HOW ARE YOU, HOW ARE YOU, NOT IN A SHOW BUSINESS, YOU KNOW, EMPTY

CHATTER ON A TV SHOW, REALLY, LET'S LEAN INTO IT.

I CARE, HOW ARE YOU, SINCERELY, I WANT TO KNOW.

>> Reggie: WELL, NOT AS GOOD AS YOU, GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> James: OKAY.

THAT'S REALLY, REALLY-- RUINED THE JOKE THAT WE HAD HERE.

>> Reggie: SO SORRY.

>> James: BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU SINCERELY, YOU START

TELLING ME AND I GO AH, WE HAVE TO JUMP INTO THE NEWS BUT THANK

YOU VERY MUCH, IT'S VERY KIND.

BUT LET'S GET INTO THE HEAD PINES.

PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS NOW SIGNED A RECORD 28 EXECUTIVE ORDERS IN

HIS FIRST TWO WEEKS IN OFFICE-- AND HE ADDRESSED THAT LARGE

VOLUME OF ORDERS BY SAYING THIS: >> I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR.

THERE IS A LOT OF TALK WITH GOOD REASONS ABOUT THE NUMBER OF

EXECUTIVE ORDERS THAT I HAVE SIGNED.

I'M NOT MAKING NEW LAWS AM I'M ELIMINATING BAD POLICY.

>> James: BIDEN SAID HE'S ELIMINATING BAD

POLICY.

HE ELIMINATE BAD POLICY.

I LOVE BAD POLICY, I SAW BAD POLICY IN MANCHESTER.

IN '96, THEY WERE OPENING FOR WEEZER, ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

WHAT A NIGHT JOE BIDEN IS NOW LIKE A SCHOOL STEP DAD, AV

YAITER SUNGLASS, LIKE SON I'M NOT HERE TO BE A NEW BAD, I'M

HERE TO ELIMINATE YOUR MOM'S LONELINESS.

MEANWHILE OVER ON CAPITOL HILL DEMOCRATS ARE TRYING TO PASS

BIDEN'S 1.9 TRILLION DOLLAR CORONAVIRUS RELIEF PLAN AND

BECAUSE DEMOCRATS HAVE CONTROL OF CONGRESS, THEY SAY THAT

THEY'RE NOT WAITING FOR REPUBLICANS TO COME ON BOARD

WHEN DID WE START TALKING ABOUT TRILLION, TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS

LIKE THAT IS JUST A TOTALLY NORMAL NUMBER.

WHEN DID TRILLIONS COME INTO THIS?

LIKE YOU KNOW WHERE IT COMES AFTER THIS, QUADRILLION.

THANKED IS JUST A NUMBER MADE UP BY A CHILD WHAT EVEN IS A

TRILLION.

SPELL IT OUT FOR ME, RERNLG.

>> A THOUSAND BILLIONS.

>> James: A THOUSAND BILLIONS.

>> LIKE BILLIONS IS LIKE MILLIONS, NOW.

>> James: YOU THINK A BILLION IS A MILLION.

>> Reggie: KINDA WE HAVE BILLIONAIRES.

BEFORE IT WAS OH MILLIONARE, ALL THESE MILLIONARES.

NOW IS LIKE BILLIONAIRES, SO WE ARE NOT QUITE AT THE

TRILLIONAIRES LEVEL YET.

>> James: WHO DO YOU THINK IN THIS ROOM WILL BE THE FIRST

TRILLIONAIRE.

>> SUSAN.

>> James: SUSAN, 100 PERCENT.

NO QUESTION.

NO QUESTION.

NO QUESTION.

ALL THOSE APP INVESTMENTS.

>> YES.

>> James: SECOND ROUND SNAPCHAT, FIRST ROUND PARLER

WHICH HAS BACK FIRED.

THIS IS BOLD THOUGH.

DEMOCRATS ARE TAKING CHARGE WHETHER REPUBLICANS LIKE IT OR

NOT.

THEY'RE BASICALLY TOM CRUISE ENFORCING COVID PROTOCOLS ON A

FILM SET.

WE WERE READING ABOUT THIS TOR SEE, IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS

COME ACROSS LIKE AN UNNECESSARILY SENSUAL HEADLINE,

RIGHT, TRUE HEADLINE.

DEMOCRATS WIELD THEIR MASSIVE PACKAGE AS THEY PLOW THROUGH

SENATE REPUBLICANS.

STIMULUS EVERYWHERE.

(LAUGHTER) I ACTUALLY SAW STIMULUS

EVERYWHERE IN LIVERPOOL.

THEY OPENED FOR WEEZER, FANTASTIC NIGHT.

AND DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS, A WOMAN WHO WAS CHARGED IN THE

JANUARY RIOT AT THE CAPITOL BUILDING HAS JUST ASKED

PERMISSION FROM A JUDGE TO GO ON A PLANNED VACATION TO MEXICO

BEFORE HER TRIAL.

HER ARGUMENT IS THAT THE VACATION HAS BEEN PREPAID.

I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR HER.

YOU KNOW THE PHRASE DON'T DO THE CRIME IF YOU HAVE PREPAID THE

CONGA LINE.

THE RIOTER WHO OWNED A FLOWER SHOP CLAIMS THAT THE TRIP IS A

WORK-RELATED BONDING RETREAT FOR EMPLOYEES AND SPOUSES.

AND HERE IS WHERE I THINK IT BECOMES UNSUCH WHAT TYPE OF

FLOWER SHOP HAS A BONDING RETREAT.

I HAVE BEFER NN IN FLOWER SHOP WITH MORE THAN TWO EMPLOYEES,

YOU DON'T NEED A COMPANY RETREAT, YOU NEED TO GO TO A

LUNCH.

WE WANT TO SHOW ABOUT A NEW VACCINE UPDATE, THE VACCINE

DEVELOPED BY OXFORD AND ASTRAZENECA IS THE FIRST SHOT

THAT HAS PROVE TONE REDUCE PERSON TO PERSON TRANSMISSION

RATHER THAN JUST PROTECT FROM INFECTION.

SURE, GREAT NEWSK BRILLIANT NEW, DON'T NEED THE DETAILS.

JUST GET IT IN MY ARM, NOW.

HONESTLY, AT THIS POINT I WOULD TAKE A VACCINE MADE BY ARIZONA

STATE UNIVERSITY AND FUDDRUCKERS.

I WOULD, I WOULD, TAKE THE ARIZONA AND FUDDRUCKERS VACCINE,

HAVE YOU GOT ONE, YEAH, YEAH, SURE, I WILL DO IT.

I WAS SHOCKED WHEN I READ THIS MAINLY BECAUSE I THOUGHT

ASTRAZENECA WAS THAT MOVIE THAT BRAD PITT WAS IN WHEN HE GOES TO

SPACE.

>> Reggie: I DID TOO.

>> James: ISN'T THAT WHAT IT IS CALLED, ASTRAZENECA, YOU KNOW

THE ONE, A WHITE POSTER, ASTRAZENECA.

>> HE WENT FULL-- .

>> James: LOOK AT DAVE T IS NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY.

>> I'M STILL LAUGHING AT THE ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY

FUDDRUCKERS VACCINE.

>> James: GOOD FOR YOU, DAVE.

(LAUGHTER) WHAT WAS IT CALLED?

WHAT-- .

>> Reggie: AD ASTRA.

>> James: DID YOU SEE IT.

>> Reggie: ADD ASTRA.

>> James: ADD THE ASTRA, NOW GIVE US THE ZEN BLANCA HAVE YOU

SEEN IT.

>> Reggie: I HAVEN'T.

>> James: IT GOT LOST IN WASH.

IT CAME OUT EVERYONE SAID IT WAS BAD AND ONCE UPON A TIME IN

HOLLYWOOD CAME OUT AND THEY SAY SEE, BRAD PITT IS AMAZING.

>> I THINK IT WAS GOOD BUT THE TITLE MESSED IT UP.

IT IS A BRAD PITT SPACE MOVIE.

>> James: WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE CALLED IT.

>> BRAD PITT SPACE MOVIE.

THAT WILL GET HIM IN THE SEATS.

>> James: CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT, REALLY CAN'T ARGUE WITH

THAT.

DID YOU SEE THIS, A WOMAN IN NEW YORK CITY IS NOW FACING BACK

PLASH-- BACKLASH ONLINE FOR JUMPING TO THE FRONT OF THE

CORONAVIRUS VACCINE LINE BY CLAIMING THAT SHE AS A SOULCYCLE

INSTRUCTOR IS AN EDUCATOR.

SHE APOLOGIZED SAYING THAT SHE WILL REFLECT ON THE MISTAKE FROM

NOW UNTILLED GRIND:00.

WHAT IS YOUR WORKOUT REGIME, GUILLERMO.

>> JUST SWIMMING AND DRUMMING.

>> James: SWIMMING AND DRUMMING.

>> Reggie: ALSO KNOWN AS S-WUMMING.

>> James: DON'T TRY THEM AT THE SAME TIME.

>> THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING, COULDN'T DO IT.

>> James: WHERE DO YOU SWIM?

>> THE A MY HOUSE.

>> Reggie: OOOH.

>> James: THAT IS AN INCITE.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAVE A POOL WITHIN I HAVE A SMALL SWIM SPA,

YES.

>> James: LOOK AT YOU, ROCKEFELLER.

>> NO, IT IS A SMALL SWIM SPA.

>> Reggie: SWIM SPA.

>> James: A SWIM SPA.

>> IT IS NOT A POOL T IS LIKE GOT A CURRENT AND YOU SWIM IN IT

CONSTANTLY.

>> James: IS THAT HOW YOU SWIM.

>> YEAH, LIKE THIS, YEAH.

>> James: AND HERE'S THE CRAZY STORY.

YOU KNOW THAT BLUE CHECK MARK THAT VERIFIES OFFICIAL ACCOUNTS

ON SOCIAL MEDIA, A SAN FRANCISCO-BASED ARTIST

REPORTEDLY FOOLED HUNDREDS OF BAY AREA RESIDENTS INTO APPLYING

FOR BLUE CHECK HOME TO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS AUTHENTIC PUBLIC

FIGURES IN REL LIFE.

THE ARTIST DID IT AS A JOKE BY UNDERESTIMATED JUST HOW TERRIBLE

PEOPLE ARE.

WHY WOULD YOU NEED SOMETHING ON YOUR PROPERTY TO SIGNAL THAT YOU

ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

THAT IS WHAT REALLY-- SWIM-- ARE FOR.

CAN YOU IMAGINE LIVING NEXT DOOR TO SOMEONE WHO WANTED SOMETHING

LIKE THIS, EVERY MORNING YOUR NEIGHBOR GREETS YOU LIKE HEY,

MORNING, BE SURE TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE.

AND FINALLY A FLORIDA MAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER CALLING 911 EARLY

IN THE MORNING REQUESTING A FREE RIDE HOME, BUT THE MOST UNUSUAL

PART OF THE STORY WAS THE TATTOO THAT POLICE NOTICED ON THE MAN'S

FOREHEAD WHEN THEY ARRIVED.

SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT IT.

HERE IT IS HERE.

LOOK AT THAT.

HE HAD A TATTOO OF THE STATE OF FLORIDA ON HIS FOR HEAD, LIKE

THEY SAY, THEY CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF FLORIDA, CAN'T TAKE THE

FLORIDA OUT OF THE MAN, NOT WITHOUT MULTIPLE ROUNDS OF

EXTENSIVE LASER TREATMENT.

AND HAVE YOU GOT ANY TATTOOS, REG.

>> NOT A ONE.

>> James: NOT A ONE, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TEMPTED.

>> I LIVED IN SEATTLE IN THE '90S SO IT WAS HARD, EVERYBODY,

EVERYBODY WAS DOING IT.

AND SCAR IF I KAITION AND PIERCING.

BUT I MADE IT I JUST NEVER, I JUST NEVER, I WAS LIKE, I THINK

I WILL JUST GO ALL THE WAY THROUGH LIFE AND JUST NOT

[BLEEP] WITH ANYTHING.

>> James: HOW WHAT YOU FEEL IF I TOLD YOU HI BOTH NIPPLES

PIERCED?

>> I ACTUALLY WOULD-- .

>> James: TO BE HONEST, WHAT WOULD YOU THINK.

>> I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.

>> James: AND NOT EVEN STUDS, HOOPS.

TWO HOOPS AND I JUST SAY IT'S JUST FOR ME, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST

LIKE, SO MUCH OF MY LIFE IS-- (LAUGHTER).

>> James: SO MUCH OF MY LIFE IS OUT THERE AND IN PUBLIC I

JUST FELT I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY ONE ON PLANET EARTH WORSE TO HAVE BOTH

NIPPLES PIERCED THAN ME.

IT WOULD BE HORRIFIC.

I'M LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM.

WHO IN HERE, GUILLERMO COULD GET AWAY WITH A NIPPLE PIERCING, I

THINK DAVE COULD GET AWAY WITH A NIPPLE PIERCING.

I THINK PETE, ALMOST CERTAINLY HAS GOT AN INTIMATE PIERCING

THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

OFF LIMITS, SORRY, PETE, SORRY PETE, SORRY PETE.

PETE CAN HANG A BAR BELL OFF HIS-- OFF HIS--

(LAUGHTER) >> BUT THE MAN FINALLY DECIDED

TO GET THE TATTOO COVERED UP, UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS WITH

SOMETHING EVEN WORSE.

THAT'S IT.

(APPLAUSE).