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  • - What's that?

  • - It means come live your life with me.

  • So what do you say?

  • - I mean, I..

  • (Rip chuckles)

  • I would like some diamonds, actually.

  • - So this is the segment of our show

  • where we play the game "Beth or Rip."

  • - This is a variety show, after all.

  • - We'll be right back.

  • (rock music)

  • Gentlemen.

  • - Come on!

  • (western music)

  • - I'll begin.

  • Who is cleaning the dishes

  • after dinner each night, Beth or Rip?

  • - I'll sit here in my jeans and I'll watch you do it.

  • What do you say?

  • - Rip. - Rip.

  • - A hundred percent.

  • - Who's doing the laundry?

  • - Rip. - Rip.

  • - Can I throw a wildcard in?

  • I think they're paying someone to do that.

  • - I love that.

  • - I don't think they're gonna be bothered to do that.

  • - It's just, really, we have Beth or Rip-

  • - Right, but Rip wears the same thing every day.

  • So Beth.

  • - Great point.

  • (chuckles) Rip hasn't done laundry in 10 years.

  • - So Beth.

  • - He is very domesticated.

  • - But if you want-

  • - He's got an apron, he's makin' breakfast-

  • - So he's gonna do all of her laundry?

  • - Yeah, and I think he likes it.

  • - You're a real Renaissance man, you know that?

  • - Don't tell anybody, now.

  • (beep)

  • - Who is most likely to rip the marriage apart

  • with an inter marital affair, Beth or Rip?

  • - If I was a man, I'd buy an apartment complex

  • and I'd fill it up with buxom little bunnies.

  • I'd start on the first floor Friday

  • and end up on the roof by Sunday.

  • - Would either of them commit that act

  • of profound cruelty? - At this point,

  • it would be..

  • not productive.

  • - You're saying that neither of those people

  • who have committed profound acts

  • of heinous violence- - Disagree. Beth.

  • - You think Beth. (beep)

  • - Who stocks the fridge with beer?

  • - Rip!

  • (beer sloshing)

  • - Feel better?

  • - Not yet.

  • - No, see there's this complete role reversal.

  • She does it for him.

  • It's one of the few things she does for him

  • that he would do that she, it's her language of love.

  • - I shoulda known it was you.

  • - It is. Because remember when they're on the porch

  • and they have that beer together?

  • That's something that she values.

  • - Who's cooking Sunday breakfast?

  • - Well, apparently- - Rip!

  • - Gator?

  • (Ian laughs)

  • - I mean, I guess Rip would do that

  • because he did cook breakfast for them already

  • in one scene when they woke up.

  • - Language of love.

  • - Coffee? (beep)

  • - Who's handling the household budgets?

  • I would obviously say Beth.

  • - Beth, yeah. - That's like, the super-

  • - The money mind.

  • - The stock will drop below 10,

  • SEC will suspend trading,

  • and every creditor you have will file on you.

  • Your company will be chapter 11 by Friday.

  • (dramatic music) (beep)

  • - Who's changing the bedsheets?

  • - Either of them might not care a whole lot.

  • - Are you sick?

  • - Do I look sick?

  • - You're in bed at noon.

  • - Rip. He's that still as his duty.

  • She does very specific languages.

  • - How long do you think he's gonna do that for her?

  • - For the rest of his life.

  • - Rip is pretty fastidiously clean.

  • Have you ever seen his shirt untucked?

  • - No, 'cause he doesn't take it off.

  • - Exactly. It's always tucked in like the hotel bed sheets.

  • (fists slamming)

  • (metal clanking)

  • - Yeah, we're not even sure if it's not stapled or glued.

  • - It's like that elastic paint or whatever

  • that they paint on the models.

  • - Oh yeah, like the body paint?

  • It's body paint. - Yeah, it's body paint.

  • - Just draw on the seams and- - Yeah.

  • - The Western, the little buttons.

  • - And then when he has to like,

  • have a scene with his shirt off,

  • they just contour over the body paint.

  • - Yeah, that's another layer of body paint.

  • - We've never actually seen Rip-

  • - They spackle him?

  • - Yeah.

  • - You know like, in old apartments

  • where they've clearly just painted over the paint

  • over and over again? - Yeah, that's what they do

  • when he has to take his shirt off.

  • - Are you trying to say that he looks like an old apartment?

  • - With his contour.

  • That's what he said.

  • I said contour.

  • - I'm gonna kill you with my bare fuckin' hands, Jimmy.

  • (beep) - Who does the food shopping?

  • - Rip.

  • If he's gonna cook it. - Rip, I think.

  • You don't see Beth eat a whole lot.

  • I feel like she's always skipping dinner.

  • - I don't think she's made it through a whole meal

  • since she was 11.

  • - She's always storming away-

  • - She's using her utensils to stab people with.

  • - Oh!

  • - (laughs) Exactly.

  • - I think she does.

  • I think she's the surgical.

  • She gathers all the information,

  • puts it down, and then he is left

  • to manipulate it and use it.

  • But it's up to her.

  • She does the programming.

  • - I have a plan for everything.

  • - But like, the shopping list is like, vodka and ice cream.

  • - Two scoops of ice cream.

  • Three shots of vodka.

  • (hand clapping) - I think I'm right on all,

  • I think I've successfully answered these correctly.

  • Yeah, I win.

  • - Clearly.

  • Without any debate.

  • He just wins. (rock music)

- What's that?

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Stories from the Bunkhouse Bonus: The Boys Play Beth or Rip? | Yellowstone | Paramount Network

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/04
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