEL

THE ONE MAN WHO REALLY DID NOT ENJOY CASTOR'S PERFORMANCE WAS

HIS CLIENT, BECAUSE, REPORTEDLY, DURING CASTOR'S OPENING

STATEMENT, THE USED-POTUS WAS "ALMOST SCREAMING" AT

BACK IN THE WHITE HOUSE, THE TVs HAD SO MUCH SPITTLE ON THEM,

NOW, THE IMPEACHMENT, STRANGELY IS ACTUALLY THE SECOND BIGGEST

STORY FROM THE LEGAL WORLD, BECAUSE YESTERDAY, THIS FOOTAGE

WENT VIRAL OF A TEXAS COURT HEARING WHERE ONE OF THE

SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS WHICH ONE: >> MR. PONTON, I BELIEVE YOU

HAVE A FILTER TURNED ON IN THE VIDEO SETTINGS.

WE'RE TRYING TO-- WE'RE TRYING TO-- CAN YOU HEAR ME, JUDGE?

I MOVE TO HAVE HIM DISBARRED AND DE-CLAWED!

THIS IS THE ULTIMATE VIRAL VIDEO FOR THE PANDEMIC, BECAUSE AT

I SLEEP 18 HOURS A DAY, I EAT EVERYTHING OUT OF A BOWL WITH MY

FACE, AND I BATHE SLIGHTLY LESS THAN A CAT, ONLY BECAUSE MY

THE NAME OF THE LAWYER IN THAT VIDEO IS ROD PONTON.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

Even The Cat Lawyer Would Be A Better Impeachment Advocate Than Bruce Castor

awkward

figure

flip

random