Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • - [Man] You want to do a movie?

  • We'll get one of your head characters from the TV show.

  • Take the momentum right into a movie. You're ready?

  • - I don't know. - Here we go.

  • (music plays)

  • - [Narrator] Once in a great while a filming comes along

  • that changes the way we think about ourselves.

  • - Last time, last time now,

  • I want you to push Ms. Chappelle.

  • I want you to push!

  • (screams)

  • - (coughs) Excuse me.

  • - That is one funny ass kid!

  • - Waka waka!

  • (laughs)

  • - [Doctor] And look at the penis on him!

  • It's bigger than mine!

  • What are you going to name him?

  • - I'm going to call him Dave. - [Doctor] Dave?

  • - Dave Chappelle.

  • - Watch your eye.

  • - [Narrator] He set his sights on comedy

  • and would not be denied.

  • - Where you from, when you leaving?

  • Nice shirt. Does it come in your size?

  • Do I come to your job to smack the broom at your hand?

  • Something needs to happen with this comedy thing right now!

  • (Eminem "Lose yourself" instrumental plays)

  • Jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes and

  • ha ha ha ha ha.

  • Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti!

  • 8 mile!

  • - [Narrator] His skills took them to the top

  • and allowed him to have sex with Janet Jackson,

  • Jennifer Lopez, a bunch of the girls from

  • the "Big Pimpin'" video and Halle Berry.

  • - That was great, having sex in the shower Halle Berry.

  • Drained my Monster's balls!

  • (laughs)

  • Aw girl, hold up, I'm going to call, I'll be right back.

  • Hello?

  • - [Eddie] Hey Dave, this is Eddie Murphy.

  • - [Richard] And Richard Pryor.

  • - Aw, what's up y'all?

  • - [Richard] Hey man, we were just talking about

  • how much funny you are than us.

  • - Y'all crazy, man.

  • - [Richard] Can you come and have dinner with us, Dave?

  • I mean really, please.

  • Could you have some dinner?

  • - Dinner tonight sounds great Richard Pryor!

  • - [Richard] Really? Ha, you gon' bring Halle?

  • Cause that's a fine bitch.

  • - [Dave] Nah son, that aint no dinner thing.

  • Call me later, man.

  • Hey Halle, how are you getting home?

  • - [Narrator] And all the time, he kept it real.

  • - Did I tell yall to sell drugs?

  • Huh?

  • No!

  • Hov did that.

  • So hopefully I have to go through that!

  • - [Narrator] His amazing journey led him straight

  • to the halls of power.

  • - [Dave] Thanks for having me, Mr. Bush.

  • I appreciate the invitation.

  • - [Bush] Well son, your huge heart generosity

  • and courage have saved America.

  • You're the champ.

  • - I know I am.

  • I beat everybody I've faced and I'm still here!

  • I'm still standing, I'm still strong!

  • I'm great!

  • - [Bush] Would you like to take a bath with my daughters?

  • They can learn something from you and

  • I heard you have a 16 inch penis.

  • - 18, but who's counting?

  • (both laugh)

  • - [Narrator] Dave Chappelle, written and directed by

  • Dave Chappelle.

  • - [Bush] Yeah, gimme one of them, yeah.

  • Did I get that right?

  • - (laughing) No!

  • - I need you to know the depth of my feelings for you.

  • I want you to know that, I would die for you.

  • No matter what I do, what I say, every time I try to

  • show you it's as if,

  • it's as if you don't hear me.

  • Do you?

  • Do you-

  • - What!?

  • - [Narrator] Lil' Jon in Love, crunking

  • with this bitches emotions, this July 11th.

  • - Was it good for you?

  • - Yeah!

  • Yeah!

  • - You want a sandwich?

  • - What?

  • - Do you want a sandwich?

  • - What?

  • - Do you want a sandwich?

  • - Huh?

  • - A sandwich?

  • - Okay!

  • - Do you love me?

  • (laughs sharply)

  • - How's that sandwich coming?

  • - [Narrator] This summer, only in theaters.

  • - Good evening

  • and welcome to "Inside Chappelle's Show studio."

  • We're here tonight to celebrate the career of a brilliant

  • young man, comedian actor, artists, magician,

  • and some would say a smooth pimped out player

  • from the streets that knows how to get his.

  • Please welcome, David Chappelle.

  • (crowd claps)

  • - Thank you.

  • It's overwhelming, so use to taping a comedy show.

  • So this is incredible. Thank you, William.

  • - You've done over 74 films.

  • We'll cover what time allows.

  • David in 1987, you burst onto the scene with

  • one of the most auspicious debuts in modern times.

  • I'm talking, of course about your portrayal

  • of private Jackson in "Fighting Charlie with Mr. Charlie."

  • - Yeah.

  • (crowd claps)

  • - Thank you, thank you.

  • - Here it is.

  • You're a breathtaking Oscar nominated performance.

  • (screams)

  • - Oww!

  • Little help!

  • Ahhh!

  • Damn, dog what took you so long?

  • They got me!

  • Aye, you who calling?

  • Who that, the police?

  • Tell him I got shot by some Chinese gangstas.

  • I could describe 'em!

  • Hello, Police!

  • - [Commander] Good lord Jackson!

  • Get outta here, he's too far gone.

  • - Word?

  • - [Commander] You're going to be all right soldier,

  • you made America proud.

  • You're a damn hero son!

  • - [Dave] Hey, hey, you sneaking!

  • You might go to shoot yourself in the stomach

  • and come lay down with me.

  • They going to see you.

  • I was sneaking the same way sir!

  • Permission to carry out one last mission sir.

  • - What is it, soldier?

  • - Permission to die sarge!

  • - Permission granted.

  • You report to heaven in 0800 hours

  • and that's an order soldier.

  • - I'll tell him, Uncle Sam sent me!

  • - Why god!

  • Why?

  • - [Dave] Don't ask god.

  • Ask Nixon.

  • Why Nixon?

  • Why?

  • Oww, death!

  • - I would love some (beep) before I go, ah!

  • (crowd claps)

  • - After Mr. Charlie, you took what many considered

  • the role of a lifetime when you played the

  • Duke of Yorkville, in "Improper Inquisitions".

  • (crowd claps)

  • Let's take a look.

  • - [Dave] My lady, my lady don't run from me, my lady!

  • Hey!

  • - My lord, I need to know.

  • Twas there another maiden in our bed?

  • - Say'ith twhat?

  • It appears as though my lady

  • has been rummaging through my things

  • and

  • found'ith her,

  • her birthday present early.

  • Yes.

  • Surprise!

  • - Lie'ith not. That are not pretty.

  • - The last maiden that accused me of lying.

  • I stuck my foot betwist her buttocks, so ravagely!

  • - Ah!

  • - [Dave] Then broke'ith off and snap'ith

  • as the twig

  • daugth snap!

  • So my lady,

  • I invite the to come

  • and watch me unsheath my sword

  • and swing it and sway it upon the!

  • Bring'ith!

  • Oh!

  • Uhhh, awwww, ohhh!

  • Oh, Hmm.

  • Well.

  • Hmm.

  • Seems as though the boudoir,

  • perhaps won't be necessary.

  • I've soiled my pantaloons.

  • I'm going to get a bowl of cereal.

  • You get some rest, ta ta!

  • (crowd claps)

  • - David, I've spoken to many actors who have played

  • the physically challenged.

  • When Daniel Day Lewis saw your performance in

  • "Little foot, Long foot", he threw up.

  • In the movie, you played Stanley.

  • A handicapped man with a heart of gold.

  • It's visual poetry.

  • - Thank you.

  • - Short foot, long foot.

  • Little foot, long foot!

  • Ah!

  • - [Man] Sir, let me help you!

  • - Get your,

  • god damned hands

  • off of me!

  • - But, wet floor!

  • - Shut up, oh!

  • (thwap)

  • Ah!

  • - I don't need your, damn pity!

  • (screams)

  • (inspirational music plays)

  • (yells)

  • - Get off of me!

  • - Sir, I don't want you to slip on my skateboard.

  • - Shut your damn mouth you, pothead!

  • (slow motion scream)

  • (thud)

  • - Ahhh!

  • (inspirational music plays)

  • May I have a double cheese burger?

  • A large fry

  • and something cold to drink.

  • (slow clap begins)

  • (everyone claps)

  • And the terry pie!

  • And a milkshake!

  • Ahhh!

  • (crowd cheers)

  • - Dave Chappelle, thank you.

  • - [Dave] Thank you.

- [Man] You want to do a movie?

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 dave chappelle narrator foot spaghetti halle

The Best Movie Parodies Vol. 2 - Chappelle’s Show

  • 1 0
    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/05
Video vocabulary