I am your host, Stephen Colbert.

Check your calendars because we have completed to count of two weeks of the Biden presidency and so much has changed already.

For instance, liquor sales have plummeted on.

That's just my house.

Lately, it feels like this country is going on the rails on a normal train case.

In normal this morning was the National prayer breakfast, by the way, once served with juice, toast and milk, it's part of a balanced Jesus.

Like everything in the pandemic.

This year's prayer breakfast was held remotely.

Obviously, God was there.

He's everywhere, but he's pretty old and he can't figure out how to get off mute.

We see your burning bush, but we can't hear the commandments.

In his first prayer.

Breakfast is president.

Biden spoke of the power of faith to sustain us through hardship.

This is a dark, dark time, So where do we turn?

Faith kicker guard wrote.

Faith sees best in the dark.

I believe that to be true, So I But I don't know why Joe is quoting some guy from Denmark when there's an American breakfast philosopher who so famously wrote, Follow My Nose to the fruity flavor of eternal salvation.

On the other hand, things haven't exactly been going the ex president's way ever since he What's the word?

Incited an insurrection.

And, it turns out, after his capital riot, the Screen Actors Guild sag, AFTRA remember both threatened to expel him, no surprise that they would have a falling out.

The ex president and his followers have never been huge supporters of any union but sag.

AFTRA didn't get a chance to fire the old man because he quit.

He sent them a scathingly stupid letter that begins, I write to you regarding the so called disciplinary committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership.

Who cares?

Oh, I know the guy who took the time to write a letter who also has skin so thin it makes phyllo dough sing like Kevlar.

He proceeds taking a stroll down traumatic memory lane.

While I'm not familiar with your work, I'm very proud of my work on movies such as Home Alone to Zoo Lander and Wall Street.

Money never sleeps.

Yes, who could forget his role as himself in home Alone two or his total immersion as himself in Zoo Lander or when he disappeared into the role of himself in Wall Street to he's a chameleon in that to be on camera.

I bet he did a bug.

The letter concludes as such.

This letter is to inform you of my immediate resignation from Sag AFTRA.

You have done nothing for me.

I don't know about that.

I mean, without sag.

How would you have met your personal nutritionist?

Grimace!

Hey, Speaking of acting, I can't wait to talk about Georgia representative and woman waving Heil neighbor Marjorie Taylor.

Green Green is one of the new ah que in on Congress folk who has claimed 9 11 was a hoax.

School shooting, massacres were false flag events perpetrated by government officials and the California wildfires were caused by a secret Jewish space laser.

Huh?

What could make someone believes such crazy conspiracy theories?

Could it be cam trails online?

Green also has endorsed the idea of executing Democratic leaders.

Kind of bad luck when you're okay with your new coworker's getting murdered.

Hey, guys, I cannot wait to join the team.

Tell you what, I'm gonna cut your hamstring, give you a 30 minute head start before I hunt you with a crossbow, right drinks.

Later this evening, the house voted to kick green offer committee assignments, including budget and education.

But if she's not in charge of education, who's gonna tell all those students that there never really was a shooting?

Before the House vote?

Green defended herself, and she came very close to denounce.

And Q.

And on later, in 2018, when I started finding misinformation, lies, things that were not true in these Q and on post, I stopped believing it.

And I want to tell you any source, and I say this to everyone.

Any source of information that is a mix of truth and a mix of lies is dangerous.

You're right.

It's dangerous to mix the truth.

Like you saying, I used to believe in queuing on and you lying like now I don't anymore.

She did try to clear the air on some of her past statements.

I also want to tell you 9 11 absolutely happened.

You know what?

This may come as a surprise to you, but those of us who watch those buildings burn with our bare eyes here in the New York City area are not that impressed with your willingness to admit that it happened.

I believe we, as a nation promise to always remember it happened.

What's your bumper sticker say, 9 11?

Oops, I forgot.

This is the modern GOP.

They want credit for recognizing reality.

Well, that certainly would have changed Reagan's famous speech.

Mr Gorbachev, this is a wall.

After that insult to the memory of 9 11 victims, Green tried to pass the buck to the media about what things she said.

And did you see big media companies can take teeny, tiny pieces of words that I've said that you have said any of us and can portray us into someone that we're not.

They take teeny, tiny pieces of words what the deep state calls letters, and they jammed them together to make these things called sentences that I wrote that make me look like oh, monster.

Green tried to stress that her previous support of conspiracies doesn't represent who she is now.

I never said any of these things since I have been elected for Congress.

These were words of the past.

All words, our words of the past, these words I'm saying right now they're in the past, he said.

Seconds ago.

And what do you mean?

Since you've been elected for Congress?

That's less than three months ago.

Honey, I don't understand why you're upset.

I haven't had sex with your sister once since we started this conversation.

The sex I had with her doesn't represent who I am today, though tomorrow would be nice.

The only reason the House had to hold this vote in the first place was thanks to minority leader and man watching his family leave for a road trip without him.

Kevin McCarthy.

Instead of this vote, Democrats asked McCarthy as leader of the House.

Republicans do discipline Green for her past comments At the same time, his fellow House Republicans were enraged at the pro impeachment vote of Wyoming representative and woman who just got invited to go hunting with her dad, Liz Cheney.

So last night, McCarthy called a meeting of every House Republican and boldly led them on our road to nowhere, declining to take concrete action against Green while also moving to protect Cheney.

In other words, McCarthy believes that in the GOP civil war, there are very fine people on both sides.

After the meeting, McCarthy assured the assembled media that Green expressed remorse, but he wasn't sure exactly for what I think.

It would be helpful if you could hear exactly what she told all of us denouncing que on.

I don't know if I say it right.

I don't even know what it is, really.

You don't know what it is.

Then who said this?

Let me be very clear.

There is no place for Q on on in the Republican Party.

I do not support it.

So now he's trying to distance himself from himself.

I can't wait for his next press conference.

I am emphatically denounced Ca van macro the He is a li ar ing ps of ship.

My pronouncing that correctly, I'm being told I'm not okay.

So anyway, they had what they called a family meeting last night.

And here's why Kev gave Marjorie a pass.

Reportedly, McCarthy warned his colleagues about the Democrats, saying, Quote if they come after her, will come after someone else next.

He's not wrong.

Remember the old poem?

First they came for queuing on, and I said, Thank God those maniacs scared out of me.

Green reportedly tried to step away from the wild conspiracy theories she's promoted in the past, though she sidestepped the issue of a Facebook post she made suggesting a devastating wildfire that ravaged California was started by a laser beamed from space and controlled by a prominent Jewish banking family.

So the Jewish space laser, in other words, arguably the most heinous things, she said.

That's like O.

J.

Simpson giving a heartfelt apology for ruining his gloves.

So all in all, not what you'd call a full throated apology.

But in the end, not on Lee did your colleagues refused to punish her.

They actually gave Green a standing ovation.

Oh, that ought to teach her a lesson.

Shane, coming here.

Your mother and I just got a call from the principal who said, You've been skipping class and you set the girls locker room on fire.

Now we have just one thing to say to you, Mr Whoa, you go, Shane Burn, baby burn!

That's my boy.

Here's my old Zippo.

You earned it.

The flames will talk to you.

So Marjorie Taylor Green got away with a slap on the wrist.

Similarly, when it came time to talk about Liz Cheney and her unforgivable sin of believing in anything.

Her colleagues voted overwhelmingly to let her keep her position Is House Republican Conference share in a secret ballot where the vote was 145 to 61 plus one member who voted present in a secret ballot?

He voted present.

Now that that is bravery, It reminds me of this scene from Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus present.

Yeah.

Now here's the Republicans problem.

The cornerstone of the Democrats midterm strategy and it's a pretty good one is shackling the Republican Party to Green and Kunin.

And Tuesday, in a brace yourself, kick off to the 2022 midterms the Democrats launched their first TV ad.

It has started already.

Someone roused Steve Kornacki from his hibernation nutrient chamber and have him lowered into a pair of khaki pants.

Now the ads tie eight vulnerable Republicans to Q and on including leader Kevin McCarthy.

Q and a conspiracy theory Born online, took over the Republican Party, sent followers to Congress on with Donald Trump, incited a mob that attacked the capital and murdered a cop.

Then Trump and Republicans in Congress sided with violent Cuban on mob minority leader Kevin McCarthy should have stood with us, but he was a coward.

He voted to protect Trump leader Kevin McCarthy.

He stood with Q Not you.

Being associated with the death cult is never great for your political future.

I mean, a lot of people think what really cost Al Gore.

The election in 2000 was joining Heaven's Gate.

Yeah, now it's gonna be damaging for McCarthy to be so closely associated with his own political party.

But with just a slightly different voice over, I think you need to make this ad work for him.

Q.

And on ah, conspiracy theory Born online, took over the Republican Party, sent followers to Congress and, with Donald Trump, incited a mob of patriots that attacked the capital.

And Republicans like Kevin McCarthy voted to protect Trump Congressman Kevin McCarthy.

He stood with Q.

Who?

I'm Kevin McCarthy, and I believe Jewish people have a space laser.

Yeah, we've got a great show for you tonight.

Tiffany had dishes here, but when we come back, meanwhile, stick around.