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  • Captain's log Stardate 4307.1. First officer Spock

  • seems to be going to be going through Pon Far. Which is a period every 7 years where Vulcans

  • go into heat. It seems if they don't find a suitable mate during this

  • Pon Far! They can go mad or even die.

  • I'm going to have to start using that excuse on my dates.

  • Good one Jim!

  • Thank you Bones

  • Needless to say Spock is hornier than a three pecker Tribble on Prom Night.

  • and has requested R&R. Permission granted Spock.

  • Find a cave for that trouser snake before it's too late.

  • Ahhhh-firmitive girl, it's clear to me our bodies were made for reproduction.

  • so let me know begin with the act of sweet seduction

  • we are subject to extinction if we do not reproduce so sip on this earth potion

  • known as gin and juice

  • Did you know or nerves were stimulated by basic touch?

  • Yes, your hand is on my thigh and I enjoy that very much.

  • Allow me to apply the Vulcan grip of plessure

  • You know, they say Vulcans have little to no blood pressure

  • But my pulse is racing at approximately warp 4, in response to the knowledge

  • that I most likely will score.

  • you are clearly getting wild ready and ready for action in that regard you are not unlike

  • the captain. Just relax for tonight you are not my subordinate.

  • Mr Scott, beam some fine champagne to our coordinates

  • with every sip you take, your desire grows stronger. Like Mr. Scott says

  • I don't think she can TAKE it much longer!!

  • Together we will copulate so our species

  • can repopulate. Tonight I got my

  • phasers set for love

  • after that exceptional and technical night it is logical that you and I will be

  • mates for life.

  • oooh. this talk of forever comes as quite a surprise and they do not allow

  • girlfriends aboard the Enterprise

  • Like a Klingon after a meal I'm afraid I must depart.

  • While your at it reach through my side and rip out my heart.

  • that was a irrational I'm sorry that I yelled.

  • Let us forgo the talking and perform the mind meld.

  • <mind meld fighting>

  • your feelings are valid and I appreciate that

  • Oh 9:00 already? I must be getting back.

  • I have given you all that I can currently offer. So take care of

  • that life form. Live long and prosper.

  • He already forgot my name.

  • Now I must do the beam of shame.

  • First I'll shower then I'll get revenge.

  • Spock!

  • Spock, you've returned! You look calm and relaxed.

  • Don't keep us in suspense man, did you hit that?

  • Affirmative Captain, but it ended quite badly.

  • So often is the case with space relationships sadly. Women are a puzzle. Like the ancient Rubic Cube!

  • Not entirely dissimilar to the Kobayashi Maru

  • Yes! An unwinnable test! An impossible course!

  • That is why 40% of Vulcan marriages end in divorce

  • Is that a fact?

  • Affirmative captain.

  • That's a fat groove. Turn that up, Bones!

  • Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a DJ!

  • Bones is such a dick.

  • Spock I'm coming for you.

  • I'll be back in Part 2...

Captain's log Stardate 4307.1. First officer Spock

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